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Approved Submission [System] Kyzu + Planet Xuno

Dragon_God

Dragon_God

Inactive Member
Submission URL
https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=wip:system:kyzu
Submission Type: System
Template Used: System
Submission WIP URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:system:kyzu
Submission Destination URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=system:kyzu
Subarticle:
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:planet:xuno
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?
[Waiting to be Approved]
Sub-subarticles:
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:faction:independent:the_principality_of_nojah
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:faction:independent:the_ichiko_empire
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:faction:independent:the_democratic_republic_of_fahen
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:faction:independent:the_united_republic_of_the_reeves
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:faction:independent:the_kingdom_of_thullo
[Waiting to be Approved]
Faction: Independent/USO
FM Approved Yet? Yes, Uso approved of it
Faction requires art? Yes

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? Yes
Contains New art? Yes
Previously Submitted? No

Notes:
 
Last edited by a moderator:
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To me, this submission looks... Incomplete. Most of the "xx" sections are supposed to be replaced with actual data, for example; on top of that, the amount of planets in the system needs to be specified, and then the planets themselves also need to be listed.

Please list your subarticles, and your sub-subarticles. Those are all unapproved. (They seem rather okay, though!)
 
I’d suggest break this submission up into first the sub articles and the sub-sub articles, each to its own thread. And after that, submit the overencompassing article.
 
So, I filled in the gaps from The Principality of Nojah. I also filled in the Kyzu system wiki and tweeted a thing wrong with it, so there should be no further gaps.
 
Isn’t there currently a moratorium on new factions?

Edit: Based upon what Wes said here, I’d recommend moving the following articles to the wip:faction:independent namespace...
...making “a clear plot plan for how they will appear in the story,” and explaining why it makes “sense for them to be where they are at the present time,” as said actions - assuming I’m interpreting Wes correctly - would allow for the submission to effectively “avoid” the aforementioned moratorium.

Apologies for not adding this sooner... >.<

Wes said:
Traditionally "independent" has been treated as a pseudo-faction on SARP and single-system colonies of humans and random aliens have been counted under the independent faction. It would be okay to make a new star system with humans in it as an NPC faction as long as they had a clear plot plan for how they will appear in the story and also that it would make sense for them to be where they are at the present time.
Click to expand...
 
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I don’t mean to be rude, @Ametheliana, but in my humble opinion the article you linked is another setting element, not a “plot plan” like the one for the Eucharis.

Edit: Dragon, however, doesn’t have access to the GM/FM forums - so perhaps he (Dragon) could write one up and send it to Jack or Zack for posting?
 
I asked him if he has something to give Zack for the FM/GM board and he gave me this, which is a future outline as well as past history.

IMO this Eucharis plot plan is way less extensive than what I just linked.

I don't think anything else is required. Does any mod have an opinion?
 
IMO the system article is still a stub. It's got a nice couple of front paragraphs but it peters out quickly.


The planet naming is... Weird, as well. Only two planets have """""actual names""""" but the others don't? I think it'd be nice to have either one way or the other, all having names or none having names.



As a completely personal thing, I don't like the idea of a planet that was inhabited by humans and happened to be undetected for a long time and stuff. Call me out on being a bit crazy (I probably am, to be honest) but it makes me think of PACT a little too much for my personal comfort.
 
In response to @Arbitrated, the planets will remained named the way they are for now. Since it’s newly discovered. They don’t know the names of the planets yet and either have to find out. Or create new ones. So, for now, the unidentified ones are given, such names.
 
But.... How do you only discover part of a star system? o~o Even IRL we managed to get all of our planets figured out a couple hundred years ago...?
 
They discovered the planets, they just don’t have names for all of them. The ones that are named, they discovered from overhearing the locals on the planet Xuno. The rest are not named.
 
They have a lack of interest and are constantly dealing with conflict amongst themselves. So you’re telling me to add a planetary rap sheet for every planet?
 
Yes, yes we are.

Humans have been fighting each other for a long, long time, and still managed to name the Solar System's planets.
 
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