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Mishhuvurthyar Tentacles

CadetNewb

Well-Known Member
Submission Type: Article Update, Anatomy/Phisiology
Submission URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:mishhuvurthyar:tentacles

Faction:
FM Approved Yet: No
Faction requires art: Not Sure

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles: No
Contains New art: No
Previously Submitted: Not Sure

Notes:

Originally, I had started on a WIP of the STP or 'Standard Tentacle Package', but never finished it. But before I knew it, that unfinished version was taken and put in place of the original page anyways. What I have here is the continuation of that same update, and though it's not done yet, I was hoping for feedback as always.
 
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I'd like @Fred, @Gunhand4171 and @Wes to have a gander at this. We have no FM for the Mishhuvurthyar, but as they are the FMs of the two factions who most often have Mishhu contact, I'd like their thoughts.

Also, for a newbie's perspective, @LittleWasp?
 
Well, I'm not sure what I ought to be looking for, but I can at least say that it looks well presented to me, and I didn't notice any glaring grammatical errors. I can see the resemblance to the old STP article in it. The 'Other' section at the bottom seems partially redundant, but I assume it's place there is temporary.
 
I'm not fond of these articles. It tries to nail down details on stuff I'd rather perceive as more unfathomable. Which is a silly preferrence of mine, but it doesn't help that several items in there don't quite behave like in my 'headcanon'. Normally, this would prompt a response from Cadetnewb saying: "totally willing to cooperate, let me know the details you want in" but then I'd air my points, I'd get contradicted/debated by other people and I frankly don't want to get into that.

So, get this cleared with Wes, not me. whatever happens here, I'll probably GMify it to my liking in my plot. *shrug*
 
Reactions: raz
It's not a bad article, I guess. But I agree with Fred in that it seems unnecessary. And it has a pretty porn-y vibe.

Also, the article itself seems incomplete. There are three empty headers.
 
Darn. I really tried removing as much of the porny-vibe as possible. Though, yes, it is incomplete - I wanted feedback on what's currently there so far.
 
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