I looked through and fixed a few typos, hopefully I didn't mess anything up.
If this is based on Sora-Mai, you might want to add a sentence mentioning that this is either modified for non-Neko (or non-Minkan, etc.) or offers different training courses depending on the abilities of the user.
Everything looks great to me, besides the final Military part. Something still seems off about it. Maybe note more specifically that it's an additional training course only Star Army members can take? I guess it just seems vague when I would think Yamatai would want it very specific. If that makes sense. We can see how Wes feels about it.
Also maybe mention a bit about soldiers that pass the final course getting a certification, award or some other recognition? Or a bit saying how soldiers that complete this are considered highly qualified and Officers are always looking for recruits from here? Something to make it seem a bit prestigious, like Ranger training or something, if you know what I mean.