Strictly speaking, more of an 'upgrade' to a PC than a new character. For the YC-28 plot, as a personal favor to Doc.
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=ch ... n_alphonse
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=ch ... n_alphonse
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Approved Character Maximillian Alphonse
- Thread starter FM
- Start date
DocTomoe
Well-Known Member
Ello there, Wes, I'm needing to fill in a character spot, since Doshii has given up on playing his character. FM's Alphonse would serve an important role aboard the YC-28, and he will not be acknowledged formally as a crew member, but as a sort of civilian operative... if he absolutely needs to be pulled into SAINT to be aboard the YC-28, then we'll go through the IC motions of taking care of the task.
All in all though, I need this character to make my plot work, at least for the moment. Otherwise, it is just me and Tiff, playing one character each.
All in all though, I need this character to make my plot work, at least for the moment. Otherwise, it is just me and Tiff, playing one character each.
Helen went to Alphonse for the express purpose of recruiting him and using him when she deemed useful. That's why he's frozen there. A former officer more familiar with the Ayame than modern engineering staff would be a useful tool to have, not to mention a politician.
It can be assumed that Helen intends to reinstate his commission as a Star Army officer and to recruit him into SAINT, thus rendering his civilian status moot. She may perhaps even use him as a 'slave', letting him stay on the ship as long as he is given the superficial appearance of being thrall to Helen.
It can be assumed that Helen intends to reinstate his commission as a Star Army officer and to recruit him into SAINT, thus rendering his civilian status moot. She may perhaps even use him as a 'slave', letting him stay on the ship as long as he is given the superficial appearance of being thrall to Helen.
Slave, maybe. Maybe. SAINT gets away with shit like that, I imagine. But Helen's only a Juni; she's in no position to reinstate anyone.
Even as a Taii. My bad though; I forgot about her promotion.
1. The last sentence in his personality ... what does it mean?
2. History:
a. What things did he do to Elisa and the other women?
b. When did he start training in Kyoto?
c. When did he become an officer? What rank did he start at?
d. Did Henry Chen ever refer to him as a Shosa?
e. How long did he serve for? When did he retire?
f. When did he start working the local government on Anisa?
The other events are canon, so I'll leave them be.
3. Skills:
a. Engineering is incomplete.
b. Leadership is fine ... but you'd better be ready to back it up. Not everyone's going to listen to him.
c. On Fighting, is he competent with power armor? Your writing seems to suggest he's not.
d. In Knowledge: "Seeking truth hidden between sword and sorcery?" Explain, please, or just take it out all together.
e. Communication is in limbo. I need something about languages first.
4. Inventory:
a. What markings are on the windbreaker? What time era is it from?
b. What the hell is the bandana about? Detail it completely, please. No vagueness.
c. The .45 doesn't have to be modified to take extended mags. Just slip the extended mag in, and you're fine.
Overall: The reasons I would have to disprove this character are relatively few. Though highly special, he's written very well — probably because you've used him in other places, and you're well versed in his character. He's also not particularly overpowered; he's just meant to be very badass. And he's already got some canon behind him, unfortunately.
Despite all that, however, I have large reservations about approving him. He pushes a lot of envelopes in terms of precedents and makes me uncomfortable with the potential for abuse he has. Your history with characters also puts me on edge, considering your first character was a complete mess that I fail to understand at all, and that the chances of this character interacting successfully with other characters seems nil. In short, you'll stick with the original B& and not deviate, especially since a) Yangfan's gone and b) you don't get along with a single admin.
But. I can't consider that kind of stuff and still be fair. So you can fix the things above, or I can disprove this character and force you to start from scratch. Your choice.
This character is pending.
2. History:
a. What things did he do to Elisa and the other women?
b. When did he start training in Kyoto?
c. When did he become an officer? What rank did he start at?
d. Did Henry Chen ever refer to him as a Shosa?
e. How long did he serve for? When did he retire?
f. When did he start working the local government on Anisa?
The other events are canon, so I'll leave them be.
3. Skills:
a. Engineering is incomplete.
b. Leadership is fine ... but you'd better be ready to back it up. Not everyone's going to listen to him.
c. On Fighting, is he competent with power armor? Your writing seems to suggest he's not.
d. In Knowledge: "Seeking truth hidden between sword and sorcery?" Explain, please, or just take it out all together.
e. Communication is in limbo. I need something about languages first.
4. Inventory:
a. What markings are on the windbreaker? What time era is it from?
b. What the hell is the bandana about? Detail it completely, please. No vagueness.
c. The .45 doesn't have to be modified to take extended mags. Just slip the extended mag in, and you're fine.
Overall: The reasons I would have to disprove this character are relatively few. Though highly special, he's written very well — probably because you've used him in other places, and you're well versed in his character. He's also not particularly overpowered; he's just meant to be very badass. And he's already got some canon behind him, unfortunately.
Despite all that, however, I have large reservations about approving him. He pushes a lot of envelopes in terms of precedents and makes me uncomfortable with the potential for abuse he has. Your history with characters also puts me on edge, considering your first character was a complete mess that I fail to understand at all, and that the chances of this character interacting successfully with other characters seems nil. In short, you'll stick with the original B& and not deviate, especially since a) Yangfan's gone and b) you don't get along with a single admin.
But. I can't consider that kind of stuff and still be fair. So you can fix the things above, or I can disprove this character and force you to start from scratch. Your choice.
This character is pending.
Refers essentially to the 'darkness in his heart', as it were. It's something that will likely be better explained in roleplay.Doshii Jun said:
a) I'm pretty sure I've told you this before, if not shown you directly, but if not, I'd really rather you ask me in PM. Like I said it's not really fit for publication in the publically available bio - but nor am I trying to keep it secret. It's just...dirty.Doshii Jun said:
b) YE 18.
c) That would depend on how long the training program at Kyoto was - I'm assuming that it's 4 years, so YE 22. He started at the rank of Shoi.
d) No rank was given; I assumed a midtable officer as that makes the most sense for a specialist in a fleet that saw little combat.
e) He retired in late YE 27.
f) Mid YE 28.
Doshii Jun said:
a) Whups. Fixed.
b) I consider it a challenge. Certainly he'll have to earn his respect, and I don't intend to skip that.
c) He is competent with PAs, I'll try and make it more clear.
d) Given the history of the setting and the remnants of tales long past, searching for elements of history in early literature would be of course a fruitful endeavor for those amateur historians.
e) Fair. I'm willing to change it based on consensus, but being a politician he would be able to speak at least the major languages of the empires.
Doshii Jun said:
a) It's probably from at least YE 14, but don't quote me on that. The markings are standard GSA symbols, probably a part of a variant uniform of the time, or maybe a custom job Alphonse had made for himself.
b) It's a bandana. What do you want from me? He doesn't remember where he got it but I can tell you that it's old, probably from one of the early wars, maybe even pre-Yamatai. There's nothing special about it other than that, he just likes it.
c) All right.
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As for the rest...I believe this. I can roleplay and I'm damned good at it. I would like to think you'd know me better than to think I'd allow my personal issues to get in the way of playing Alphonse right. Throughout my entire tenure on the site, no matter my mistakes, I've remained true to my characters.
To be entirely honest, people think the wrong things about me and what I've done, and I want the chance to prove myself. Don't deny it to me based on the transgressions of the past.
R1. Just kill that sentence then. It's superfluous; you'll set up his scary demeanor well enough through roleplay.
R2a. We're adults here, even the ones who aren't. It's not an ERP. I can make a few guesses — rape, slavery, torture, etc. — but I don't know. Which means others don't either.
R2b-f. OK, so he was 24 when he started officer training, so probably 18 or 20 when he signed up ... 28 when he became a Shoi ... but was never referred to specifically as a Shosa. So make him a Taii instead. But he retired from the military when he was 33, worked for the Anisa government at 34, and then screwed up with Chen (as a senator) when he was 35. Now he's 36 and in stasis.
*nods* OK, that all works. Edit those dates in, please.
R3a-c. OK. That's cool.
R3d. ... No. Just, no. It doesn't make sense. It's a fancy way of saying he reads books, more or less, and it isn't needed. Please take it out.
R3e. Agreed, that's fair. He'd know Elysian and Trade, at the least.
R4a. Just remove the markings on the windbreaker, and you're fine. We don't know what the uniform was back then, and Wes hasn't detailed it out. Easier to just remove it. Besides which, there's no information on whether Yamatai allows military insignia and symbols to be worn by the masses, especially in a time of war.
R4b. What I want is what the actual padding is (is it padding? Is it ammo? What is it?). I can live with the strange ability he has in taking it on or off.
R5. FM, I know you can roleplay fine. That's not the point. The point is that your character's, well, evil, and you playing him truly might be worse than you metagaming with him. You could (possibly will) catch the same kind of flak that Fred gets on occasion — the character just so happens to like/want/pursue the same goals as the player.
You'll get your chance to prove yourself, however. Like I said, I'm not holding it against you. So, get to addressing the above edits, and then you'll be approveable.
R2a. We're adults here, even the ones who aren't. It's not an ERP. I can make a few guesses — rape, slavery, torture, etc. — but I don't know. Which means others don't either.
R2b-f. OK, so he was 24 when he started officer training, so probably 18 or 20 when he signed up ... 28 when he became a Shoi ... but was never referred to specifically as a Shosa. So make him a Taii instead. But he retired from the military when he was 33, worked for the Anisa government at 34, and then screwed up with Chen (as a senator) when he was 35. Now he's 36 and in stasis.
*nods* OK, that all works. Edit those dates in, please.
R3a-c. OK. That's cool.
R3d. ... No. Just, no. It doesn't make sense. It's a fancy way of saying he reads books, more or less, and it isn't needed. Please take it out.
R3e. Agreed, that's fair. He'd know Elysian and Trade, at the least.
R4a. Just remove the markings on the windbreaker, and you're fine. We don't know what the uniform was back then, and Wes hasn't detailed it out. Easier to just remove it. Besides which, there's no information on whether Yamatai allows military insignia and symbols to be worn by the masses, especially in a time of war.
R4b. What I want is what the actual padding is (is it padding? Is it ammo? What is it?). I can live with the strange ability he has in taking it on or off.
R5. FM, I know you can roleplay fine. That's not the point. The point is that your character's, well, evil, and you playing him truly might be worse than you metagaming with him. You could (possibly will) catch the same kind of flak that Fred gets on occasion — the character just so happens to like/want/pursue the same goals as the player.
You'll get your chance to prove yourself, however. Like I said, I'm not holding it against you. So, get to addressing the above edits, and then you'll be approveable.
This character is approved for IC usage, with exceptions. The character has two questions pending — If a Taii can hire a civilian contractor, and what other languages exist — which must be dealt with before this character can be fully approved. In the meantime, the character can be RP'd, but not actively participate, in the setting and plot of the player's choice.
This is FM's only active character slot.
This is FM's only active character slot.
There's the answer.
So, you could possibly have Alphonse be a slave, and be treated like one (that appears key, as he can't have access to "the best tech" or "game support") or find another place for him. You're still approved-with-exceptions.
So, you could possibly have Alphonse be a slave, and be treated like one (that appears key, as he can't have access to "the best tech" or "game support") or find another place for him. You're still approved-with-exceptions.
OK. But I still have to enforce the exceptions, so he'd better not be spouting French until that's sorted out. And he'd better follow Wes' bit too.
