Izokia78
Active Member
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=ch ... _tur_lista
Preferred plot GM: Ira
Hope you guys like it.
Preferred plot GM: Ira
Hope you guys like it.
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Approved Character Pilot Mnamon 'Luxe' Tur'Lista for the Isc Chimera
- Thread starter Izokia78
- Start date
DocTomoe
Inactive Member
Re: Deserter Mnamon 'Luxe' Tur'Lista for the Isc Chimera
Alright~ Let's take a look.
1: Name - Tur'listia is reserved for royalty, all royalty are accounted for. New Tur'listia may be what you were aiming for, which are those which were of the Occhestian caste, but remained loyal to the Matriarchy after the Occhestian rebellion.
2: Eyes - Those would have to be surgically altered eyes to have that coloration.
3: Ears - New Tur'listians / Occhestians have a human-like ear, yet, they do not have lobes that are seperate from the jaw, so note that the ears are typical of the Occhestian.
4: Distinguishing features, she needs some.
5: History - Why did she grow up privileged? What made her take such a lax approach to her schooling? Why is she so rebellious? What contributed to her overall behaviors?
Furthermore, the history does seem a tad thread-bare. There is not even a family listed, perhaps more on them?
6: Leadership skill - So... is she a good leader or a bad leader? What I'm seeing there kind of conflicts between her being competent and incompetent as a leadership figure.
Fix up those things, and if anything else does catch my eye, I'll be sure to let you know. Don't hesitate to ask around for help as well.
Alright~ Let's take a look.
1: Name - Tur'listia is reserved for royalty, all royalty are accounted for. New Tur'listia may be what you were aiming for, which are those which were of the Occhestian caste, but remained loyal to the Matriarchy after the Occhestian rebellion.
2: Eyes - Those would have to be surgically altered eyes to have that coloration.
3: Ears - New Tur'listians / Occhestians have a human-like ear, yet, they do not have lobes that are seperate from the jaw, so note that the ears are typical of the Occhestian.
4: Distinguishing features, she needs some.
5: History - Why did she grow up privileged? What made her take such a lax approach to her schooling? Why is she so rebellious? What contributed to her overall behaviors?
Furthermore, the history does seem a tad thread-bare. There is not even a family listed, perhaps more on them?
6: Leadership skill - So... is she a good leader or a bad leader? What I'm seeing there kind of conflicts between her being competent and incompetent as a leadership figure.
Fix up those things, and if anything else does catch my eye, I'll be sure to let you know. Don't hesitate to ask around for help as well.
The GM approves, thus it is good to go.
