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Nepleslian Marine CCG Pages

Sigma

Inactive Member
Submission Type: CCG update
Submission URL: Marine Skills
Nep Military Occupations

Faction: Nepleslia
FM Approved Yet? Yes. Yesterday when MoonMan made final edits

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? No
Previously Submitted?

Notes:

Oh where to start...
Skills
- Edited the 4 required skills so that they actually ARE what starter Marines should have.
- Expanded on what Basic Training is like
- Made it look a lot easier to read

Occupations
- Threw out the Medcanic skill/role/occupation cos it was stupid and no one liked it.

- Expanded the medical into Medic and Doctor so that there's two levels. Doctor is more advanced and takes longer to reach. Must be Medic before becoming Doctor.

- Added more details into what each Marine occupation performs and contributes to the war effort.

- Left the Navy skills alone since I don't think they need to be changed
 
I'd alter that medical system, to be honest. The two disciplines are very different, and don't necessarily connect directly. Remove the mention of a requirement of being a medic, and just require medical school to start with.
 
Sounds like a much-needed update.

These are the brave men, women, aliens, and machines who are sent into combat for the Democratic Imperium of Nepleslia. This is one of the easiest jobs in the military, and it is
Where's the end of this sentence?

Please remove the forced line breaks and use bullet lists instead (this is part of the wiki style guide).

There's an empty section between "Combat Roles" and "General Infantry" that needs a sentence or two of prose.

Shouldn't sniper be considered a combat role and not support?

There's an empty section under the header "NSN" that needs prose. This might be a good time to say what the acronym stands for since new people will be reading this.

The Starship Operator is put aboard a Star Army ship to single-handedly run it. Starship operators are used when transporting a new ship to a fleet, in situations when the crew is short, or to run the ship while the main crew is off duty.
Should be Star Navy. Note: these two sentences are copied from an older Star Army Yamatai page that I wrote.

Original Star Army Version said:
A starship operator might also be put aboard a Star Army ship to man it alone, when transporting a new ship to a fleet, in situations when the crew is short, or to run the ship while the main crew is off duty.

The skill description is also plagiarized:



Starship operation is in the Technology Operation skill area, not knowledge (which is "book smarts").

The Strategist is the line officer of the Star Army, a jack-of-all-trades whose job is to effectively run a starship or star fortress, and control any battles in progress. Generally, combat ship commanders and fleet commanders are strategists.
This should be Star Military, I think.

- - -

SKILL PAGE

The basic training information is a great addition.

Or how to understand and follow orders.
This is a very confusing way to start a paragraph. Please use complete sentences.

You guys spend a whole month on survival training? (whoa)

This paragraph is a little confusing because it uses "they" in addition to "he."

Have you considered making a separate page for each occupation/specialization and adding in-character examples from the RP?
 
I cannot edit the NSN without checking with MoonMan about what he wants. The goal was to update the Marine skills and occupations since those are the overwhelming majority of characters.

I think I've addressed all other issues, excepting the NSN occupations and skills. Addressing those may require a separate project since I would have to write up a similar skills and training page for sailors.
 
Okay, it looks all good now except for the missing NSN stuff.

Let me know when it's added.
 
Marine section APPROVED

Waiting on NSN stuff.
 
NSN pages done. Only listed Enlisted positions for starter characters since we really don't have any plots Navy-related except for Venus.

Skills and Training page will be worked at some point.
 
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