Approved Character Miyazawa, Konoka

Here's the link:

https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=ch ... a_miyazawa

Other then a few spelling and wiki format corrections, this character seems pretty well-made. ^^ To fix the wiki-stuff, just type \\ at the end of each line. The inventory is the major concern there. I'll let Doshii and others help you with the character itself since I'm a little tired and probably won't be able to give a good review of her. Good luck! :mrgreen:

The character looks pretty interesting to me, you have a few minor sentence errors, but I can't say anything too much about that (hehe, I mess up all the time). :3

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1. No secrets in the bio. What are her measurements?

2. *eyes bleed at the personality description* Middle schooler seems right. But beside that, how is she spazzy while always being calm and zen? How can she be emotional yet always remain very zen?

3. I hope you're not a fan of Negima!, as this character sounds a bit like Konoka Konoe. In fact, I would argue she sounds a bit too much like Konoe — not entirely in looks, but definitely in character.

4. OK. Can this character kill? I mean, really kill? At all? How well did she perform in combat training? Why is she a part of the Star Army of Yamatai when all they do is kill? Is she completely blind to the horrors of war just yet?

Overall: I'm hesitant to approve this character. It does sound quite a bit like the Negima character. Outside of that, she's a somewhat generic character, and written well enough.

This character is in progress. The submitter needs to address the list of edits above and reply to the thread.

This character has been edited. Hmmm...come to think of it, I must be doing too many negima rpgs. I sort of generally create a very Konoe-ish character type these days. Wonder what I'll do about that in the future?

With any luck, you'll play someone who's not Konoe-ish.

Also. I hope you're not lying about your age.

The rest of the edits seem good for a first character. She looks like she'll be fun for any plot that has her!

This character is approved for IC usage. File orders here and await to be put onto a plot.

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