Voice and themes, eh? ^^;
1) ..plump cheeks? How can he have plump cheeks with a muscular build, flat nose, and a defined jaw? Do you mean 'wide cheekbones' or something? To me, plump = fat.
2) Why does he have only sideburns.. and almost no hair? How thick are these sideburns?
3) There is a tiny format issue with the Likes and Dislikes sections.
4) In the brother's history,
protégée is not the same as
protégé. Hilariously so, in fact. Why did he idolize his brother for standing up to his father? "His Bro" or "Gordon", not just "Bro".
5) In the Father's history, it should be "he had to learn everything" or "he learned everything".
6) What's a Geisha?
7) In the Pre-RP history, the first sentence is incomplete. How did boot camp life treat him? I'm sure that he was teased a lot for not receiving his cybernetics through battle, both in boot camp and high school.
8) In the Medical skill, replace army with Marine Corp.
9) Leadership is not a skill that we usually allow a new player to have. Besides, you misspelled steering and forgot 'to' in-between 'talking' and 'conscious'.
10) The Inventory title is duplicated.
11) His salary is 50 DA a week.
Overall: No offense, but his guy looks comical more then anything, it seems. I'd just probably offer him a shotgun to end it all if I saw someone that ugly.. It is pretty decent, though, so just fix these and it should be good.
Character approval pending on the correction/adequate answering to above problems.
