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[Nepleslia] P7 Pamphlet

Kokuten

Kokuten

The Pixel Knight
Inactive Member
Wiki Link

I wrote this a while back in an OOC thread to kind of help settle a dispute over the manner of two Nepleslian's fighting one another. I can't quite remember how long ago it was, but in truth, I would like to get a second opinion. I'd like it to be a sort of Imperial Guardsman's Uplifting Primer, a kind of book that paints Nepleslia for any eye to see. Marines are issued it so they know 'proper' Nepleslian behavior.

I've noticed Nepleslia become a little more serious bit-by-bit as they years go by. So, I'd like something that not only emphasizes the rambunctiousness of Nepleslia, but the darker and seedy nature that leads it to be considered a somewhat scum-riddled nation. ICly, this could be viewed as a way to indoctrinate or introduce the ideals of Nepleslian rabble-rousery to the foreign soldiers or younger people growing up in a safer age. This could also be assigned to foreign dignitaries and representatives of other nations to help them understand this united, yet violent people.

Thoughts? I'll take any comments, and maybe additions, like, turning it into a real IGUP.

Warning: A spot of foulness here and there below.

Premier Pyros' Pro-Tips to Plucky Pugilism and Proper Punching
A Guide for the Nepleslian Uninclined in the Matter of Gentlemanly Scraps

Here below are some gentlemanly guidelines in the matters of fighting people in Nepleslia. Fighting is a matter of honor, dignity, and entertainment. As such, none of you have any honor, dignity, and a sense of pizazz for entertainment. So, Uncle Premier here is going to provide you with some tips so you'll be an all around better person*.

*In Nepleslia

Pro-Tip #1: Make it clear that you wish to engage in a fight, e.g: Punching him in the face, screaming(drunken or sober), tagging his car, banging his girlfriend, or any other offense that Nepleslians would be forced to challenge you to a fight for.
  • Sub-Tip: You can always just say you want to fight them, too, but youngsters have no class for entertainment these days anyways.
Pro-Tip #2: Weapons are for babies, use your fists, unless guns or knives have been drawn before hand.
  • Sub-Tip: If weapons have been drawn, and you feel like being a little punk and stabbing him before he's ready, then he's got the right to brain you with any blunt object he can get his now bleeding hands on.
Pro-Tip #3: Fight drunk, if possible. When intoxicated, you're less likely to feel pain, and you're more likely to take helpful risks.
  • Sub-Tip: It will also be hillarious.
Pro-Tip #4: Don't cause property damage, not too much of it, anyways. Store owners tend to get fed up with honor pretty quick when it's costing them money.
  • Sub-Tip: Unless you're rich, then make sure to at least compensate your host.
Pro-Tip #5: Incite your enemy. Nothing makes a fight better than passion. People don't want to watch you slog it out like a bunch of kids, they got enough of that when they were kids. Nepleslian's fight with vim, vigor, and pizazz. If you piss off the other guy, he's more likely to entertain the crowd as he bumbles back at you. If you piss him off in creative ways, you've entertained the crowd already.
  • Sub-Tip: Your enemy is also prone to mistakes when angry.
Pro-Tip #6: Do not kill your enemy.
  • Sub-Tip: Unless he has it coming.
Pro-Tip #7: Know when the fight's over. We've all been there. Drunken rage. You're commanding an assault on a whole god damn planet the next morning. You're stressed because your XO tells you proper supplies won't be available until Tuesday. To top it all off, you're completely sober through its entirety. This is no reason to take it out on some P3C who thinks it's funny to challenge a Master General, and beat him long after he's lost consciousness.
  • Sub-Tip: There's my apology, you pompous pink-slip dealing wanks.
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Fund it.

We need to get some of that cheek and boyishness back into Nepleslia - we fight? We fight because, and the Premier tells us how its done.

I can imagine a silly video being produced with Pyros demonstrating each tip, live action with a second demonstrator becoming more and more concussed as the demonstrations continue.
 
I don't like the use of the word "pussies," as using women's body parts as insults contributes to sexism and this site is welcoming to players of all genders. Is there something else we can substitute, like "cowards?"

Also, remember that to be approved, submissions have to come in the form of wiki articles.
 
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