Approved Character Nevsa Remore [Iroma] {Bahram}

[SSharp]

Nevsa is a female Iroma intended for the Bahram Wing plot.

Take aim and fire!

 

[Wes]

Not to be rude, but I thought you were on hiatus or something?

 

[SSharp]

'Was'.

I've been back for several days now. I'm back to being involved in all of my plots and I think my schedule is open enough for another.

 

[Nashoba]

Overall this character looks pretty solid.

I would like Exhack to give his nod.

 

[Exhack]

Character looks decent on the whole, and I'm actually willing to approve it on the spot, but there's just one little thing itching me.

Build and Skin Color: A Hlaraian by birth, Nevsa is contained in a small, compact frame. She has flesh-colored skin.

I get where this statement is going, but it actually sounds just a bit off. It could easily be interpreted as "Nevsa is actually trapped inside of the small, compact frame for a shelf." or something like that.

Could I have a different wording for it?

Otherwise, great character on the whole. A little sparse, but charming in how it actually explains everything it needs to without spoiling us on details.

 

[SSharp]

Hlaraian by birth, Nevsa has the typical flesh-colored skin of her race. She also has the typical small frame of a physically fit young woman.

I actually found rewording that far more difficult than it should have been... But is the current version (above quote) acceptable?

 

[Exhack]

Character approved!