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Approved Character [LSDF Val'ta] Corporal Ix'ion "Sentinel" A'kai'nan Fyunnen

G'day Archander,

Here's my feedback.
  • Do we know if there's such a thing as MMA in the setting? You could say that her build resembles that of a star combat athlete.
  • He seems like quite a catch, quite masculine too.
  • Personality seems in line for a Fyunnen - quietly furious and calculating. The goals are quite noble too.
  • Yes, it'd make sense that males joining the clan would swap their name over to the maiden name.
  • Something occurs to me with his subservience to female Lorath. What happens if Porrim feels like walking around as a man for a couple of days?
  • Searching for honour's always honourable.
  • If he learned how to use a myriad of different weapons, did he travel around to use them? Did he spend some time at a Nepleslian gun range while he was on shore leave, or get a taste of how Yamatai did things via the UOC?
  • Please add the skill Communications and list Sentinel's known languages. Lorath Language is covered in detail in this article. Ly'thir and Ci'kesa should be the first and foremost languages.
Please address the lack of communication skill, and perhaps indulge my other suggestions if you feel they are valid, and I'd say you're golden.

PS: How'd you get the info-block on the right side?
 
I've made adjustments necessary based on feedback received and hope they are suitable.

PS: Above the information block add the lines:

Code: 
~~NOTOC~~
<WRAP right 25em>

The 25 can be increased or decreased, changing the size of the table as a whole.

Then below the block:

Code: 
</WRAP>
 
RPG-D RPGfix
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