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(SMDIoN) Nepletech

Demonblooded

Demonblooded

Inactive Member
This is my first foray into the tech forums so I'm probably going to need a lot of work on this submission. Also the AS4GS link is something that I'd like to submit too. Just not sure if I should wait for the corp to make it through first.

Corp Link https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=nepletech
AS4GS Link https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=as4gs

Thanks in advance for any tips to help smooth out this project.

*EDIT*
I know the AG4GS doesn't have a damage scale. I need advice on that.
 
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The weapon article needs to have all those underlines removed and needs to be in standard wiki format with headers and such, like I did with your corporation's article.
 
went through and fixed the shotgun format. Based it off of an approved shotgun articles for simplicity. Anything else I need to fix with it?
 
You need to put what the damage of the weapon is on the page.

Look at the Damage Rating page and decide how powerful you want this.

Also what about pricing for the weapon, ammo any accessories. After all Neptech is not going to give away weapons. They are a business.
 
Added damage for Slug and Spread mode. As far as price goes it's a for government/military use only and not available on the open market.
Also added a Standard Product Nomenclature.
 
You should still estimate an approximate price, as if it could be sold to the civilian market. And attachments need prices no matter what, as does ammo, or spare clips. After all, you're not going to just give away any and all attachments for free to the military just because they bought your gun, are you?
 
I would like the input of a higher-ranking Nepleslian player (someone who can say if the Nepleslian military would purchase/use these instead of their current armaments).
 
Wes said:
I would like the input of a higher-ranking Nepleslian player (someone who can say if the Nepleslian military would purchase/use these instead of their current armaments).
Click to expand...

Oh we will, I've been following the development of this gun and company closely. This weapon fills a vacant niche for PA shotguns.
 
I do have a question. Does that shotgun has six slugs for both barrels or does it have six for each (which would acutaly made magazine size of twelve not six)?
 
It has two ammunition tubes. They hold six rounds each. And you could chamber a round from ammo tube then fill the ammo tube again. So it would be possible to have 14 rounds in the weapon at any given time.
 
Since it was stated the the shotgun is reloaded by the means of magazines I also suppose that those are double magazines, something like two magazines stuck together to be able to reaload both barrels.
 
Nepletech APPROVED once all red links are removed.


This review is for: AS4GS Power Armor Heavy Shotgun

The submitted article is/has…
[ ] A general topic sentence under the title header
[ ] Artwork (illustrations are strongly encouraged for all spacecraft and handheld items)
[X] Needed and/or useful to the setting
[X] In the proper format/template
[X] Proofread for spelling and grammar
[X] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[ ] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[X] No red and/or broken links
[X] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[X] Reasonably neutral point of view

The submitted article is/does not…
[X] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[X] Obtusely redundant
[X] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[X] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[X] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[X] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[X] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[X] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[X] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[X] Lacking Detail
[XX] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)

The article has…
[NA] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[ ] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[ ] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[X] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.


Summary
1. Add overview sentence under title header.
2. Artwork has white background. Is this artwork made from copyrighted images?
3. NAM, power armors, etc should be linked.
4. Add appropriate DR values.
5. Add year of manufacture.
6. Clarify magazine capacity based on the above posts.


I intend to finish this review by: April 20, 2010
 
Ok Issues in order of Wes' Summary.
1. Overview sentence added.
2. Artwork was done by me. Not sure how to give it the blue background.
3. NAM and the power armor names linked. Nothing else is striking me as needing links.
4. DR is listed in nomenclature information.
5. Year of manufacture added to nomenclature Information.
6. Ammo capacity is listed under ammo in the Ammo Description area. Attempted to clarify language.

And I've removed the red linked items from the Nepletech page.

Edit: Also re-added parts and their pricing. They got lost in transition somewhere.
 
RPG-D RPGfix
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