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[Origin] Courier 2
- Thread starter Kai
- Start date
Gamerofthegame
Inactive Member
As just a person...
As you probably know, this ship is a tentative plot ship.
With this in mind, are you happy with it?
As you probably know, this ship is a tentative plot ship.
With this in mind, are you happy with it?
This review is for: Courier 2A
The submitted article is/has…
[X] A general topic sentence under the title header
[X] Artwork (illustrations are strongly encouraged for all spacecraft and handheld items)
[X] Needed and/or useful to the setting
[X] In the proper format/template
[ ] Proofread for spelling and grammar
[X] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[ ] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[X] No red and/or broken links
[X] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[X] Reasonably neutral point of view
The submitted article is/does not…
[X] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[X] Obtusely redundant
[ ] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[X] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[X] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[X] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[X] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[ ] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[X] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[ ] Lacking Detail
[X] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)
The article has…
[X] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[?] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[ ] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[X] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.
Summary
I intend to finish this review by: NOV 15, 2009
The submitted article is/has…
[X] A general topic sentence under the title header
[X] Artwork (illustrations are strongly encouraged for all spacecraft and handheld items)
[X] Needed and/or useful to the setting
[X] In the proper format/template
[ ] Proofread for spelling and grammar
[X] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[ ] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[X] No red and/or broken links
[X] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[X] Reasonably neutral point of view
The submitted article is/does not…
[X] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[X] Obtusely redundant
[ ] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[X] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[X] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[X] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[X] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[ ] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[X] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[ ] Lacking Detail
[X] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)
The article has…
[X] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[?] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[ ] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[X] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.
Summary
I intend to finish this review by: NOV 15, 2009
How did you calculate these numbers?
Need linkage, capitalization
This isn't an sentence.
EVA suits should be linked.
What's this (20) mean?
Fire Suppression system should be linked.
Should be a lower-case n. Damage ratings don't apply to shields (Shields are SP); this also contradicts the ship's stats, which say it has shields.
A
Anonymous
Wes, Kai means that there are 20 Courier 2s in use by Origin Industries.
on the DR values, I simply took the DR of the old version and, figuring this was slightly bigger, added one.
Courier 1 stats
Fixed the designer and manufacturer.
Fixed the bathroom sentence.
Reformatted and added to some subsections.
I don't have a link to Fire suppression systems, so I expanded the sentence to explain the system better.
the (20) does indeed mean that Origin operates 20 of these ships.
Expanded on the shields to justify the rating.
I linked to the Dusk EVA suit for now, stating it is a suit similar to that. I will change the link after I've made proper EVA suits for Origin.
Courier 1 stats
Fixed the designer and manufacturer.
Fixed the bathroom sentence.
Reformatted and added to some subsections.
I don't have a link to Fire suppression systems, so I expanded the sentence to explain the system better.
the (20) does indeed mean that Origin operates 20 of these ships.
Expanded on the shields to justify the rating.
I linked to the Dusk EVA suit for now, stating it is a suit similar to that. I will change the link after I've made proper EVA suits for Origin.
A
Anonymous
Replaced the dusk suits with an Origin made stopgap
A
Anonymous
Since Kai has fixed all of the problems pointed out in Wes' review, shouldn't this submission, in theory, be complete?
Abwehran Commander
Inactive Member
It's past the 15th and still no review completion. Just a friendly little reminder.
A
Anonymous
Changed, Done, Complete.
