Approved Character Matthew Smith

[CadetNewb]

Adjusts his tie.

Well, here's the latest for Phoenix.

https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=characters:yamatai:matthew_smith

 

[Doshii Jun]

Just one question: What color of the wheat bread is his hair? The crust or the bread itself?

 

[CadetNewb]

Yes, I clarified this, and also added on a little information in his personal build. Looking back, it seems a little thin, but right now, I can't think of much to add.

 

[Aendri]

Placeholder. I'll swing by and check in just a few.

 

[Aendri]

Looks good overall, just a couple of things.

First, is that I'm pretty sure the yamataian transfer was free, so long as you were a Yamataian resident. That's easy to switch up, just say he used the money on setting his family up in a part of town where it was a decent bit nicer then their old neighborhood or something.

In his likes, you talk about him "maybe" disliking nekos. It's really a yes or no thing, since he lived there, and undoubtedly met some.

I find it a bit strange that someone who'd been dealing with stuff along those lines for so long would have as few possessions as he does, but that's not a real problem.

Other then that, looks good. Sorry it took me so long, I got distracted, and totally forgot. :?

 

[CadetNewb]

Ok, I think I've hammered things out.

I changed the Yamataian transfer, and had his siblings moved to a nicer neighborhood. It sounded like a good idea, and I liked it. I've also altered his dislike into more of a mistrust and fear, moving it to the personal section. A yes or no is too black an white for what I had in mind.

I've also added a few more items to his inventory, including a swtichblade, black business suit with stripes, and a black fedora with stripes. Hmmm. Need to add black leather gloves....

I've also increased the occurrence of the word 'normal' as well. Hope it's good.

 

[Aendri]

Well, looks good to me. You got my approval.

 

[SSharp]

Should I move this into the Approved forums?

 

[Aendri]

Please.