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Approved Character Samael Demos (Scythe)

I'm glad to see you're joining us. Right now though, I'm not ready to dive into the history in-detail until tomorrow, but I can give feedback on the other aspects. I suggest dividing the history into sub-sections. One for his parents' history, and one for his own to make it easier to read and to keep it more organized. That aside, I note that you'll have to change the character's current occupation to Ex-SAoY or something else, since in IC-present, we've yet to finish establishing the faction and because we'll be operating as a Suzerainty in the future.
 
Alright, the profile is looking good overall, but I still recommend dividing the history into sub-sections for easier reading since so much of it is about his mother, rather than just himself. Aside from that, it's up to @FrostJaeger to give his final stamp of approval.
 
@ArsenicJohn Here's the (belated, and sorry about that) review I promised for Samael Demos:

  • General: Would you mind adding more links to other articles, please?
  • Personality: Likes, dislikes, and goals are by no means a complete description of one's nature or disposition. Would you mind adding a short paragraph or two (three to five sentences each) in order to address this, please?
  • History: I'm fairly sure that "Kari and her friends" wouldn't have survived such a protest - not when they would've been immediately killed by the surviving guard(s) at whatever outpost (on the Yamatai-Elysia border, if such a thing actually existed) they were protesting at. Additionally, why would the Yamataian guards have let civilians - especially armed civilians - within shooting distance of a member of the species responsible for slaughtering twenty billion individuals?
  • Social Connections: Would you mind adding a bit more detail to this section, please? For instance:
    • How old are Michael, Kronos, Esther, and Semyaza? What are/were Samael's relationships with them?
    • Who are the friends mentioned at the end of this section?
  • Inventory & Finance: Samael cannot afford his current inventory, as it would put him over 14,000 DA in debt.

Once the above issues are resolved, I'll be happy to approve Samael Demos for usage in roleplaying. :)
 
Gah, I keep forgetting skills. I'll expand on the things you mentioned and add more links.

As for the history issue, would it work if I say they sneaked past the guards? Also is it possible they knew she was a singer and tried to ransom her back to Yamatai?

I will take some things off of his inventory to fit his 6k budget.
 
The problem with what you propose, @ArsenicJohn, is that the "soldiers" they would've had to sneak past would've been Seraphs, which (despite their non-canon portrayal by @Zack in 188604; Seraphs have not, are not, and will not be(en) able to be hacked by any means due to their organic nature, nor do they suffer from "stormtrooper aim") means that they would've been detected - and eliminated, as they would've been deemed a "threat" by said Seraphs due to being Yamataians - long before they reached any Elysian settlement/facility/etc.
 
Do you have any suggestions for how I can fix it without having to rewrite the whole history? o.x
The only thing that really needs to happen is Kari being taken to Elysia. Maybe she could have been in Hell performing when the Elysians invaded?
 
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Think that is everything. The friends mentioned aren't important so I just removed that part.
 
Quick thing, I thought the piloting skill was for star fighters, not starship ops o.o


This may also be my midnight brain acting up *shrug*
 
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