Still Breathing - But You Just Cant Tell

[I'm Only Dancing]

Like bar crystal and rusted brandy, glassy amethyst orbs stared in solemn fixation at the airlock, the interior of the escape pod all they had seen in many days. These impassive eyes, pools of sorrow behind which their bearer forever hid herself, had neither blinked nor shifted in six hours. The process was slow, but surely and painfully, her life was ebbing away.

It was not how Mizuho had ever imagined dying - gasping, curled up fetally at the floor of a near-spent pod, what little remained of her shattered dignity sliding away like the flow of the tides. Even in the whirl and thrill of that combat she could not have won, her baser instincts had again betrayed her, her mind had ceased to be her own: somewhere in the chaos she had fled, escaped quietly in a haze of semi-consciousness. Somewhere in that haze, her body had reactivated her regeneration, and the wounds imparted on her had not killed her. Somewhere, somewhen, she had again survived her best efforts at dying.

"...still breathing..."

Barely a cracked whisper passed her parched lips, cracked and split open, dry as fine sherry with none of the joys alcohol could provide. Had she watched the navigations at all, she would have known she was now nearing orbit with Xyainbor. But she had paid no attention to those useless measurements for her entire tenure in this prison. It would have been so easy, to open the airlock, let the end overcome her swiftly and conclusively. But she could not bring herself to do so.

Slow, halting movements drew limbs stiff with cold and suffocation up against her chest. It hurt to move, it hurt to blink. It hurt to close her eyes, and to leave them open. And it hurt to think of the pain, hurt to think at all, like cold fire washing through her brain. Somewhere, other instruments might have informed her that the distress signal was still active, still calling to anyone in range. Logic, had logic not hurt, would have told her there was no chance she would be left here for eternity.

But logic had died in Mizuho some weeks past, and now there was only the welcome embrace of oblivion.

And the distress call, continuous and unrelenting, that last hope she had to maintain a life she really didn't wish to keep.

 

[Toshiro]

(I'm assuming the communication quoted is for civilians as well as military, since it comes with a threat of legal action rather than just an order.)

On Taiie, at the Seijin no Umi Spaceport, an eighteen-year-old Yamataian civilian had just returned to his vessel, after unloading, arranging, and cleaning various salvaged materials. Now, with the items at the warehouse, the emerald-eyed Yuki Toshiro, after making a final pre-flight check, was ready to go out once more.

The unusually tall, yet boyish, Yamataian stepped onto the bridge of his vessel, which was in shades of green and a near-white grey. He sat at the Captain's Chair, which had various controls from stations all over the ship. This was apparently one-man vessel. As such, it was eerily quiet, the young man not saying a word, as there was no one there to hear. The only interruptions were his own thoughts, and the occasional transmission traffic.

I hear there's construction at Ohara on a Fortress, so perhaps I should salvage around there...it seems like a reatively safe--

Toshiro's line of thought was interrupted by an automated PANTHEON transmission.

UNIVERSAL NETWORKED MONITORING SYSTEM has detected and identified the following vessels emitting an emergency distress signal:

1 escape pod, with registry: Seion, occupied

Any ship who has opportunity to respond to this request for assistance and fails to do so is subject to punishment, including the death penalty as noted in the Military Law, section 15 (Misbehavior Before the Enemy).

Toshiro thought for a moment.

Let's see...according to the header, this distress call is in the Xyainbor Area, at the edge of the captured SMX territory. Well, at least it's on this side of the front...that's roughly 30 LY out...at a light year every eight minutes, it'd take me about...240 minues...another 4 hours.

At first, Toshiro thought he should let the SA ships handle it, but the transmission DID say ANY ship...and this took priority over his pervious plans.

First I find that Yui and risk exposure to plague, and now this...oh well...I suppose it can't be helped. I'd better go right away if I'm going to get there in time.

With that, Toshiro turned on the communications system.

"Seijin SpacePort Control, this is the Salvage Vessel Yggdrasil, Yuki Toshiro piloting. Registry SRSS-000. Requesting permission to launch."

The pink-haired Neko from before popped up on the screen. he always seemed to launch during her shift.

"Understood, Yggdrasill. You are cleared on path one-zero-two. Stay safe in those debris fields!"

Toshiro inwardly smiled at the irony, considering he wasn't going to salvage this time. "Acknowledged, and thanks. Departing on one-zero-two."

With that the emerald green Vampire variant took to the air on the vector designated for him. The sky and clouds soon began to fade to black, and the stars began to shine through as he left the atmosphere behind him. Soon, having cleared the planet and the natural traffic in the system, he activated the FTL drive, and started for Xyainbor.

He silently hoped that whatever drove someone to an escape pod in such a place wouldn't force him toward similar ends.

 

[Toshiro]

(The 4 hour gap between the Yggdrasill's departuere and arrival is likely the best opportunity anyone else will have to answer the call or go en-route. If anyone else wants to ICly assist, now is the time. ^^*)

 

[I'm Only Dancing]

Mmm, am I dead yet..?

The thought drifted playfully through Mizuho's addled mind, broken with dehydration and exhaustion and memories she could never quite escape. She tried to close her eyes, and failed, settling for defocusing them at the half-shut position, faded amethyst lifting at last to fall away from the hatch. Her bid for suicide had gone extremely badly. She had not wanted to suffer and languish and die slowly in a pod, she had wanted a quick death and an end to everything she couldn't face.

Blood everywhere.

Between her clenched hands, the crushed throat of a Plebian who now hung limply in her grasp, as she stared, panting heavily. Her navigator lay splayed across the table not far away, eyes glassy and fixed on the ceiling, his life bleeding out in thick waves of scarlet, staining the glossy tile of the station floor. The rest of her crew were there, broken, battered, dead and dying. And Plebians were scattered amongst them, with the looks of not a single survivor. In the corner, there was even a Patrician, wings snapped, an arm rent fully from it's socket. Slowly, Mizuho released the body clutched in her hands, stumbled backwards, staring.

Three dozen pairs of glassy eyes stared back at her.

Mizuho might have given out her last breath there, but something happened that she had not expected. After nearly thirty standard Yamataian days drifting helplessly, she had given up all hope at a chance of a painless death, or an extension to life beyond this crowded little vessel. But those spartan communications devices that an escape pod was owed yanked her back into unsteady reality as she was alerted to hailing from another vessel.

Painfully, she dragged herself to a reasonably-upright position, and set to responding, blearily.

 

[Toshiro]

The Yggdrasill had since slowed to FTL speed, and locked onto the escape pod's signal. The refitted vampire immediately followed the signal until it came across the escape pod, which Toshiro could only guess had been out for a fairly long time.

There it is! I just hope I'm not too late...

Toshiro immediately activated the communications system, making sure to keep communications at short range. Though they were on the SA side of the minefield, Toshiro did not want to risk any interception until the occupant's status was confirmed, and they were safely aboard.

"This is the Civilian Salvage Ship Yggdrasill to the Seion Escape Pod. I have recieved your distress signal, and am here to assist. If you are able, please respond."

 

[Toshiro]

(JP between MM007 and Porcelain Doll)

ON: Xyainbor Area

...civilian salvage? Mizuho would have mused over the thought, had she been in better health. As it were, it took all the focus she could muster just to comprehend his words, and work out how to respond. Which is to say, how to operate the damn systems through the haze of agonizing dehydration. It was nearly three minutes before she managed, but the signal would return. "...this.. is Yukisato Mizuho... cap..tain of..." The voice sounded husked and broken, barely more than a whisper, and trailed off after that, for another string of silence. "...can't... hardly talk... hurts..."She hoped it was enough to establish that she was there. Had she been more in her right mind, she would have hoped it loud enough to be audible, but that was last on her mind at the time.

Toshiro didn't get the whole transmission, but understood enough to realize someone was present, though perhaps in rough shape. "Hang on Captain; I will have you and your pod on board momentarily. I'll bring her in as easily as possible; just sit down if you can. I'll be moving your pod to the airlock."

With that, Toshiro entered the command for the grapplers to be deployed, planning to use them to bring the pod to the rear of the ship.

"...thank you... Yggdrasss..." Her voice trailed off again, and Mizuho gladly acquiesced to the request that she 'just sit down. It was painful to lift her arms to rub the life back into her eyes, but she worked at it anyway. Her vision was still blurred and inconsistent, but she knew now at least that she wouldn't die in so undignified a way, gasping and desperate for only a mouthful of water. The grapplers catching the pod jerked her slightly, but she maintained what semblance of even thought still remained to her.I'll never live this down.

The Yggdrasill brought the escape pod to the airlock, and Toshiro left the bridge, dashing back to the cargo bay, though stopping at the medical bay to get a rolling bed en-route. He was glad he'd revamped the Yggdrasill's medical facilities as well as her salvage abilities, because they might be necessary now. The smaller cargo grapplers brought the escape pod into the cargo bay from the airlock, and then gently re-enabled gravity by use of the UGP system. Taking a pair of gloves he always wore while sorting through salvage, so as not to freeze his hands to the hatch, he carefully opened the escape pod door, to be met by a rush of very stale air...
Wow...she came very close to suffocating...the CO2 levels must be very high...
"Captain? Are you conscious?"

Mizuho almost managed to smile at the onset of fresh air which passed over her. It was the first comfort she had encountered in weeks. If there was a God, then he surely breathed air that clean and fresh! Granted, one could only think that after being isolated in an escape pod for several days longer than intended... He was asking a question. Mizuho blinked, slowly, the haze of her vision still quite obscuring. He was a rather tall man, though... probably Nepleslian... which would immediately set to concerning her when her mind was back in order."...con...scious..." She made an attempt to rise and leave the pod, and found her legs buckling under her.

Toshiro immediately stepped halfway in, and put one of her arms over his shoulder, to help her out of the pod. "I have a rolling medical bed ready...you don't have to walk far, Captain, just a little under a meter outside the pod. Take it one step at a time..."

Mizuho nodded mutely, and, leaning heavily on the tall man, managed to work her way out of the pod. Even braced as she was, it was agonizing moving her legs, which would likely have atrophied had her biology not been highly preventative of such things. Even unatrophied as they were, they were dealing with a lack of water and near-suffocation over the course of several days, and she was not in a terribly positive condition.

Toshiro, after they'd traveled the distance, carefully set her on the bed, and helped place her on it. He then pressed several buttons on a console, sending the cargo bay's grapplers commands to move and restock the pod, and then carefully wheeled Mizuho to the Medbay.
Once they got in, Toshiro shut the door behind them and entered another command on the wall--this time to increase the room's oxygen levels.

Mizuho managed to curl herself slowly into a fetal position once nestled onto the medical stretcher. It was more comfortable, kept the flaring pain in her disused limbs to a minimum. And... before long, she could feel even cleaner, more delightful airflow. Perhaps she had died, and there was really a God, sharing a bit of his breath with a tortured soul? She brushed the thought aside, and through parched lips uttered a single word, a request."...wa..ter..?"

Toshiro looked to her and nodded, leaving the room at a brisk pace, but only briefly. He came back in with a decent-sized container of water, with a straw, and the softest food he could find, should she want to eat. "This should do. Have as much as you want, just try not to choke, okay, Captain? I've also boosted the O2 levels in here, but I suggest you stay in that bed, at least for an hour or two. When you're ready, I can run a few simple scans, okay?"

Weakly, Mizuho reached for the water, bringing the straw lightly to her lips. Painfully, she swallowed a few slow mouthfuls. It hurt, putting anything down her throat right now, but the feeling of relief as it trickled through her inner workings was immense, and this showed in her eyes. "...thank you..." Her voice remained soft and ragged, but there was more strength in it. She returned to the water supply doggedly.

Toshiro nodded. "Think nothing of it, Captain. I'm just sorry it took so long. It took four hours at top speed to get here from Taiie after I heard PANTHEON's transmission about the escape pod's status and location."

After making sure that Mizuho was stable, Toshiro decided that they couldn't very well stay at Xyainbor. He went to the bridge, entering some commands at a console built into his chair to monitor her condition, as well as to withdraw the grapplers and head full speed back to Taiie. The ship departed in a flash, as Toshiro prepared to send a message to PANTHEON.

END

 

[I'm Only Dancing]

Some time later (roughly two and a half hours, as it were), Mizuho rose from the bed slowly, proper oxygen and water having done wonders for her physical state. There was food of some sort beside her, something mushy and probably involving large quantities of synthetic protein. She sampled it delicately, scooping a bit up with two fingers. Finding the flavor not entirely objectionable, and noting how terribly hungry she was, she set to finishing the bland creation. It nourished, if it wasn't terribly pleasent.

"...I am imprisoned?"

She noted at last her environment, apparently in the medical bay of some starship who's type she could not tell immediately from her surroundings. Her second thought came quickly, informing her she most assuredly wasn't a prisoner, as noone could possibly be stupid enough to imprison a Nekovalkyrja without locked doors and large quantities of bracing made of diamond or Zesuaiam or some similarly difficult to break material.

And the door wasn't even locked.

"...I am salvage. A trophy."

The thought made somewhat more sense, and as she turned down the hallway, one final ponderance struck her consciousness.

"I am dead, and this is purgatory. An empty ship that I cannot control."

 

[Toshiro]

A console beeped on Toshiro's armrest, obeying his earlier command to monitor Mizuho's condition. Realizing that she was up and had left the medical bay, Toshiro rose and went to meet the unfortunate Captain. He left the bridge to its own devices, the ship already over halfway through the trip to Taiie. He walked town the hallway toward the medical area, running into Mizuho about halfway there.

"I'm glad to see you feel like walking around so soon after such a situation, Captain...are you sure you're alright now? Even a Neko's body might be put under a lot of stress in THOSE conditions..."

 

[Toshiro]

(JP between me and Seki)

ON: YGGDRASILL

"Captain?"Her voice was halting. "...I am Captain? But I have not atoned..." Mizuho looked terribly confused, tilted her head to the side, crystalline amethyst optics taking in Toshiro's stature. "...and what is your rank, if I am Captain..?" Considering she believed herself to be dead, and bound in purgatory, good sense had certainly left her. Oh well.

Toshiro blinked, a bit confused, then realized the may not have mentally recovered from her brush with death... "Um...you said you were a Captain when I contacted you on the radio...right before I brought in your escape pod, remember? I'm not surprised if you don't, you were in rough shape...I had to take you straight to the medical bay. You must have been in that escape pod for a long time..."

"...escape pod..." Mizuho remembered, but... she thought she had died, after all. "...medical bay? Medical bay..." She set a hand lightly on her forehead, letting her eyes close. "...so I'm still stuck in this life, then. Yes, I was... in the escape pod for thirty-one standard days. Should I have survived that? I dont think I should have survived that. Are you sure I'm alive?" She sounded very much like she wanted to be dead and on a ghost ship of some sort.

Toshiro smiled warmly, trying to push aside any odd impressions for her sake...she didn't seem to be in her right mind just yet. "You were in fairly bad shape, but you're very much alive. Were you not a Neko, you might not be, though...Are you sure you're okay, though? You seem confused..."
(13:01:48) sekizen_no_yume: "...neko..."Mizuho cast her eyes towards the ground. "Yes, I am a part of that rather vile act of genetic hedonism." She chewed lightly on her lower lip, crossing her arms over her chest, and mock shivering. "But I appear to be fine, except for being alive. Where am I?"

Toshiro was a bit surprised that she was so quick to judge her race so harshly, but said nothing, electing to answer her question. "This is the civilian salvage vessel, Yggdrasill, and we're a little over halfway back to Taiie right now. About 90 more minutes should put us there.
He wasn't sure if she meant the ship or the location is space, so he told her both...he couldn't help but feel sorry for the woman.

"Yggdrasill." Mizuho smiled at the name. "I would be found by the tree of life. Maybe next time Hela will find me, and I can be at peace. I do seem to spend a lot of time in escape pods..." A tilt of her head. "...Taiie. It's been some time since I've seen Taiie. Is there much salvaging to be done there? Or are you turning me over to Star Army command?" A loathing touch to her voice at that final thought.

Toshiro thought for a moment. "Well, I've replied to PANTHEON's transmission and informed it that the rescue has been made, but haven't gotten any other instructions. I guess I just get you checked out at a hospital and let you move on with your life. As for why Taiie, I'm heading there anyway, since I operate out of a warehouse there, and I know it a little better. I'm more likely to get you to a hospital faster, and it IS well protected by the Fifth XF. It just seemed like the logical place to go, all things considered."

"...hospital?" Mizuho stared a moment, bit hard on her lip. "I'd much rather you put a bullet between my eyes." She turned around rather huffily and made back towards the medical bay.

Toshiro paused for a moment, quite startled by her reaction. "Hey, wait!"
He followed her toward the medical bay, to catch up. "If you don't want to go to a hospital, that's your decision, but at least let me do a few scans! You DID spend a month in that escape pod, at least some sort of check is warranted."

Turning momentarily, Mizuho cast a flat gaze over him. "There is no checking warranted. I clearly failed in my effort to die. It seems the only one of us who can willfully leave this worthless existence is the one who never should have." She turned again, slid into the medical bay, and set herself down lightly at the edge of the bed. She was more distraught than she let on, but she had no intention of letting anyone see that.

Toshiro froze. He didn't understand the last part of her statement, but he finally realized why she was in that escape pod. He could only breathe the words. "...A suicide attempt?"
He quietly, and a bit nervously, followed her into the medbay. 'um...if you don't want checked...I suppose that's okay...but I don't understand...why would you want to do something like that? Why kill yourself?"

"...I don't know if Yamataians have them. But it rests in something called a conscience." Pausing, Mizuho decided to rephrase. "Actually, I'm sure Yamataians lack them, considering things like me exist. But I suppose one could be a more despicable creature than me, if one had green hair, thick eyebrows, and a sense of nationalism personified by outright whoring." Her description of Ketsurui Yui would likely be lost on the boy before her, but... she wasnt describing her for Toshiro's benefit

Toshiro blinked, not understanding, but was slightly offended. "I'm Yamataian...and like to think I have a conscience...but what did you do to make you want to kill yourself?"

"You've never been at war." It was a statement, not a question. Mizuho took on a glassy-eyed look, and glanced towards the ceiling. "Did you ever have a crew for this vessel?"

Toshiro blinked. "No...it's just me and the computer...that's why I refuse to call myself a Captain."

"I had a crew once. I killed them." Mizuho's reply was curt, and ended right there. "You never told me your name. If I'm to be rescued against my will, I'd like to know who I'm speaking with, at least."

Toshiro felt a little startled, and momentarily afraid...but decided that if she was trying to kill herself, she wasn't likely to repeat the mistake she felt ready to die to atone for. "...I'm Yuki Toshiro."

"...Yukisato Mizuho." Her gaze shifted slowly back to her rescuer. "And no, I'm not going to kill you. I just wish I knew how Ayame managed. I suppose it probably wasn't suicide, but I'll never know, since I couldn't pretend to respect Yui." A laugh. "...hard to respect something who's first method of diplomacy is lifting it's skirts."

Toshiro looked confused, not understanding the statement,or ANY sexual reference, at all. "Yui-sama lifts up skirts for diplomacy? What good does that do?"

"...you are charmingly innocent." Mizuho gave a wan smile.

PAUSE

 

[Toshiro]

Toshiro looked at Mizuho, confused, not understanding the compliment.

"Excuse me? What's that supposed to mean, Captain?"

 

[I'm Only Dancing]

Mizuho shook her head softly, realizing fully how lacking this boy was in any knowledge of things sensual. And, of course, it was her task to give a long, boring discussion of the technicalities of it all. Such was usually the way of things.

"So you don't know what sex is, I take it." There was mirth in her voice. "...I suppose I'll fill you in. Perhaps you've noticed that your body is built differently from, for example, mine."

She expected he would probably approach the statement from the standpoint of 'natural body' versus 'hemosynthetically produced bio-weapon'.

 

[Toshiro]

Toshiro looked at his body, and looked at hers....then his, then hers...

"Well...yeah. I'm taller, somewhat heavier, and women have poofy chests for some reason...I always assumed we were built that way, like a strenth variant and a speed/agility variant....though Nekos have both, so they could stick with one type of body design...that's why you're all female, right?"

 

[Toshiro]

(JP between me and Seki)

ON: SRSS Yggdrasill

Mizuho suppressed a giggle. "...actually, Toshiro, the technical biological reason is reproduction. The poofy chests are... for feeding children..." She demonstrated be squeezing at her breasts lightly. "...but the most notable biological difference lies between the legs. Are you familiar?"

Toshiro blinked, not understanding... "Not really..."

Toshiro thought for a moment... "Onii-san never told me about such things before he died...and Mom and Dad always left those kinds of things to him...it's possible I'm in the dark about some things..."

Mizuho set a hand to her forehead. "...yes, in the dark indeed." A smile. "Well, you've an organ between your legs that I don't have. It is used for reproduction. Do you have a pen?" Demonstration time. And the comedy of the situation was certainly not lost on Mizuho, who was trying her damnedest not to break into fits of hysteria. It had, at least, removed her thoughts from her desire for death.

Toshiro looked for a pen in the medbay, and found it, carrying some paper with it. He hadn't the faintest idea what she was planning...

Toshiro walked back toward her, handing her the pen and paper. "Are you going to write something?"

Mizuho tilted her head. "...draw, actually. A diagram for you." She began sketching quickly, commenting occasionally as she drew. "...this is a phallus, thats your organ. Though flaccid in day to day purposes, it will..." A few scribbles and she edited the diagram accordingly. "...erect, when sexually excited."

Toshiro seemed confused. "...sexually? What's that mean?"

"...mmm, SEX is the act of engaging in reproduction, and it involves the erect phallus entering the vaginal cavity, which..." She continued sketching, pausing her discussion a moment to look up. "How in the hell do you not know this, as a Yamataian? I swear they programmed whore conditioning into the backlogs of every genetic experiment they did..."

This seemed to confuse Toshiro even more than before... "I don't understand...what's a 'whore'?"

"A whore engages in the act of sex for money, or just has sex a lot and with a lot of people." Mizuho bit her lip. "Alright, lets try a different way. This pen represents the phallus when erect. Between my fingers represents the vaginal cavity. Sex ensues in roughly the following manner..." She demonstrated, still suppressing the urge to burst into maniacal laughter.

Toshiro thought for a moment... "And that's where babies come from?"

"...In Geshrin and Yamataians, yes. In most species, actually. Neko are grown in hemosynthetic tanks." She grinned. "I'm told its an enjoyable act, but myself, I have little desire to take part in it. However, you being... fifteen... should probably know at least the basics."

Toshiro blinked a bit... "I'm eighteen..."

"...and you didnt know about this?" Mizuho sputtered. "...surely you've endured the phenomena of erect phallus, though. Never wondered the purpose of that?"

Toshiro sat down, thinking for a moment... "Not often...I always thought it was just swollen...whenever I brought it up, worried, to my parents, they just laughed."

END

 

[Toshiro]

(Integrated into Yggdrasill thread, at this post: https://stararmy.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=35504#35504 )