[Origin] Asura and Kirin

This review is for: OI-M1-2A Enhanced Ashigaru "Kirin"

The submitted article is/has…
[x] A general topic sentence under the title header
[x] Artwork (illustrations are strongly encouraged for all spacecraft and handheld items)
[x] Needed and/or useful to the setting
[x] In the proper format/template
[-] Proofread for spelling and grammar
[x] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[x] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[x] No red and/or broken links
[x] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[x] Reasonably neutral point of view

The submitted article is/does not…
[x] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[x] Obtusely redundant
[x] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[x] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[x] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[x] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[x] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[x] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[x] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[x] Lacking Detail
[x] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)

The article has…
[x] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[x] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[x] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[x] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.


Summary
Note here if any serious issues are present. These are the issues that will hold up approval.
** Short description of the issue. If a longer explanation is needed, put it in Notes.

Status: Approved

Notes
This field is for any extra description needed for the issues stated above or (as the name suggests) and additional notes you wish to state in the record regarding the item.

Edited and fixed the Grammar problems(I hope)

Admin note: Copy-pasta descriptions are not permitted in wiki articles.

If something uses almost 60% of the same internal systems as something it was based off of, like the Ashigaru and the Kirin/Asura, then the copypasta is simply bringing over the system from its predecessor.

It'd be like if we had to write up the M1 Abrams, then someone wrote up the M1A2, would you just leave out the systems the M1A2 shares with the M1A1?

You should be submitting individual systems as separate pages so they can be reused without copy/paste.

Well, seeing how these are variants of the normal Ashigaru, just listing the differences would work and making a note about the similarities as a link to the original article.

I'm being thorough and complete.

When this is approved, i'll get around to writing up articles for standard systems for Origin Frames.

Fiver said:

It'd be like if we had to write up the M1 Abrams, then someone wrote up the M1A2, would you just leave out the systems the M1A2 shares with the M1A1?

Click to expand...

Actually the rule is yes

Examples: Mindy 2-3A
Mindy M2-3A Power Armor

And the Henkei-Class has four variants, and each of those have only the differences listed.
Henkei Class

You have two options, a) remove the duplicate sections and state that except where indicated its the same as the Asura, or b) Remove the text from the duplicate systems, and put something along these lines The Kirin uses the same hull construction as the Asura and make that a link to the hull section on the Asura, and then leave only those items that are truly different.

I have gotten rid of the copypasta and edited away the grammatical errors.

Now that the copy pasta issue is resolved.

Approved.