humansrpepul2
Inactive Member
Star Army
Star ArmyⓇ is a landmark of forum roleplaying. Opened in 2002, Star Army is like an internet clubhouse for people who love roleplaying, art, and worldbuilding. Anyone 18 or older may join for free. New members are welcome! Use the "Register" button below.
Note: This is a play-by-post RPG site. If you're looking for the tabletop miniatures wargame "5150: Star Army" instead, see Two Hour Wargames.
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Approved Character <- Newb up for review
- Thread starter humansrpepul2
- Start date
Hello, I am Nashoba, one of the site admins. Welcome to SARP. 
I fixed a few typos, and added some wiki links for you.
Just for the record you do not put a , in Japanese names. So I removed them.
Skills, unless you planning on taking Airo into Fort Ready, you need to flesh out the mandatory skills some. Specifically your fighting skill
Writing your skills
The average height for Geshrin and Yamataians is 6'1 so his 5'11 is not really taller than his peers.
History is a little sparce, he's 20 years old, so that means he was Born a Geshrin and upgraded to the Yamataian form some time in the last four years. What made him change? Joining the military? etc. He was five when he moved into the orphanage, what was his relation ship like with the Nekovalkyrja? Did he see them as mothers? Was he close to them.
Also you need to clean up the inventory, and remove items that do not apply to a male. Such as:
* 4 additional black sport bras/swimsuit top (FEMALE ONLY)
* 4 black cotton briefs (MALE ONLY) OR 4 black panty (FEMALE ONLY)
And the Officer detail.
Overall a very good first attempt.
I fixed a few typos, and added some wiki links for you.
Just for the record you do not put a , in Japanese names. So I removed them.
Skills, unless you planning on taking Airo into Fort Ready, you need to flesh out the mandatory skills some. Specifically your fighting skill
Writing your skills
The average height for Geshrin and Yamataians is 6'1 so his 5'11 is not really taller than his peers.
History is a little sparce, he's 20 years old, so that means he was Born a Geshrin and upgraded to the Yamataian form some time in the last four years. What made him change? Joining the military? etc. He was five when he moved into the orphanage, what was his relation ship like with the Nekovalkyrja? Did he see them as mothers? Was he close to them.
Also you need to clean up the inventory, and remove items that do not apply to a male. Such as:
* 4 additional black sport bras/swimsuit top (FEMALE ONLY)
* 4 black cotton briefs (MALE ONLY) OR 4 black panty (FEMALE ONLY)
And the Officer detail.
Overall a very good first attempt.
humansrpepul2
Inactive Member
...maybe I shoulda added that he cross-dresses? j/k and fixing.Read for power armor you had to be under 5'7", so assumed most were shorter, but forgot that was a neko thing.
Definitely plan on attending Fort Ready.
Edit: Fix'd. Ready for shot number 2. I think I still need work on the required Star Army skills but I can learn those at Fort Ready? What exactly is it?
There are power armors that can be worn by taller troops, so it will be a matter for your commander to assign you to one that your character will fit.
You need to create a User Page, by clicking the link on your character sheet. The user page is typically a basic who I am page.
Next you need to apply for orders here Request for Orders
Approved.
You need to create a User Page, by clicking the link on your character sheet. The user page is typically a basic who I am page.
Next you need to apply for orders here Request for Orders
Approved.
Aendri
Inactive Member
Actually, Orders Posted.
