By Hugh Dickson
Science Reporter, Nepleslia Prime News
Yamatai continues to demonstrate a flawless humanitarian record and reasonable doctrinal consistency in the face of flaccid resistance by the ineffective and mostly banner-waving 'terrorist' group known as the Independant Worlds' League.
In a recent broadcast, Yamataian officials demonstrated remarkable dedication to the humanitarian ideals espoused by military dove Yui 'Save the Freespacers' Ketsurui, treating captured combatants with all the dignity that their military laws mandate. NPN was not able to obtain an official statement from SANDRA about why exactly they've become so miserably soft after having their homeworld bombarded once, although a press leak from a fictional source confirms this is because the empire which has repeatedly committed genocide of entire races and stood by as the Lorath homeworld was ecologically ruined for an entire new geological era by a moon impact has turned over a new leaf, spontaneously convincing the entire galaxy of their righteousness.
After a pair of prisoners spontaneously developed enormous, life-threatening brain lesions, Yamataian medical crew (who are ostensibly in charge of prisoners of war) performed emergency trepanations to drain out fluids and expose the legions to their one true enemy- oil fires. Using lifesaving lesion-melting-but-not-somehow-the-rest-of-the-body fire therapy on the patients, the two IWL operatives were tossed into the sea to douse them and expose them to the helpful amoeba located in the ocean waters of Ahrbeg.
They later died of complications.
Nepleslian medical authorities, as confirmed by NPN's own resident medical columnist Dirk Piven, are still studying the sophisticated techniques demonstrated by the technologically, morally and culturally-superior Empire-Which-Rules-All-The-Cosmos for cues on how to improve our own oily, masculine and crude surgical techniques.
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Science Reporter, Nepleslia Prime News
Yamatai continues to demonstrate a flawless humanitarian record and reasonable doctrinal consistency in the face of flaccid resistance by the ineffective and mostly banner-waving 'terrorist' group known as the Independant Worlds' League.
In a recent broadcast, Yamataian officials demonstrated remarkable dedication to the humanitarian ideals espoused by military dove Yui 'Save the Freespacers' Ketsurui, treating captured combatants with all the dignity that their military laws mandate. NPN was not able to obtain an official statement from SANDRA about why exactly they've become so miserably soft after having their homeworld bombarded once, although a press leak from a fictional source confirms this is because the empire which has repeatedly committed genocide of entire races and stood by as the Lorath homeworld was ecologically ruined for an entire new geological era by a moon impact has turned over a new leaf, spontaneously convincing the entire galaxy of their righteousness.
After a pair of prisoners spontaneously developed enormous, life-threatening brain lesions, Yamataian medical crew (who are ostensibly in charge of prisoners of war) performed emergency trepanations to drain out fluids and expose the legions to their one true enemy- oil fires. Using lifesaving lesion-melting-but-not-somehow-the-rest-of-the-body fire therapy on the patients, the two IWL operatives were tossed into the sea to douse them and expose them to the helpful amoeba located in the ocean waters of Ahrbeg.
They later died of complications.
Nepleslian medical authorities, as confirmed by NPN's own resident medical columnist Dirk Piven, are still studying the sophisticated techniques demonstrated by the technologically, morally and culturally-superior Empire-Which-Rules-All-The-Cosmos for cues on how to improve our own oily, masculine and crude surgical techniques.
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