To: Aelya Caeyara
From: Aliset Koun
Dear Aelya,
While Alastair is an irresponsible jackass who takes on the truly stupidest of missions (Yes, still on the Koun), I have learned a lot from him. Knowing both of you, your children will turn out every bit as kind, honorable, and strong as both of their parents. If... The discoveries of puberty will see them up to no good. While I am not well versed in interspecies children, I have no doubt of the greatness and potential you will be mother to, and the potential you have as a mother. I have dealt with fosters, helped my grandmother with her own babies, and even helped raise my cousin's children, and can offer support in the first trying months. While I wish nothing more than to give Sacre a healthy clutch of the most perfect eggs, or bear children for her of my own, she has some trauma arounf the subect. I am not at liberty to share it, but know that it shook her far beyond that one aspect. Perhaps one day. We both have a century to try. And I have nearly three.
You will not be coming with on the rescue mission. While it would have been an honor, your pregnancy and your station are far too important for me to drag you away to the wild and untamed corners of Reality. Even if the Aestaesys were to permit it, I would not. A Tal'Cel like yourself is to be protected, especially one so important as you. For once, he and I agree on something. He would send a full battlegroup to protect you, as would I, and that will be far more noticeable than one obsolete shuttle, no matter how heavily modified. Starbreaker only needs four, and can operate on one. I will be going with an engineer to keep her operational, and to run sensors and navigation. This engineer would preferably be Norian like you, as a Norian engineer will know the area. I will also be taking a medic, and a fighter. Have not made any preference on faction or species, yet. Starbreaker is a remarkable little ship that can carry and feed forty, if she'll be cramped. All I will need is the means to go there. My ship is currently equipped with a standard micro CFS type FTL drive built in YE 40, full climate control, and aside sitting in Taisho Fletcher's impound yard is a mere signature away from a Civil Service spaceworthiness certificate. The climate control works, and I can wear a heated suit for my safety. She's got a few issues, still, but she's a good ship, and I would appreciate any recommendations you have for crew and equipment.
So when I return from the machine moon, find me as a softer, healthier me, with green eyes. I've attached a recent photo. While there were some hiccups in the transfer, I am healthy, stronger, and my telepathy repaired so we can commune safely.
My nightmares aren't too difficult to explain. I dreamt of Mishhu on Shurista. Of Nicol's death and of Turassiel's fall. Those were the ones before they actually happened, and I struggle with the implications. You and Sacre are the only living people who know that I have ever had a prophetic dream. I would appreciate if it stayed that way. Otherwise, I dream of the infinite seconds I spent severed from my memories and body while I had to be resynchronized after my transfer, and I dream of that last patrol with Levente, where I heard his comm signal cut out, and he was declared missing in action. I dream of Glimmergold, and every battle I have fought. It varies, from night to night. And most of my dreams are far less violent, but no less painful. Echoes of the never was, but could have been.
I deeply appreciate your offer of tutelage, and will take you up on that encountering subjects I do not feel so confident in. With your assistance, and that of Sacre, I should make First Officer by the end of my second year, and make my candidacy for a Star Army Captain by the end of my fourth. I wonder what ship would select me. And what crew would follow me. Would a ship choose me like they do on Shurista? I still struggle with the fact that Star Army ships tend to have far more advanced AI and are often emotionally capable on a level far different from Senti built vessels. But that is a thought for years from now.
I'll ensure Alastair sends you a letter detailing the depth and passion of his love, even if I have to write it myself like I did my SAAMMS orders. Sorry if some of my own feelings get mixed in.
At the same time, I have far too few men in my love life, and am alone, here. I am the only Tsulrati on my crew. I know the cultural briefing says to have multiple. After all, I wrote it. But none of the people who I love, who love me here on the Koun, none of them are of the same species. So I find it hard to understand them some times. And as much as I hate my former people as useless cowards, I miss them. Being around them. Even in this new body, gravity makes me ill. It pulls on my organs and I can't tell how I move. It makes my muscles sore, and I sleep more, eat more than I would in my natural home. I miss Shurista, even if it is not my home.
I miss my husbands. Levente and Nicol. I know that every man who has loved me is dead. Or missing, in Lev's case. I wish I could smell his pipe tobacco and hear him strumming his guitar again. But most of all, Aelya, I miss you. You are alive. You are well. Far better than I could have hoped and for that, I am so glad. Of all, you are the one who could look at me and tell how I was feeling. Sacre can tell. But she can't feel it the way a telepath can.
The brandy and tea are on their way, CSPF Soren, tracking number 85779843-479980
My love, and my support, always,
Ali
