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SaOY Weather Sensors

P

phacon

Inactive Member
Ok, I know this is premature cause I am not completely done yet; however, I been a little writer block on the General Information sections, so I thought I would

This is for the Wes's tech challenge
I already recieved CadetNewbs input.
http://piratepad.net/2G3jaJ1Zd2
Anything else you guys could add would be most appreciated:
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=stararmy:yam_weather_sensor
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=stararmy:kzge032
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=stararmy:kzme032
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=stararmy:kzke032
*Edit*:Updated url
 
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Have you contacted the people in charge of Origin and KFY about this, namely, Wes and I? It's generally considered rude to make something using a faction/group without asking the permission of the FM of said group.

In any case, from what I can tell, these are mostly miniaturized versions of modern technology, so there really isn't anything wrong with the tech per se. Just make sure you detail the uses and how they are mounted/worn and whatnot.

Another comment I have is that KFY probably would not make these items as separate items, perhaps as part of a Powered Armor, but not as standalones.

However, Origin would. If you ask.
 
Bit of a shameless plug there, Kai, even for Origin. :p

Although, for some reason wheather and forcast sensors that can be deployed on buildings are actually on the list of tech challenges last I checked. Did you read that bit too Phacon, or was this just another case of parallel thought?
 
kai said:
Have you contacted the people in charge of Origin and KFY about this, namely, Wes and I? It's generally considered rude to make something using a faction/group without asking the permission of the FM of said group.
....
However, Origin would. If you ask.
Click to expand...

Well no... I was thinking that you and Wes would simply accept it as a gift of trying to build better relationship with eachother. -_-

*cough* Sorry Kai *cough*

So um... Wes, Uso, Nashoba and Kai, I was making SaOY weather sensor produced by the SSS.
While I know I got your permission in IRC private chat, Nashoba you don't mind if the SSS is the Prototype Designer do you?

Also... ano... Wes and Kai, I kind of still need a manufacturer, so you would mind allowing the KFY and Origin to manufacture it?
I can accept any conditions you guys have, you could even use as civilian tech submission if you wish. When I am done of course >_<;;;;
_________________________________________________________
Jimmy said:
Bit of a shameless plug there, Kai, even for Origin. :p

Although, for some reason wheather and forcast sensors that can be deployed on buildings are actually on the list of tech challenges last I checked. Did you read that bit too Phacon, or was this just another case of parallel thought?
Click to expand...
Yep, I got the idea from the tech challenge page.
 
Same questions as above to Wes and Kai

In addition though, I finished all I could think of for the PAWS-Pack and HOWLS. Therefor, I am really looking for you guys for comments and feedback on the articles.

What do you think?
 
Before I even consider reviewing this page, let me lay down some basic things.

1. Move the SAoY Weather sensor page to a page that doesn't say 'SARP Weather Sensor'. SARP is a strictly OOC term, so the page address simply cannot remain that.

2. Most, if not all of the articles are missing a first line summary, or even sections describing operation and design history.

3. Do not put OOC notes and random question marks into public, IC wiki pages, especially not one of this size where it doesn't actually make any sense to explain the context of the design.

4. Haulible is not a word. Neither is Haul-able, or Carryible/Carryable. The proper term is 'Portable'.

5. Explain the terms you use better. We're not all physics or meteorology majors. We need a context in a reasonably in-depth manner using 'simple' language. Not that you can't explain in detail, but try to give a decent explanation of most terms that aren't in the purview of the common site member.

6. You don't need to change font colors or use 'J-appropriated' language such as "...ano..." in the tech forum. This is a forum for peer review and discussion, so adding in that you feel mildly uncertain or words escaped you for a few seconds and you needed filler is irrelevant.

I will review these articles properly tomorrow.
 
FYI, I have no problem with the SSS being referred to by these items. :)
 
Like I said before, this is something Origin would definitely make.

My big beef was that you had posted these things without getting my permission to use Origin.
 
Exhack said:
Before I even consider reviewing this page, let me lay down some basic things.

1. Move the SAoY Weather sensor page to a page that doesn't say 'SARP Weather Sensor'. SARP is a strictly OOC term, so the page address simply cannot remain that.

2. Most, if not all of the articles are missing a first line summary, or even sections describing operation and design history.

3. Do not put OOC notes and random question marks into public, IC wiki pages, especially not one of this size where it doesn't actually make any sense to explain the context of the design.

4. Haulible is not a word. Neither is Haul-able, or Carryible/Carryable. The proper term is 'Portable'.

5. Explain the terms you use better. We're not all physics or meteorology majors. We need a context in a reasonably in-depth manner using 'simple' language. Not that you can't explain in detail, but try to give a decent explanation of most terms that aren't in the purview of the common site member.

6. You don't need to change font colors or use 'J-appropriated' language such as "...ano..." in the tech forum. This is a forum for peer review and discussion, so adding in that you feel mildly uncertain or words escaped you for a few seconds and you needed filler is irrelevant.

I will review these articles properly tomorrow.
Click to expand...

Ok I have:
1. Fixed the links with a new url:
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=stararmy:yam_weather_sensor
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=stararmy:kzge032
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=stararmy:kzme032
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=stararmy:kzke032

2. Added a general summary for entire weather sensors as well as specifics for each sensor. As for history, I added a bit but again and I kept it very vague since I am still not sure what Wes wants the history to be.

3. Deleted all the OCC stuff. I kept a "mysterious orgin" reminder for so Wes to go in and edit it as some point when he decides what he wants the sensors history to be.

4. Looked up Portable in a thesaurus.. http://thesaurus.com/browse/portable and replaced Haulible with the word "Handy"

5. Well, I am not sure exactly about weather stuff other then they where all the different kinds of sensors I found. I did add wikpedia links for every weather device and weather term I used, so individuals can look it up. Hopefully that will suffice as an explanation.

Ok I spell checked, and I think I am ready for the next round of reviews

_______
Nashoba said:
FYI, I have no problem with the SSS being referred to by these items. :)
Click to expand...
kai said:
Like I said before, this is something Origin would definitely make.

My big beef was that you had posted these things without getting my permission to use Origin.
Click to expand...
Thanks so much Nashoba and Kai ;3
Sorry, again, for not asking in advance. >>;
 
SSharp said:
News on this?
Click to expand...

Well I am pretty much done, although I would like to get feedback from Exhack to make sure I have addressed everything he wanted done to this article.
Edit: I did a spell check and found some more grammar errors. Apparently I don't know how to spell the word "vehicles". I very good reason for the specific words choice I chose for some of the sensors, though I can add more links to specific weather words people don't know.

_____________________
As far as I am concerned the history and description sections includes everything I thought about or planned on having for these sensors

I haven't seen Wes on IRC so I have not had a chance to get feedback from him yet about if he has anything to add the main pages history section. I was really hoping Wes or a staff member who new what Wes wanted with the Weather Sensors could add to the history section a bit.

This way I could remove the ?? marks. Of course, Wes and the staff could have secret plans of using these weather sensors as plot devices.

Either way I would like the original request-er of this tech, Wes, or someone who knew what he wanted to look over this either before or after it get approved.
 
These still need overviews under the title lines.
 
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