Approved Submission System Cascade and Cascade Prime

[Ametheliana]

Submission Type: System and Planet
Template Used:
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=templates:star_system
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=templates:planet
Submission WIP URL:
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:planet:cascade_prime
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:system:cascade
Submission Destination URL:
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:planet:cascade_prime
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:system:cascade

Faction: n/a
FM Approved Yet? n/a
Faction requires art? n/a

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? Yes, each other.
Contains New art? No
Previously Submitted? No

@Arbitrated @META_mahn @Wes

 

[META_mahn]

This review is for: Cascade
ueheuhuehuheueuhuuuhuehue homestuck joke

The submitted article is/has…
[ Yes ] A very high level of overall quality
[ Yes ] A general topic sentence under the title header
[ N/A ] Artwork (Required for new species; Strongly recommended for vehicles and hand weapons)\\
[ ??? ] Needed and/or useful to the setting

• What's this gonna be used for in the future? I'm assuming as an Akemi's production system or something seeing as Tengoku station is close by.

[ Yes ] In the proper format/template
[ Yes ] Proofread for spelling and grammar

• I hate to be the guy.

• I'm gonna be that guy.
  • Last sentence before OOC notes is missing a period.
  • Also the footnote should be "besides flora and fauna." Something something, prepositions are really annoying.

[ Yes ] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[ 1 LEFT ] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)

• Cascade Prime should be linked to the Cascade Prime subsection.

[ Yes ] No red and/or broken links
[ Yes ] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[ Yes ] Reasonably neutral point of view

The submitted article is/does not…
[ No ] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[ No ] Obtusely redundant
[ No ] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[ No ] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[ Ni ] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[ Nu] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[ ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing ] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[ No ] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[ No ] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[ No ] Lacking Detail
[ No ] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)

The article has…
[ N/A ] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[ N/A ] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[ N/A ] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[ N/A ] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.
Summary
Just the purpose of the system itself (mostly because of MBL reasons).

Status: Approved

Notes
None.

I intend to finish this review by: 5/30/2018

 

[META_mahn]

This review is for: Cascade Prime

The submitted article is/has…
[ Yes ] A very high level of overall quality
[ Yes ] A general topic sentence under the title header
[ N/A ] Artwork (Required for new species; Strongly recommended for vehicles and hand weapons)\\

• Planet art is appreciated, though.

[ ??? ] Needed and/or useful to the setting

• Okay it's definitely an Akemi's farm world.

[ Yes ] In the proper format/template
[ Yes ] Proofread for spelling and grammar

• "Gaia Planet" is a nonexistent term. (Location: More about Cascade Prime)
• "It teems with life" is redundant.

[ Yes ] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[ Yes ] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[ Yes ] No red and/or broken links
[ Yes ] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[ Yes ] Reasonably neutral point of view

The submitted article is/does not…
[ No ] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[ No ] Obtusely redundant
[ No ] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[ No ] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[ Ni ] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[ Nu] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[ ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing ] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[ No ] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[ No ] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[ No ] Lacking Detail
[ No ] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)

The article has…
[ N/A ] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[ N/A ] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[ N/A ] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[ N/A ] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.
Summary
No issues.

Status: Approved

Notes
None.

I intend to finish this review by: 5/30/2018

 

[Ametheliana]

Changes made.

This will be a place for a small scale battle for my character Aashi Nath, her hubbo, and various others to fight in. They currently reside in Ulyshi, which is up there in the North North.

 

[META_mahn]

That'll be fun. Everything is fixed...

*double approve*

 

[Ametheliana]

*hits that create pad button and summons Gunhand*