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Abandoned Submission [Nepleslia] Ailceimy

This suggestion has been closed. Votes are no longer accepted.
The article references seeds of the spirit but doesn't link to it.
 
This review is for: Ailceimy

The submitted article is/has…
[Check] A very high level of overall quality
[Check] A general topic sentence under the title header
[n/a] Artwork (Required for new species; Strongly recommended for vehicles and hand weapons)\\
[Check] Needed and/or useful to the setting
[Check] In the proper format/template
[Check] Proofread for spelling and grammar
[Check] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[Check] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[Check] No red and/or broken links
[Check]Reasonably scientifically plausible
[Check]Reasonably neutral point of view

The submitted article is/does not…
[Possibly ] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[Check] Obtusely redundant
[Check] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[Unknown ] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[Check] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[Check] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[Check] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[Check] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[Check] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[Check] Lacking Detail
[Check] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)

The article has…
[n/a] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[n/a] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[n/a] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[n/a] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.


Summary
Possibly not FM approved
**I'm unaware of whether or not @Legix approves of the subfaction as a whole and I don't feel comfortable approving this till he weighs in on it.
Possibly overpowered
**There is explicitly no upper limit on what can be done with these, and on a balance level alone that worries me a lot. There's no telling what could be done, and that means the potentially anything can be done.


Status: Pending

I intend to finish this review by: as soon as all issues are addressed.
 
I want an upper limit discussed/brought to the table; it's currently far too vague and open for something that manipulates the world around people.

If that can be done, then this is FM approved. If not, then I'll reject this as an FM; I do not want things that are vague and will likely need reworking down the road. We have enough things we need to clarify and bring into better understand/light in Nepleslia as is.
 
@Legix, Similar to Athru, it looks like Ailceimy is more of a fluff article about the technology than a technology itself. Do you have any objections to the fluff bit of it now that we could look at?

Also @Ethereal I think you should add a 4 ='s header for History in the About section. That's a fairly standard thing across all of the SARP articles and it should help flesh this out. Similarly, I think approval of this should wait until you have some of the actual technology (Seeds of the spirit) approved.
 
Ailceimy doesn't appear to be a fluff article at all; it's very much a highlight of a capability to the species; that's why I mentioned before that I want the discussion to happen between @Alex Hart (the mod who took this) and @Ethereal - so that we could get what is very much a capability and power ironed into something that makes sense and has limits.

Fluff doesn't have mechanical use like this ability.
 
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