Masumi noticed that it would take a bit of time for the program to load and asked Takumi a question.
"Do you have a strong personal attachment to what we're about to experience?" Masumi asked.
With a soft sigh, Takumi nodded, suddenly looking very serious... and grave. "Yes," he replied softly. The computer interrupted him with a verbal confirmation.
"Accessing post mission log for YSS Sheridan. Date of Log: YE 29. Loading parameters. Modes Available: Observation Only. Warning: This simulation is not for the faint of heart. Will you proceed?"
"I will proceed," he told the computer. Turning back to his junior, the science officer finally finished his answer, "This is when I died."
The holo-chamber was suddenly replaced with a sea of sparkling stars all around them, as if they were floating in space. The beautiful scene was only available for a few minutes before a ship began to form around them.
Before they were encased in its metal shell, it would obviously be an Irim-class Heavy Gunship... Probably a museum piece nowadays, Takumi mused as the computer set the scene for them.
She knew little about the contents of this simulation, but gritted her teeth when the words "...not for the faint of heart..." were spoken. Her own experiences in this room had been when she had almost died and to hear someone wanted to relive their own death made her wonder if there really were people out in the universe like her, that wanted to see what went wrong even if it hurt to do so.
As the sea of darkness surrounded them and there were only stars to look at, Masumi instinctually popped off of the floor and hovered above the ground, next to the stoic Takumi. She looked around them with an open mouth and even wider eyes. She had run simulations in space hundreds of times, but never someone else's simulation. She was swallowed up by the ship and her buoyancy in the air remained as she floated next to Takumi.
Smiling at the now-floating Masumi, the science officer gave her worried look some reassurance. “Don’t worry. Nothing here will hurt us. It’s just a projection. The only threat here is a mental one.” Easier said than done, he supposed. Taking a deep breath to relax as the ship was complete and the scenario began.
They came from below. Crawling on multiple tentacle appendages, the massive bulbous nightmares incarnate poured from the engineering decks to infest the other areas of the ship. The crew of the YSS Sheridan responded with alacrity, but they were ultimately overwhelmed by the sheer number of Mishhu. Those not killed outright would suffer an even worse fate.
Takumi paid little mind to the carnage and other… more troubling activities around them as he led Masumi through halls soaked in blood and other fluids. Pockets of resistance remained evident, but most of the decks they passed by were filled with lewd noises and feminine cries of both pain and ecstasy. As they moved along, the recording would follow them until eventually arriving at the medbay.
A few times, Masumi outwardly shuddered, raising her hands as if to protect herself from some supposed threat, but they went unnoticed by the Mishhu. She had never seen them up close and personal before and she violently shivered more than once.
"What are these things' mission? To do..." she looked around. "This? This is..." Masumi trailed off, unable to put words to it. Besides, they had arrived at the medbay and she had a sinking suspicion this was Takumi's final destination.
Although he tried not to show it, the bestial and ravenous tendencies of their enemy of old troubled Takumi as well. He paused a moment in front of the medbay doors to take in a few breaths. “They… They breed,” he finally responded to her, even if her question had been rhetorical. “Once they are done, they will find a way to infect another ship. They are monstrous and inhumane.”
Glancing down at the chronometer on his datapad, Takumi sighed again with almost a whisper. “It’s about that time.” He stepped forward, and the medbay doors opened as if to welcome him to his own grave. A chilling air greeted them as well upon entrance. Once inside, they would see single figure in one of the corners of the medbay.
The figure was wrapped in shattered power armor and was holding out against a seemingly endless horde of the creatures. Bloodied and helmetless, the viridian haired man with steel gray eyes locked in angry and concentration wielded a combat knife in his right hand and the battered barrel of his rifle in the other.
Takumi silently watched his mirrored half take the fiends on in melee combat, having run out of ammunition what felt like ages ago at this point. He tirelessly cut wandering tentacles and bashed in Mishhu brains like a man possessed. Behind him, several variously injured Neko and sprites lay in a huddled group, blatant fear plain in their eyes and expressions.
"That's... That's not right," Masumi said, choking back tears.
When they entered, she turned to look away from the man fighting back the Mishhu invaders until a fraction of a second after setting eyes on him, she recognized him to be the same man standing next to her. It all seemed to make sense now, and Masumi looked to the Takumi that was next to her with bewildered but sympathetic eyes before then looking back to the scene unfolding while her hand moved over towards him to hold his in it.
"I sometimes relive the moments I fear the most, but this is different. This is when you died," Masumi said to him with a surge of emotion. "You'll never know how you felt in that moment, only be able to guess as you watch it and then as you think about it days and years from now." She gave his hand a squeeze and went on, "There are things we're not meant to know, though."
Her touch was almost a sting to him, but only because he was not expecting it. However, Takumi instinctively gripped her hand in return. There was an enormous battle of emotion welling up inside of him while watching the futile attempts of his former self. For every single Mishhu killed, two more would take its place.
“Yes…” he managed to croak in return. “Sometimes, you just have to face that which you fear the most… no matter how painful it might be.”
His mirror was slowly losing ground, and eventually the inevitable occurred. One of his cuts was not deep enough, and the Mishhu were on him. The tentacle he meant to sever instead wrapped around his right arm and swiftly broke it with a gruesomely loud crack of bone. The real Takumi’s right hand clenched almost out of reaction, but his arm was actually fine.
The predictable cry of pain was cut short as the same beast used all of its strength to throw holo-Takumi across the medbay. He slammed hard against the bulkhead at an odd angle and crashed to the deck in a bleeding pile. Any attempts to rise would fail, and the real Takumi could immediately tell that his mirror’s lower spine was likely severed from the impact.
Masumi gasped and brought her free hand to cover her pink lips with it while the holographic projection of Takumi's arm was broken. She felt Takumi's grip on her hand tighten and she squeezed back gently. When he was thrown, though, and his spine was destroyed, she pushed her face into Takumi's shoulder for a split second before looking back, remembering his recent words and garnering strength from them.
She watched, peeking out from her position. A position of intimacy she had never experienced before, though she felt instinctually driven to be close to him, as if the experience of seeing his final moments in one body brought her closer to his next one, his current one.
Takumi dared not look away as if mesmerized by his own impending doom. He felt Masumi clutch at him, and his own free hand rose up to touch her shoulder. It was his way of comforting her while continuing to watch the scene before them.
With no strength in his legs, old Takumi began using his good arm to defiantly crawl towards the enemy. However, the Mishhu completely ignored the now impotent Yamataian. They had their prize and would relish taking them while he bore witness to his failure.
His curses against the devilspawn were loud and vulgar, but even these were drowned out by the chorus of moans and wails emanating from his previous charges. The real Takumi frowned uncharacteristically as he watched his former self’s pain and anguish at failing to protect his crew.
Thankfully, the scene was cut short when someone still in their conscious mind activated the self-destruct sequence. In a blink of an eye, the YSS Sheridan and all of her crew ceased to exist in a bloom of a newborn son. Takumi shielded his eyes from the bright glare before the recording terminated.
“Mission log complete. Have a nice day!” The cheery voice of the computer belied the tension in Takumi’s body as his heart fought to slow down. His gray-violet eyes were moist, and the hand on Masumi’s shoulder trembled noticeably as the Minkan officer contemplated the ending.
Feeling the apparent tremble from Takumi, Masumi put her hand on his that held her shoulder and pressed her palm into the top of it. She pushed herself nearer him and bowed her head so that her cheek could press against his chest as she mumbled nearly incoherently.
"That was awful for you. It must have been the worst pain I've ever seen experienced. It far exceeds the fear I have lived with half of my life and only nullifies the pain I once felt at my own traumas and, yet, expounds upon it. I'm sorry, I am going on. Are... Do you know how to live with that trauma you once forgot and are now confronted with? I..." she lost her footing with her words once more before going on.
"I can help you," she said, looking down and away from him with her face on his chest, hearing his heart beating and feeling his warmth.
How had she gotten here? Masumi wondered. There was nothing stopping her from releasing from the embrace she had initiated and part of her begged to do so, to withdraw, to go into hiding. But a new voice spoke in her mind, telling her to stay. For him and in some ways, for her.
A little surprised at her sudden closeness, Takumi was not sure how to respond. Her pink hair was the only thing that he could see, but her words were understandable, if a bit jumbled. Taking a moment to sort out her utterances as well as his own emotions, the Minkan smiled once again. His heart found a normal rhythm once again before he finally replied.
“It will take some time, but yes, I would like that…” The words seemed to come naturally, even though they were difficult to relay. “Thank you… Thank you for being here with me. I… I don’t know what I would have done alone.”
Her warmth was comforting, to say the least. He wasn’t sure if they were still holding hands at this point, but his grip would become gentle while the tension bled away from his core. Fortunately, the datapad was hooked to his belt, so it wouldn’t have gone far after falling from his grip.
During their close encounter, a thought came to Takumi’s mind unbidden. Suddenly feeling very selfish, he cleared his throat gently before continuing, “I must apologize, Oshiro-Hei… I… You have had pain and trauma as well. I would like to help with that as well, if I can… if only as someone to talk to.” His chest would rise against her cheek with every breath, and he curiously wondered what she must have been thinking at this moment.
Masumi shook her head, "This isn't about me." She brought herself a little further away from him so that she could look into his silver eyes and smiled faintly, saying, "I don't want to compare a small shimmer of sadness that is what I have carried with me to the bright, enraged sun that is what happened to you. I wouldn't compare a day with a spot of rain to a day when snow buries homes. I cannot do that. No, this is about you and I'm here for you right now. Letting me..."
Masumi lost her words, her impetus, her drive to tell him what else she thought, but prevailed. "I am selfish to think that letting you be helped by me helps me, too. What's more..." she, again, trailed off and, again, found her wording moments later. "Letting me in now means when I need it, I'll be able to let you in, too."
Takumi’s face flushed a little at her words. Perhaps she was wiser than he had first thought? Releasing her hands, his own found her shoulders gently as he smiled at her. Those deep blue orbs on her pretty face couldn’t lie to him. “I wouldn’t call you selfish at all,” he said, trying to find his own words as well. “Forgive me for being cautious with a stranger… but you’ve already seen my darkest secret laid bare.”
He trailed off while watching her. They were like two broken toys trying to fix one another, it seemed. Takumi didn’t exactly feel broken, but this traumatic event would be difficult to digest. However, one thing that he was sure of… “The past is behind us, and now there is only the future.” Unsure of where that saying came from, he nonetheless continued. “I guess… learning from things that happen to us is how we get past them. I would be honored if you would help me do so.” The sincerity of his words was hopefully obvious, if not in his voice than in his eyes.
"I will," Masumi replied simply.