What's new
  • If you were supposed to get an email from the forum but didn't (e.g. to verify your account for registration), email Wes at [email protected] or talk to me on Discord for help. Sometimes the server hits our limit of emails we can send per hour.
  • Get in our Discord chat! Discord.gg/stararmy
  • 📅 May and June 2024 are YE 46.4 in the RP.

Approved Submission [neshaten] Mark 1 Chernoye'sora Flak Turret

Zain Snowpaw

Zain Snowpaw

Inactive Member
Submission Type: Neshaten Mark 1 Anti Fighter Ballistic Turret
Submission URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=ne ... turret_wip

Faction: Kingdom of Neshaten
FM Approved Yet? (Yes; Kyle, 05/11/13)
Faction requires art? (Yes)

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? (No)
Contains New art? (Yes. Though I'm still part way through texturing it.)
Previously Submitted? (No)

Notes:
The Chernoye'sora is a general purpose anti-fighter and anti-mecha weapon. It is mostly used in close distance combat and due to the area of effect of the fragmentation ammunition it can be very deadly in it's role. The Chernoye'sora is more likely to be installed on crafts that are more likely to engage in atmospheric combat whereas for most spacebound ships are more likely to have the longer range, and slower fire rate, 'Rok'truvance' turrets mounted.
 
Upvote 0 Downvote
This suggestion has been implemented. Votes are no longer accepted.
Missing a general topic sentence that includes the date introduced.
Missing the velocity for rounds.
How many rounds does a turret have?
No mention of the targeting system, nor the control mechanism.
 
Okay, you are still missing a general topic sentence. It should be a one or two line sentence that says briefly what the item is and when it became available. The big block of text you have at the top should be put under the heading of About the Mark 1 Chernoye'sora Flak Turret. Also, you should have a textual description of the appearance in addition to the art. The text you have under the image should be moved in the About section.
 
Third time lucky I hope. Not sure if the appearance description is sufficient but I couldn't think of anything else to say about it's appearance. Thanks for your time Nash.
 
RPG-D RPGfix
Back
Top