Approved Submission Shravana Hive

Hurm. They are pretty corrupt, but I like it. Could make for good new RP opportunities in the future.

Economy section might need a little work. As mentioned in the other thread, it needs detailing how exactly they steal things and get away with it, given the lack of ships and manpower. I guess sabotage might make more sense than outright piracy. Not sure where their food is being grown, either, but you could explain it by those sulfur-dusted moons mentioned on the system page; Using engine exaust water + sulfur to replicate hydrothermal vents (and thus grow algae/crabs) is becoming a proven technology.

Ideology part was good. I like how they are reverting to more traditional forms of art.

As for the Yui, I'm not sure that @Wes would be okay with that, but four or five Don Quixotes would make perfect sense. As a rule of thumb, through, stealing Origin Industries ships would be a lot easier than SA ones in general.

They really don't steal things anymore (as in, the original concept was their state-supported efforts to steal things ended by YE 33), assuming they ever needed to. If other Freespacers were charitable enough/easy enough to persuade to join them, they'd never have needed to steal anything, so they'd have no reason to be a neutral haven for criminals in the present day, either. That'd change a whole bunch of things.

The '99.9% of their imports and exports are stolen...' figure includes the material brought by the initial defectors who founded the colony. If gear brought in by immigrants who didn't technically own it isn't included in that figure, it probably goes down to 40% or less, even before considering the possibility of other (sub-)factions outright giving them foreign aid, which could reduce that to almost nothing... maybe a few accidentally stolen pens.

They definitely wouldn't have literally stolen any ships from non-Freespacers. It's hard enough for them to operate their own technology., and, well, other factions aren't pacifists with a relatively low tech level, so they'd get shot to oblivion, if they tried!

The only way for them to pick up ships from other factions is if those ships fly into the system unprepared, get hit by a solar flare, and then get left behind in a stable orbit, or relatively undamaged at a crash site on the outer gas giant's moons, without being scuttled or recovered. I'm not sure how likely that is. I would like them to have at least one scout ship about this size, regardless who made it, though.

I assumed their food would be grown in hydroponic farms, mostly on the outskirts of Newtown; acres of pressurized habitats using chemicals refined from the mining ships, recycled organic matter, the local clay 'soil', 'sunlight' provided by lamps powered by the colony's fusion reactors, and the local water supply to grow vegetables, lentils, seaweed, and other conventional plant-based foods in elaborate patterns.

I can add mention to their diet when going into more detail about their culture, here, if it's feasible, and also add more information about the farms to the planet article.

Hum. The system and the planet are coming along nicely as a setting piece, but I do think there is a question about where you want to take this faction thematically.

We have established that they have a lot of manpower but few ships, which would always be a pretty big problem where spacers are concerned. With that in mind, I actually liked the idea that they might turn to some less than savory methods to make ends meet. Being both hackers and pretty immune to radiation gives them a lot of ways to steal other faction's ships in 'convenient accidents' that make the foreign crew abandon ship, even if it's a high risk strategy. Criminal elements from other societies could be dealt with without breaking their own moral code, sure; They aren't capitalists and they need the resources more. I doubt foriegn criminals could live there, but that doesn't mean their services wouldn't be welcome. Other spacer groups either might not have the resources to spare in order to help them, or are asking too much service in return (As the Viridians and the Locksmiths probably would).

All of this is with a pinch of salt, of course. You don't have to listen to this advice, I'm just trying to explain something as close to your original idea as possible. You didn't just go straight for making yet another industrial powerhouse, and I can dig that. ;I

I'm not sure what the advice is in all that... that sounds like my original idea, anyway!

I'm trying to aim for the Hive having a kind of dark early history that they're now distancing themselves from, for the sake of diplomatic relations, and looking legitimate... only, they never made a clean break, the first wave of criminals were heroes to them, and they still tolerate criminals coming to them, so long as they can maintain plausible deniability, because they're accustomed to the extra income. Kind of like an island that can't give up its tourist income, even though it upsets the whole communist ideology thing. So, the conflict of trying to break free from that, and the trouble those activities might draw to them even though they're not 'state-supported', are meant to be the main conflicts to draw them into the RP.

The other conflicts are mostly internal, or almost uselessly long-term... They're trying to grow, but that's not going to happen very fast. They have a lot of demographic issues, which can lead to castes/sub-sub-factions making plays at each other to change where power is concentrated, and what direction the Hive gets aimed in. Quick wealth from piracy, a middle path through diplomacy, or low-risk, gruelingly slow industrialization while staying isolated are the big ideas currently under consideration. There's potential for meddling, there, too.

Perhaps some of this information on their overall direction just needs to be made more obvious in the actual article, then? My advice was pretty much just that they need a little more focus. Maybe it's already there, but new players looking at the article don't know that.

The first paragraph at the top of the page could just contain a sentience like "They are trying to make progress towards a better standard of living, but are marred by criminal connections made in desperation during their founding.", or something like that. Just so it lets people know what the colony is like now, rather than what it was in the past.

Other than that, giving them some kind of visual cues could help giving them a bit more identity, too. Maybe their ships are clad in heavy metals so often that black is now their official color, or something like that. Don't mind making you an emblem like I did with the other factions, but they need a little more unique iconography before it gets to that point.

Are you still working on this, Navian?

Sorry if my suggestions came across as harsh, but I was VERY close to giving this the thumbs up. ;I

I stopped working on it for a while, but only because my thoughts are disorganized. They still are, but I worked on the first paragraph. I'm trying to think of what sections to add, like one about food and diet, maybe another about fashions and aesthetics.

I think the aesthetics for their spaceships should be something like geodes... they look like worthless lumps from the outside, but when they open up, you can see some really cool things. I added some more detail to the fleet section to reflect that idea.

As far as an emblem goes... I think they'd be reluctant to stop using the Free State emblem, and use a pattern as close to it as they could get away with.

Let me know when this is ready for approval by the staff for canon purposes by posting a reply or messaging me.

I was actually waiting on your approval because of that refurbished Yamatai scout ship, @Wes.

But if you have no further qualms, then I would consider this approved.

The Diet and Fashion sections have been added! I haven't got any other ideas at the moment, so I think I'm ready for a review.

Erm... To be honest I thought this was done with and you had contacted Wes to finish this off...

The new elements look fine, through. Could even be split off into a separate 'culture' article if your really want. How much influence does the old monochrome fashion stuff even have these days? I kinda liked that idea especially.

It still has about a 15% share, mostly those who adopted it in the early years and couldn't be bothered to change their wardrobe, or those who obtained the same outfits second-hand, especially those who are proud of being conservative and not riding the bandwagon. I'm sure there's hipsters in all black and purists in all white--or possibly the reverse--in good supply.

Approved

I think I must have confused myself at some point. I used the Nozomi-class scout name in this thread and on the wiki page, but I've been using the Yui-class scout page as my reference for it the entire time. It's being used as an unarmed command ship in Zack's plot right now. Do you mind if I revise the Hive's scout ship to be an earlier Yui-class scout model, @Wes ?

That's okay.