Tatiana (Edit/revamp)

[Gamerofthegame]

Soul crushing.

But much better!

Submission Type: Planet revamp
Submission URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=system:tatiana

Faction:
FM Approved Yet? Wes gave the thumbs up to do this, though I imagine he would also be the one approving it so this is a bit moot.
Faction requires art? ~

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? No, but others need altering. See notes.
Contains New art? No
Previously Submitted? Yes, a long time ago when I was senator. Gave it a rush job, came back to fix it.

Notes: The general spirit of everything is still there, just more. And better written. I have purposefully also written it to be a bit baiting for any Independant World League plots, as honestly it kind of makes to much sense to not. However, as you may notice; the people who dislike the Empire are a minor, grumbling faction. It's not going to randomly flip on its own, not with a Legion sitting on it. Speaking of;

The following pages need to be edited, which I will do after approval if (you) do not;
Changing the Legion VII to either be home'd at Tatiana or deployed there in the notes.

Tatiana's population given a hefty boost. I am thinking something more like Anisa's 300 million. For a certain amount of a reality check; New York City has twenty million people, including all the delicious Metropolitan goodness. And it's a planet of bundles of 'em. As consequence, you can tank the population of some of the refugee worlds.

(On that subject, the numbers for that page in general are kinda... Silly. Namely for worlds that are homeworlds to the rarely recognized species. Like lamias and space bears.)

I took some liberties with the general Mishhu attitude, but I both didn't want to have to rewrite the "Fixed and better!" Tatiana a year later and I felt it made sense for them to not get in the muck of things, Yamatai right there and all. Priorities.

I also actually made the planet a "Warmaster" world. A master of (war) bureaucracy, but hey.

While I skimmed it by after, this was all done in one heady go, so feel free to point out anything off.

 

[raz]

I haven't read through all of it, though cool for updating this. I've got some comments on the government part, as I run Tatiana's post-war governor, but that's just a minor thing. And the addition of imposing Legion Spires seems really out of character for the naturalist feel the world currently has.

 

[Wes]

Legion Spires are very in character for Yamatai and they're actually fairly Eco-friendly. You got to live somewhere and a tower is better than a sprawl if you're trying to preserve the land.

Tatiana dos not have much in the way of a Nekovalkyrja population outside of the military. In fact, much of the world's population is rather hostile toward the few Neko civilians, leading to no small amount of dissent in the people. This has only grown dramatically after being released from their occupation, requiring the Legion's deployment nearby. However, even prior this level of dissent was rarely more then people's grumbling.

I don't like this part much, mainly that you're trying to set up some Yamataians being hostile against other Yamataians as a culture, whereas Yamatai as a whole is relatively racism-free (especially compared to Nepleslia). Even the synths vs natural humans thing (species restriction act etc) is usually just about human limitations.

Tatiana has it's own farms

Enhance your literacy, please. I really, really want to get people to stop making this mistake.

it is a common sight to see stones and slurs thrown at Nekos and their homes. As a result, it isn't considered a very safe place to live for them

How would they possibly get away with this? Nekos can kick their asses either physically or legally.

 

[raz]

Okay. Sorry. I got home really late last night and couldn't say much then.

Now, I know I'm not an FM or anything, but I've got a vested interest in this planet (my clan) and was entrusted to play the planet's governor by Doshii, who runs Yuumi and the civilian government. So I'm going to tell you what I think.

There are a lot of spelling and grammar errors. Wes mentioned one but they're everywhere. Just a note. Apologies if this post contains spelling and grammar errors after calling you out, but it's going to be long and go un-edited.

After being founded, Legion VII was semi-permanently stationed on the planet for defense and policing purposes.

This really seems out of nowhere and doesn't make sense continuity-wise. The legions (and thusly VII) were founded after Tatiana was captured. The earliest their move to Tatiana could have happened was late YE 34 after the Ninth Fleet took it back.

If you want to RP this legion's founding that could be cool but what you've written goes against the established timeline. Though I'd rather just not see a legion stationed here. Guess that's up to Wes.

Amazingly, Tatiana didn't suffer to harshly under prolonged occupation, agreeing to supply the enemy forces with planet-made food and supplies for some degree of safety.

I disagree with citizens in the central cluster rolling over to the Mishhuvurthyar and helping them with their occupation.

n fact, much of the world's population is rather hostile toward the few Neko civilians, leading to no small amount of dissent in the people. This has only grown dramatically after being released from their occupation, requiring the Legion's deployment nearby. However, even prior this level of dissent was rarely more then people's grumbling.

One of the governor's top initiatives since taking control of post-war Tatiana has been to reduce surface tensions between the majority Geshrin population and whatever Neko are unfortunate enough to wind up there. If an update's going to happen, it should reflect a decreasing anti-Neko sentiment in the streets.

In addition, Tatiana has its own farms, operating on a substantive farming philosophy.

With the draconian environmental laws described earlier on the page, I think you mean "sustainable."

On a planet as snugly populated as Tatiana, government is a relatively easy process to identify with; Everything within a city falls under individual municipal department head or mayor, while everything beyond that falls under the world's governor, who resides in the Valhalla's spire building. The Governor, of course, heeds then heads the empire.

The post-war governor has a more topdown philosophy for during reconstruction. The planet's central Imperial government, at least during these critical post-war years, is far more involved than indicated here.

There are also many major cities about Tatiana, as well as towns and villages.

You don't mention any of these. When we say stuff like this, why not just write a bunch of short blurbs like planet Yamatai's article that actually detail these? If you'd like help, I'd be more than happy to really get into fleshing out a bunch of cities and towns.

Tatiana is a extremely planned colony, taking great steps to ensure it remains a beautiful utopia of a planet. This is at the cost of both private construction as well as general time and management. All cities of the plant reside on the same settled continents and are universally the same; Large, disc-like cities that are fairly dense and are a mass of walk ways and light and heavy rail services

...

The cities themselves tend to be fairly cramped and noisy, densely constructed to make up for the lack of personal transport. A person's place of work is probably just a short walk away, or a slightly longer ride on the tram. They are very clean, pollution-less facilities, brimming with life and beauty - Flowers and miniature parks are all about each of the disc cities.

The first part contradicts the second part. Tatiana's citizens are concerned with beautiful space. But the disc cities are described in a very un-beautiful way. And then life in the cities themselves is simultaneously described as cramped and noisy while being beautiful.

This point is actually why I brought up the spires. Okay, Wes says they're environmental. But they're also ugly as sin. That really doesn't mesh well with what this planet's all about: naturalism and environmentalism to a ridiculous "draconian" level. Shouldn't that mean ethically and superficially? Not trying to refute Wes, just checking up on continuity and consistency.

If you're going for a Bangkok sort of feel, it's not currently reflected. Some editing/continuity revision would be appreciated here in general.

There are, however, other centers of civilization on planet, largely illegal. Hostile Refugees, bandits, pirates and so forth. It is possible the Mishhu have a stowaway base or bunker somewhere hidden as well.

That is not possible. The Ninth Fleet was very thorough. I suppose there's always a caveat of "if a GM wants to run a plot here with hideout Mishhuvurthyar" that looms, but I don't think we should have such a big "maybe" in an article about a Yamataian core world.

Dissent ...

Everyone knows I'm real big on Geshrin dissent. That's what my clan's all about and I really actually love and encourage this. But not the very public part. As Wes mentioned, it doesn't make sense. And as I mentioned earlier, one of the governor's main initiatives has been to decrease public hatred and racism toward Neko (though, as a note, would likely encourage it privately).

Given a lot of the tension in the Senate surrounding Neko, I feel like even your average Yamataian human racist would see the benefit of not broadcasting their opinions. Geshrin who dislike Neko aren't analogous to some crazy Michigan Militia bumpkin from America or another stereotype. They're still educated Yamataian citizens who should fall into that cultural norm.

Due to this, as well as the planet's general very mixed, diverse population, it is among one of the planets in the empire that universally adopts a actual paying economy, paying for both goods and services instead of a more simplistic bartering or favor based one like much of the empire, Yamatai in particular, has developed. It gives the planet a very different feel over its neighboring cousins - Not that it isn't rife with its own unique qualities and issues.

I feel this should be described better. There is no way this economy would work and it really seems more like a novelty for tourists, or something. Yamatai is a (generally) post-scarcity society that provides a lot for its citizens. What the Empire has found scarce lately is food. If Tatiana is as big an agricultural place as this update says, then the planet should command a strong position within the Empire's economy (however the damn thing works) as an important asset.

While harrassment towards Neko is fairly common, if only because the very police tend to turn a blind eye to it, other sorts of crimes in cities are rather tempered.

This is simply untrue. The governor would not stand for any officers on the planet's police force being like this, and I don't think Wes or the other Yamataian FMs should be okay with the YSA being represented in this manner.

(Think New York City, here!)

This is helpful but, even as an OOC reference, we should shy away from throwing real world stuff in. Describe it with prose rather than by comparing it to something that doesn't exist within our IC wiki.

Post-occupation, the planet's aether generators were reinstalled, though they remain unused except when absolutely required, such as critical emergencies or the like.

Aether is perfectly clean energy (at least for the canon overworld universe!). Tatianii citizens like nature. They aren't luddites.

Mishhu could never safely commit troops to land and enslave the planet's occupants, instead giving them a curiously unmolested life style.

An entire Mishhu fleet bombed in toward Tatiana to take it. I'm not saying to hugely change the whole 'they didn't get enslaved' thing, but Tatiana fell at a point when the NMX didn't have an established ground force and were still RPd as using many parasites and abominations who don't "land" so much as they slip around and scourge worlds. There is no doubt in my mind that many of these made it down. Especially with the farmlands talked about in this article, this point isn't consistent.

 

[Revolver]

As the Senator for Tatiana, I figured I'd throw in my comments as well:

I'm a little confused at what even lead to this rewrite in the first place. Aside from the inconsistencies that I've seen raz go over here, what is the impetus for making all of these changes to Tatiana? Now while I do agree that too much bureaucracy can halt the wheels of progress on getting stuff done, I think in this case maybe too much has been done without talking with those involved and invested in this planet, especially given the sweeping changes made therein. But I don't want to harp too much when you've obviously gone through so much effort, Gamer. As long as the inconsistencies are cleared up, I think you've done a good job.

 

[Gamerofthegame]

S'why I get for going back and forth on it for a day, grammar errors firefox doesn't pick up. Geez. I'll fix that soon.

Tatiana was my project from before, a somewhat rushed thing. It always kinda niggled on me, so I felt I wanted to fix it and make it how it was more originally intended to come off to be. This isn't intended to be a change, per say.

Anyway. From top down,

I am not sure everyone would agree with you on it being racism free, Wes! That said, even with that view in mind Tatiana gets plenty of immigrants from former UOC and Neplesia, both of which aren't necessarily all loving and affection of Neko, either, synths and meats aside.

That said, probably will lower the "dissent" in regards to Neko down a bit.

Now then. Raz, given that you play the governor, evidently, feel free to edit anything you'd like with it. It's your hat, after all, I am just tidying up my old one. (And to be honest I didn't think anyone was doing world-representation these days, I probably would have nudged you then!)

The Legions probably weren't formed there, just deployed. It's a major core system world, Yamatai can't be the only front loaded planet. It's been taken over once and there might be other stuff around, still. Honestly it'd make more sense to shoo the legions to hang out on various worlds until needed, but eh. Something separate.

The flipside is of the Mishhu occupation is that they also had no defensive ability. That sort of stuff is Yam fleet only, usually, which already got stomped. Tatiana lost and the civilians made a appeal to for their safety.

And yes, sustainable. Those tricky su-words. Couldn't even spell refugees right half the time, for some reason.

Like I said before, feel free to edit things, including government. That said, the mayors are under direct control of the governor - It's mitigation, not branches.

You don't mention any of these. When we say stuff like this, why not just write a bunch of short blurbs like planet Yamatai's article that actually detail these? If you'd like help, I'd be more than happy to really get into fleshing out a bunch of cities and towns.

Thaaaat's cuz that paragraph in particular I forgot to delete! That's the old stuff. I thought I got all of them. If something else looks off and slightly repetitive else where, that's also probably why. That said, I am shy on fleshing out cities - They are designed to be fairly samey, for one, and for two I would like to put as few numbers on things are possible and only imply it. Otherwise we start to feel silly when people want to try and match numbers up.

-

The cities are meant to be beautiful, filled with flowers and gardens and whatever else. However, being that it's a pedastrian paradise the distances are also all rather small, leaving quite a few people in one place. Noisy and crowded on account of the people. They're busy cities!

The Mishhu have a rare few, lost critters running about the planet. They probably could make a bunker over time, regardless. That said, though, Tatiana is a world covered in wildlands and forests. Not unthinkable, that's another region for a Legion to be there.

As you have, apparently, done anti-dissent IC things and are also kind of on the same boat as me in this regard, I encourage you to tweak the dissent heading as you feel it should be right now, Raz.

I feel this should be described better. There is no way this economy would work and it really seems more like a novelty for tourists, or something. Yamatai is a (generally) post-scarcity society that provides a lot for its citizens. What the Empire has found scarce lately is food. If Tatiana is as big an agricultural place as this update says, then the planet should command a strong position within the Empire's economy (however the damn thing works) as an important asset.

It's not, that was a typo, my bad. It's a commercial power house and agriculturally sufficient - Anisa is, I believe, supposed to be the agricultural power house. And Nataria the more industrial one on account of being a depot, I suppose. Should be noted, though, that Yamatai does indeed have the money system, it's just that most everywhere doesn't really use it for anything. Such is utopian life.

However, Tatiana has A.) Been under control for four years with no outside assistance and B.) Has a significant immigrant population, who do use cash commerce. Of the slightly weird and idealistic systems, Yamatai's usual probably makes the least sense for Tatiana. In my opinion, anyway!

I'll clean up the Police stuff. Probably some handy wikipedia article I can link for what NYC does in particular.

Aether is perfectly clean energy (at least for the canon overworld universe!). Tatianii citizens like nature. They aren't luddites.

They aren't, but the Mishhu would have forced them to dismantle it and they'd have to make up for it. All the solar power infrastructure is already there and it's unquestionably all clean and green, (With aether literally being other worldly) why give it up? More 'Don't need to use them' and less 'Refuse to use them', I will have to adjust that a bit.

And I do want to make a note I did ask about and look into it, though hadn't found anything concerning Tatiana's involvement in the war. I had thought it was just a "And Tatiana was overwhelmed by a fleet and occupied!" with no other information to it. I'll read the war post at a later date before editing and making it more accommodation, though if it's just bombarding into submission then that works just as well. And as the fauna implies, Mishhu weren't hands off on the world, there are still a rare few now.

Now then,

Revolver, feel free to make as much comments, requests for edits and so on as I've said to Raz. Tatiana was originally mine, made it this way and so on, as I've said. However, I was kind of under the impression that no one was attached to the world now, specifically. My fault, oh well.

I will likely get back on this either late today or tomorrow, applying the various fixes and considerations.

 

[Revolver]

Revolver, feel free to make as much comments, requests for edits and so on as I've said to Raz. Tatiana was originally mine, made it this way and so on, as I've said. However, I was kind of under the impression that no one was attached to the world now, specifically. My fault, oh well.

I was more just surprised that Tatiana was getting updated since as far as I had known, Kai(Origin) and raz(Saiga) were the only ones really doing anything with it-- and Luca had a part too with the Phoenix. Sometimes information just doesn't get propagated around, which is one thing that's nice about threads like this.

 

[Gamerofthegame]

Alright, the second revision is in place. I tossed it through word and read through it, cleaning stuff up I found. Please do point out if there are any other inconsistencies or errors.

Additionally, I edited articles. I would point you to the revision template if it wasn't kind of hard to read in whatever form you bring it up in. So, instead;

The cities heading was cleaned up a bit, removing the old paragraph I missed and cleaning up the "crowded and dense" paragraph. Also removed the "maybe" on a Mishhu bunker. Instead there now are wandering remnants, which ties in with the fauna page.

The dissent page was cleaned up, some, too. Uncommon bullying and slurs instead of something more severe, with the more political implications being there.

The police stuff was tweaked in particular as well. Added OOC notes like all the other pages, if only to say how relevant the information is to wandering site goers.

Point out anything else that I either missed or you'd like changed and so forth!

 

[Wes]

There is no roads

Aside from the grammar issue, I was thinking it would be more realistic to say roads are limited to in and around the cities. Roads are important for moving cargo from the spaceports to businesses and such.

 

[Nashoba]

Or they could use Type 32 Grav Train to move large stuff in a clean fashion between cities.

 

[Gamerofthegame]

Indeed, it's all trains all the way down. There are a lot of train tracks.

And little hand carts, when needed. Even the starport could technically be manned by the work-mecha that I don't really feel like finding.

 

[Gamerofthegame]

If there are no further objections from Wes or Raz?

I'd enjoy closing this up so I can start headway with Siggy into the Separans.

Edit: It can, no worries.

 

[raz]

Sorry, I just drove 500 miles back home today. If it can wait, I'll do some things tomorrow. Wes can approve it anytime he wants, anyway.

 

[Wes]

Approved