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Approved Character Takeda Junko

Sean_ODuibher

Sean_ODuibher

Inactive Member
Takeda Junko

I can only foresee three potential problems with this entry:

Minor Problem #1: I used "Japanese" in the physical appearance section twice. If that ought to go in the OOC section, that is quite fine, but I thought it the best way to describe the character.

Minor Problem #2: The description of Junko's abilities in the Maintenance/Repair/Engineering department might sound a little excessive. I'm not trying to portray her as some super mechanic, but rather as someone with a lot of interest and willingness to learn, a lot of background knowledge, and a lot of experience to bring to the table, all qualities that I think would make her ready to step up to any challenge in the engineering department, given a little time to become acquainted with anything she was unfamiliar with. Again, I thought I portrayed this, but if it needs some work, that is also quite fine.

Major Problem #3: The idea of Junko being in an NH-29H is rather important to her character, as I hope was made clear in the history section. I guess I could make her a Yamataian if I really had to, but it wouldn't really be Junko if she was still in a normal Nekovalkyrja body. Now, I know the wiki lists the NH-29H as rare and subject to GM approval. However, I have seen several new characters that seemed to be approved without any mention of their being NH-29Hs in the approval threads. So I sort of assumed that the restriction was defunct.

At any rate, I hope this is solid in general. Junko is basically a response to Wes's mention of an opening for a Technician/Engineer on the Eucharis, but I figure such a character wouldn't really be too out of place regardless of where she is assigned to.

Thanks for looking over this.
 
Describing the character as Japanese can be skipped — just say Yamataian and we know what you mean.

Don't sweat the engineering bit. I'm confident a mechhead such as yourself can handle the balance of being capable without being overpowered.

The character's quite well written. I like the work that's gone into her, how carefully the appearance was crafted and how her personality comes out.

But you're right, the NH-29H is a hang-up for me. So you understand, Frown-chan's NH-29H I was not fond of, but I let it slide. I shouldn't have. Also, Tyler's a longtime veteran, and the way he goes through characters, I don't mind if he has an NH-29H.

Your NH-29H though ... I feel like if I say, "No, can't do it; make her an NH-29A", the entire character falls apart. The engineering aspect to her is without question tertiary to her being a NH-29H. She's not questioning her life as a Neko, doesn't seem to resent being a Neko or having Neko heritage, has no grand point to make by being NH-29H. Only some kind of waffling, "Awww Nekos are racist bitches but damn the body's so good" motif, which you express succinctly in the history.

Where does it go from there?

I think the NH-29H bit is an end searching for a means. Looking at this character there's really no purpose in her being NH-29H at all. Taking out the NH-29H part, and putting her in a 29A body, makes her an engineer with a kind of crappy childhood and possibly a chip on her shoulder about having been a Yamataian.

I don't like to bring my own work into reviews, as it feels self-agrandizing. However, Yukari I believe represents an important dilemma when it comes to Neko vs. Yamataian society — one can be considered human, the other considered less than human. That's a pretty damn strong point to roleplay from. For Yukari, she wanted to be Yamataian to be human, to escape being a killing machine and be considered "real." Now she's really struggling with her decision, and her being an NH-29H reflects from many different points.

For Junko, though, there seems to be some practical reasons for being in a 29X body — and little else. There's no conflict, no struggle, nothing really to it. She's got the 29H body now. End of story. Moving on with semi-generic engineer character.

Your writing is superb. I wish I'd had the chance to review your first character — *glares at Wes for instapproving a good one* — and you've already got a future ahead of you here. From that view, see this as a challenge. Right now, your character's an end, filling a hole in the admin's plotship.

I know you've got more than that.

This character is pending. The submitter must review the character and bump the thread with a post signaling it is ready for a second review.
 
Thanks a lot for the review, and compliments, Doshii. As a caveat to the rest of this, I am certainly going to go back and try to think about the character, but let my try to explain where I'm coming from.

In terms of this character just being an ends, its true that I picked the career because I saw the opening, but the rest was sort of a culmination of some thoughts I had floating around. To be frank, I'm just not comfortable RPing as something which doesn't look human, as we know it. So I will admit, there was an aspect of Junko filling the requirement for what I needed to feel all right with what basically comes down to my avatar, an extension of me, in this universe.

But in terms of Junko herself, they way she evolved as I was writing her down is superficially without any great conflict. It seems like she's got the body she wants and she's going off to play soldier like she wants. The idea though is that this is really masking some undercurrents of more serious dysfunction. I should have hoped that I could have managed to RP them out, but to explain what I was thinking:

Junko has never been around a bunch of Nekos before; all her life, she has been surrounded by other "humans." Her idea of "normal" is that, while simultaneously her mother is telling her she's better, and not just in the normal parental "oh, you are so special, sweety," kinda way. All of that I hope is obvious in the history/personality/etc. The critical part is that she has now chosen some middle ground between the Neko's and "humans," in her mind, that is about to be inapplicable. After all, it's going to be fairly obvious to any Neko that she's not a Yamataian. I was thinking of it in a sense of, at least initially, a sort of depression that she's a faker. I mean, Junko loves fitting in, and she's basically joined an organization where, from the standpoint of her world view, it is literally impossible for her to do so. I don't know, that's where I was going.

But basically, if I'm hearing you right, an NH-29H body is okay so long as there is a good reason. As I said before, I will be thinking about her and I'll try to clarify or expand her "issues" as soon as the exigencies of finals allow it.

Again, thanks for the review and compliments. I'll bump - again? - as soon as I make the upgrades.
 
I think of Yamataian vs. Nekovalkyja not as "human vs machine" but rather as Windows XP Home vs. Windows XP Professional. Yamataians and Nekovalkyrja are both NH-series android. But, the Nekos are "military grade."
 
If it helps you Sean, one of the major points about the "human vs. machine" point Yukari and Kotori have made before — and gets to the heart of why I think Wes is wrong in his opinion — is this:

Nekos can't have real children through real sex. They clone, asexually even, and those clones grow up incredibly fast (Junko's only 4!). They can't have historically "normal" families with a daddy, a mommy and siblings.
 
Bump?

Thanks again, Doshii, and Wes for your comments. I do see where you are both coming from, though I think my update has a slightly different spin. I'm curious to see what you think.

Okay, I know that the personality section and even moreso the history section are now ludicrously huge, but I think that I'm now conveying the more accurate essence of Junko. If it needs slimming down, that's fine, but I'd like to see what you think. And if you think that those sections are big, you should see the mass of outlines, drafts, and relationship charts I drew up just trying to figure out what makes Junko tick. Also, you may notice that the NH-29H has been "slightly" repurposed in its emotional effect.

At any rate, if this really isn't going to work, just let me know and I'll start working on something else. But that would be kind of sad for me, as I'm starting to really like Junko, especially when I see her as a lonely little girl.
 
Okay this has been bugging me but there is NO REASON to create a BUMP post when it is on a page with only 4 other threads. Just posting that you have made changes is enough.
 
It's redundant to put "Bump" though, since once you post on these forums, it brings it up to the top regardless.( which it already was since it was the last thing reviewed.)
 
I understand what you are saying. It really was more tongue-in-cheek than anything else. Trust me, I lurk around many a message board and understand the annoyance of excessive bumping. I promise I'm not going to do any frivolous "bumping" all the time.
 
I have only one issue with the bio. It's the 29H thing. The NH-29H simply isn't available to civilians. There's no way she could have had access to one before joining the military. If she's going to have a neko body, it should have been acquired at or after enlistment.
 
So would having her mother acquire the NH-29H, but dependent on Junko joining the Star Army, be acceptable? I don't feel like the manner of her joining the Star Army is as important to me as her having the NH-29H, both as a function of her self image and as a function of her being a character I'd be willing to RP as. I don't have anything against standard Nekovalkyrja per se, but I just wouldn't feel comfortable with that mental image for my "avatar."

I guess otherwise having Junko be a Yamataian could be made to work, but I think that would lose something from the character, at least as I conceive of her now.
 
Okay, I have changed the final parts of her history to reflect that her receipt of the NH-29H body was a function of her enlistment. Based on what Wes said, I have assumed that it is acceptable as such.

Otherwise, I'm still happy to hear any criticisms of the character or writing. I am concerned with the length of the history, though I'm unsure how I would shorten it without removing information explicatory of her personality.

At any rate, it all ought to be good to go for another review. Thanks again for your time and comments.
 
... I've already had to turn down one person with the NH-29H, as it's supposed to be rare. And letting a new player have it seems wrong, when I turned down a veteran from having it. Even though you have written it well, I can't justify it. If Wes wants to overturn me, he can, but I can't in good conscience allow you an NH-29H.
 
I completely understand where you are coming from, and if that is the final decision, it is quite fine with me. If Wes does not decide to overturn - I assume he will stand by your decision - I would prefer that the character is disapproved and deleted, as I wouldn't be making any more efforts on "fixing" her. I might return to Junko at some point in the future, but at the moment, too much is invested in her current form and I think I would find it easier to come up with an entirely new character than attempt to contort the work already established.

Either way, thanks again for the reviews and comments. I look forward to hearing Wes's decision.
 
I think I'll let this one (NH-29H) slide, ONLY because you have such a well-written history and because you've been very patient and cooperative to Jake and I. I'm willing to make this case-by-case exception. Thank you, Sean!

Character Approved.
 
Thank you both, Wes and Doshii - or Jake, rather? I do really appreciate the compliments you have paid me and honestly look forward to sticking around here for a long time.
 
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