Approved Submission Tenth Life

[Ametheliana]

Submission Type: Business/Media
Template Used: Business
Submission WIP URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:media:tenth_life
Submission Destination URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=corp:akemis_umbrella:tenth_life

Faction: Independent
FM Approved Yet? N/a
Faction requires art? No

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? No
Contains New art? No
Previously Submitted? No

@Arbitrated @META_mahn @Wes

 

[META_mahn]

This review is for: Tenth Life

The submitted article is/has…
[ Yes ] A very high level of overall quality
[ Yes ] A general topic sentence under the title header
[ Yes ] Artwork (Required for new species; Strongly recommended for vehicles and hand weapons)\\
[ Yes ] Needed and/or useful to the setting

• Akemi's Umbrella is stated to be a megacorp of sorts...so why not.

[ Yes ] In the proper format/template
[ Yes ] Proofread for spelling and grammar

• Facilities: "...does spill over to other of Akemi's Stations. There are music production facilities now built at every one of his installed stations."
  • Fix: "...does spill over to other stations owned by Akemi's Umbrella, each station having new music production facilities installed."
    • This sentence could probably be even more refined, but it's a bit of a moot matter to go any further.

[ Yes ] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[ Yes ] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[ Yes ] No red and/or broken links
[ Yes ] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[ Yes ] Reasonably neutral point of view

The submitted article is/does not…
[ No ] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[ No ] Obtusely redundant
[ No ] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[ No ] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[ No ] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[ No ] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[ No ] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[ No ] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[ No ] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[ No ] Lacking Detail
[ No ] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)

The article has…
[ N/A ] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[ N/A ] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[ N/A ] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[ N/A ] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.


Summary
Literally just those two sentence structure issues. A bit too present tense for the latter one, a bit too...clunky for the former.

Status: Approved

Notes


I intend to finish this review by: 5/30/2018

 

[Ametheliana]

SCORE

Fixed

 

[META_mahn]

Fixed = Approved. No further issues.