[Nepleslia] P7 Pamphlet

Premier Pyros' Pro-Tips to Plucky Pugilism and Proper Punching
A Guide for the Nepleslian Uninclined in the Matter of Gentlemanly Scraps

Here below are some gentlemanly guidelines in the matters of fighting people in Nepleslia. Fighting is a matter of honor, dignity, and entertainment. As such, none of you have any honor, dignity, and a sense of pizazz for entertainment. So, Uncle Premier here is going to provide you with some tips so you'll be an all around better person*.

*In Nepleslia

Pro-Tip #1: Make it clear that you wish to engage in a fight, e.g: Punching him in the face, screaming(drunken or sober), tagging his car, banging his girlfriend, or any other offense that Nepleslians would be forced to challenge you to a fight for.

• Sub-Tip: You can always just say you want to fight them, too, but youngsters have no class for entertainment these days anyways.

Pro-Tip #2: Weapons are for babies, use your fists, unless guns or knives have been drawn before hand.

• Sub-Tip: If weapons have been drawn, and you feel like being a little punk and stabbing him before he's ready, then he's got the right to brain you with any blunt object he can get his now bleeding hands on.

Pro-Tip #3: Fight drunk, if possible. When intoxicated, you're less likely to feel pain, and you're more likely to take helpful risks.

• Sub-Tip: It will also be hillarious.

Pro-Tip #4: Don't cause property damage, not too much of it, anyways. Store owners tend to get fed up with honor pretty quick when it's costing them money.

• Sub-Tip: Unless you're rich, then make sure to at least compensate your host.

Pro-Tip #5: Incite your enemy. Nothing makes a fight better than passion. People don't want to watch you slog it out like a bunch of kids, they got enough of that when they were kids. Nepleslian's fight with vim, vigor, and pizazz. If you piss off the other guy, he's more likely to entertain the crowd as he bumbles back at you. If you piss him off in creative ways, you've entertained the crowd already.

• Sub-Tip: Your enemy is also prone to mistakes when angry.

Pro-Tip #6: Do not kill your enemy.

• Sub-Tip: Unless he has it coming.

Pro-Tip #7: Know when the fight's over. We've all been there. Drunken rage. You're commanding an assault on a whole god damn planet the next morning. You're stressed because your XO tells you proper supplies won't be available until Tuesday. To top it all off, you're completely sober through its entirety. This is no reason to take it out on some P3C who thinks it's funny to challenge a Master General, and beat him long after he's lost consciousness.

• Sub-Tip: There's my apology, you pompous pink-slip dealing wanks.

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