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Hi @Syaoran / Li, I've taken a look and here's what I've noticed
Hair Colour and Style has a : that's connected to the sentence it leads into.
Lorath age half as quickly as humans. Ergo, at 32 years old, your character is the equivalent of 16 years old - a little young to be serving on a dangerous salvage ship!
Aspectation usually requires a formal ceremony, and might require either some VERY good friends to help undergo the process or your character's parents being forced to go along with it.
Perhaps knocking things around and knocking the Mechs over is what landed her a spot on the Akahar. It could be worth mentioning that.
If you could address these, you'll be good to go - good work so far though!
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