Approved Character Migisi Pima

For Tom's shop of horrors and ballet

https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=characters:yamatai:migisi_pima

Probably messed up somewhere, but oh well.

And yes, I intentionally left the recent years a grey area. I like having room to fiddle with stuff after all, and plus... I don't know the precise details of Tom's plot so I won't try to fit her in somehow. :lol:

Hm... I can't put my finger on it, but she just seems to be a little bit Mary Sueish in the personality/history department. Kind of like the benevolent, self-sacrificing heroine who holds the interests of others above herself.

She's going to learn some HARD lessons on Nepleslia the way she is right now. Is there any way she could be a little more human in this regard? I mean, she was basically a slave for 5 years... if not bitter, that has to at least make a person cautious and suspicious of her surroundings. I mean, the moment she was defiant, they obviously beat the living crap out of her. When you're... 11?... that's gotta leave some emotional scars.

Since she's only 19, those five years under slavery were probably extremely important to the formation of her personality, as well as her skills. What did she learn while being a slave? Those things she learned in her formative years may be a little irrelevant when she's trying to live through the day not being killed/raped by her captors.

That in mind, I think the idea of a free nomad slave is awesome, but I think this character needs a reworking the way it is right now to take into account those precious 5 years, as well as the 3 years she spent living a tough life alone.

EDIT: Also check here.

https://stararmy.com/roleplay/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=2199&p=26395#p26395

I'm with Tom on this one. I'll add that the lack of the last three years of history is not really acceptable. She had to get on the planet and survive somehow, didn't she? And you know enough about Tom's plot to at least fill in how she survived for those three years.

Otherwise ... yeah. Her personality actually feels very thin. Your writing style, utterly unique as it is, lends very little to that point. You go into great depth about her looks; try that with her personality.

What bothers me most, however, are these "natives." Huh? What? Are you alluding to American Indians, or something else? And what tongue? What history? I'd prefer you not start up new canon in a bio, as I wrongly did with the People of the Book.

We've been here before, methinks.

*Fiddles a little to leave only one year of history left unsaid for the most part. Kinda.*

Natives are simply a ethnic group, as I already said to Jaqueline. So yes, Native Americans.

IN SPACE.

Personality was... added... a little... And I once again demonstrate my HATRED FOR THE SUBJECT, ARAKGAGJAGAJGIRJA!

As such, it will probably stay thin for the most part. Mm.


And that isn't so much Mary Sueish unless she has uber powers of awesome, which she doesn't.

The slavers, as I believe I said in the block'o'history, weren't exactly cruel. She did get injured twice by them, but overall not cruel. As such, there would be less changes in personality.

Plus, not everyone is effected by those types of situations like that. Some are, yes, and they do usually get more of the image of it, but still.

And... yeah... Thats... it. I think.

Still feels flat to me, though it's good enough to pass muster here. Mary Sue doesn't equate to having powers; it's a matter of character construction. She could be MORE Mary Sue without trying hard, but eh.

I'm OK with it. Tom?

Will wait until Friday for all character applications to be collected for judging. If I see something here that I don't like, I'll mention it. Rock on!

I approve this character. However, please pay attention to the concerns listed in my first reply. The main idea here is to have fun, of course.

Nerkat
Euchie
Akamaru
Yuurei

Nerry almost done, Euchie is temporary.

So I can wait.