Massive Abwehran Update (Status Report)

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  - Updated System Package: Jaspis, Abwehr, Gefahr, Imperial Statistics, Important System Locales.
  - CCG Package
  - Organizations Package: Weapons Manufacturers, Shipbuilders, etc.
  - Uniform/Rank Package: Uniform, Patches, Medals
  - Vehicle/Vessels Package

CSEIA Student: "... And the survey team has reported back from their mission. Planet has significant deposits of elements suitable for starship production. Fairly high population density, but limited starship technologies. And there is neither a Star Army nor SMX presence in the system at the moment."

CSEIA Professor: "Huzzah! Jaspis will be ours for the taking! Now fetch me those mind control beacons and prepare a transport."

CSEIA Student: "Umm, Professor, Administration took away the prototypes. They're still angry about the incident in the prisoner pens last week."

CSEIA Professor: "Well how was I supposed to know that they'd actually interpret 'fuck' as a command?"

CSEIA Student: "Yeah... Well in any case, we don't have any working prototypes on hand. And I think Administration is uneasy about using them openly on account of the political fallout."

CSEIA Professor: "Oh that is so uncool of them. I was really looking forward to subjugating a barbarian species today, too."

CSEIA Student: "..."

CSEIA Professor: "How about superweapons then? We still have those neutron flux warheads, hyperspace shunt bombs, and I think those guys up in genetic engineering were working on a retrovirus that causes the insides of humanoids to swell up and explode. If its ready for field testing, this will be a perfect opportunity..."

CSEIA Student: "Sir..."

CSEIA Professor: "Oh, you're probably right. Between the weapons themselves, planetary surface cleanup costs, and hiring pirate mercenaries to wipe out pockets of resistance, we'd be quite in debt. I guess planetary conquest just isn't in our budget. Such a shame."

CSEIA Student: "Well, sir, we can always send a diplomatic envoy and to work out trade agreements. I believe with our technological leverage we can negotiate for labor and resources for quite a good price. Would you like me to prepare an envoy, sir?"

CSEIA Professor: "Ugh. Fine, I give up! Send a stupid diplomat then. At least they'll buy us time until Administration stops being stuck up wankers and gives us back our mind control beacons. Stupid bureaucrats."

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Entire Abwehran Species: *Simultaneously face palms*

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Leutre Veressis said:

Meanwhile at CSEIA, preparations are being made for contact with the Abwehrans...

CSEIA Professor: "...I guess planetary conquest just isn't in our budget. Such a shame."

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