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  • 📅 July 2024 is YE 46.5 in the RP.

New player with new character

Hi Demi,

Welceom to the SARP. I am one of the character reviewers, so I will make a first review of your character.

Overall a very good first try. :) I added a few wiki links for you at the top of the doc.

In the characteristics, you have
complextion is misspelled twice, should be complexion.

Also his facial feature is rather vague.
Mikael has brown eyes, his facial features are those common to someone of his skin complextion on Nepleslia, though his eyes are more narrow then most others.
Click to expand...

In psych area.
Several typos
distiant should be distant
Neplesians should be Nepleslians

In the history,
Nepleisan should be Nepleslian (2 places)

A couple of grammar things.
work force as an laborer should be work force as a laborer
Nepleisan military wanted to part of him due should be Nepleisan military wanted no part of him due

Skill area
Need to fix several cut and paste errors. Your character , She is skilled

Fixed the items I've mentioned and then update this forum, for a re-review.

This character is pending approval for IC usage.
 
I made the corrections and changed a few things I thought sounded better. I have a bad tendency to think one thing and type something completely wrong (and think I typed it right), lol. To be honest, I am not really sure what what Nepleslians look like. I'm kinda going for the Rico from Killzone look going.
 
Hi Demibear,
Actually the link at the top of the character page takes you to the Nepleslians are your basic human stock, so they can look pretty much like normal folks.
As for Rico, you could say he has very strong features, with prominent cheek bones, and a pronounced forehead. You can make that change when you can.

Since there are no major items, you are good to go. I see you have already created a player page, and your contact data, so there is just one more step.

You now need to go to this forum and request orders:
Requests for Orders

Welcome to SARP, hope to see you around.

This character is approved for IC usage.
 
Thank you so much for that. Describing things was never really one of my strong suits. I'd like one of those sketch artists Dave Cheppelle talks about, lol. But thank you once again.
 
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