Approved Character [LSDF Akahar] Ny'za Hasti "Pitch" Lmanel

[Syaoran]

Character Article URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=characters:yamatai:ny_za_lmanel
Preferred Plot's GM: @Luca

 

[Luca]

Hi @Syaoran / Li, I've taken a look and here's what I've noticed

• Hair Colour and Style has a : that's connected to the sentence it leads into.
  
• Lorath age half as quickly as humans. Ergo, at 32 years old, your character is the equivalent of 16 years old - a little young to be serving on a dangerous salvage ship!
• Aspectation usually requires a formal ceremony, and might require either some VERY good friends to help undergo the process or your character's parents being forced to go along with it.
• Perhaps knocking things around and knocking the Mechs over is what landed her a spot on the Akahar. It could be worth mentioning that.

If you could address these, you'll be good to go - good work so far though!

 

[Syaoran]

Alright made the changes now so to everything I think that'll work out.

 

[Luca]

I just had to fix a couple of spelling errors in the Skills, otherwise, I'd say you are good to go.

Consider this character Approved and ready to spread her wings!