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The Aurora Mechanism (Amended)

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This review is for: The Aurora Mechanism with URL https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=lo ... _mechanism

The submitted article is/has…
[ ] A general topic sentence under the title header
[X] Artwork (illustrations are strongly encouraged for all spacecraft and handheld items)
[X] Needed and/or useful to the setting
[X] In the proper format/template
[X] Proofread for spelling and grammar
[X] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[ ] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[X] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[X] Reasonably neutral point of view

The submitted article is/does not…
[ ] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[X] Obtusely redundant
[X] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[X] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[ ] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[X] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[?] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[X] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[X] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[X] Lacking Detail

The article has…
[NA] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[NA] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[X] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[NA] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.

To the submitter: Is this a refit or overhaul of a previous article? If yes, provide a link and a list of changes.

I intend to finish this review by: WEDNESDAY APRIL 22

[ ] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
Still evaluating this.
[ ] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
YE 22 and other terms need linkage.
[ ] A general topic sentence under the title header
Self-explanatory
[?] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
Looking at the "upper echelons" and such. Also wondering how this is better than Yamataian aether systems like it claims. I don't see it.
[ ] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
Deciding on the history factor.

Review in progress.
 
Thank-you immensely for proper feedback. It is incredibly rare to see a response so clear-cut and direct ... And useful.

Changes to rectify the problems and outstanding issues will be amended.


Edit:
YE 22 and other terms need linkage.
B.Y.-22 (Before-Yamatai 22, like B.C./Before Christ).
There are no wikifiable years before Yamatai aside from the appalling state of the Pre-History page which is a huge wall of red links that could seriously do with some chaptering and relevance (ie, Pre-History for who? Yamatai? Lor? Nepleslia?)

Looking at the "upper echelons" and such. Also wondering how this is better than Yamataian aether systems like it claims. I don't see it.

Upper echelons: The higher tiers of what the devices variable output is. Like shifting into fifth gear in a manual car with your RPM somewhere in the range of 8000 as opposed to coasting in 3rd.

And in terms of being better, for one it is easier to service and the output is not linear. It is adaptive and the bosons that carry aetheric charge for so called aetheric weapons are used for other useful tasks.

Alone, it is indifferent. It is the range of application.
 
If the power of the pulse or beat is strong enough, the device can reduce the amount of aether going to other devices of a lesser pull - though this only effective against smaller weaker devices like those seen in small fighters and armors.
This doesn't really jive with the way aether works in the setting. I suggest the line be removed.

Because
the charge is lower, however, the fire-detection warning typically comes a little later.
This and the preceding sentence need clarification. Also, the random line breaks should be removed if possible.

Bosons discharge gradually when released into an environment - their charge lost to photons resulting in a gradual release of gamma-radiation and a slow scalar-aether-like decay, lasting 30 days: Aetheric Fallout.
Not feeling too warm toward this area, mainly the "Aetheric" part. Would regular fallout be okay?
 
Aetheric fallout is basically that slow scalar discharge we see in aetheric weapons (the ones that detonate fuel containers, electronics and living cells) -- Albiet much slower. closer to decay.

War needs consequences, Wes.

This doesn't really jive with the way aether works in the setting. I suggest the line be removed.
You said a tab strong enough can reduce what's going to other taps.
That's what's happening here.

This and the preceding sentence need clarification. Also, the random line breaks should be removed if possible.
Alright.
 
Hi there! Now that the dust has settled, I have some setting concerns.

My primary concern is that if that device is approved, we're essentially giving Lorath aether technology (basically superior to Yamatai's tactically, somehow) when the other races who have more players don't even use it?

If it's approved, as a theory and technology, how long is it until there are new warships, designs, and weapons that have SDR 5 level.

I don't have the faith that giving essentially a Lorath aether that is 'lol better' in it's applications should be a free ticket. What assurance do the rest of us have this won't occur, based on the general tendencies that have been shown over the years?

Furthermore, will it be available for sale, and sold off to whomever feels like it as with other weapons?

Approval of this feels like shutting the fox in with the chickens. We'll see single units that can 'pulse' in and disable Yamataian PA's, fighters, etc, and essentially force us with our lesser aether to develop things without aether, which is what a lot of work had tried to force previously? You did say you worked on this with others, and I assume some had that goal in the past.

Even in limited production, this technology can expand to very bad places, and even without expanding, it gives me all of the mentioned worries for the setting. Could you shed some light on that please?

Anyway that's how I feel.

I'll go back in 'mah hole now!
 
I'm worried about the same thing as Lilly and I would like reassurance that this isn't going to end up all over the place.
 
Also, if aether power plants can be shut down by drawing a lot of energy from the aether then aether shock cannons and the like are now going to have the side effect of shutting down all nearby aether generators.
 
Wow. Just WOW.


Wait wait wait. So now, it is a concern that this will make someone a threat? So what if you're forced to make other things. Yamatai restricted aetheric weaponry to start with, monopolizing it, until big Bro Nepleslia managed to get it as well which was justly deserved for them. Leaving everyone else high and dry. -Rubs the bridge of his nose.- Aether shouldn't be the end all, be all, I'm sorry, that's just me it is a great source of energy and all but everything has its own weaknesses. By now, realistically, ways of counteracting it would've sprung up. And have. It is a fact of whom has it that has you worried. Yamatai has it. Nepleslia has it. But once others have it, I'm not going to say. But really.

You're worried over something infinitesimally small in comparison to the things we can develop. Osa is a trustworthy guy, and if The Lorath have a unit or two, big whoop. I've already seen " More Anti-Aether Resistant." springing up in the YSE's stuff. It is more or less worrying over something that wholly shouldn't be worried over.

Also. Aetheric Generators are, commonplace. Yamatai may have developed them first, or got ahold of the designs. But it is entirely possible someone could have improved upon what Yamatai effectively has been king in. If it was improved upon, nothing to fret over.

So what it all boils down to is, possible threat detected, trust needing to be given. Well considering I have a character on Maras, who ICly is a friggen genius, and the simple fact I was going to have her (Don't worry guys, she isn't Lorath. She's Jiyuuian who has a loli goo girl inhabiting her.) delve, and probe it. At this point in time, the Lorath don't even know about the stuff according to current IC events which I've been a part of.

And well. Since when have I gone mad with power, and have more or less destroyed the universe on a whim?

Lilly said:
If it's approved, as a theory and technology, how long is it until there are new warships, designs, and weapons that have SDR 5 level.

We already have them dear. UOC just got one passed. Not with this on it, but we do have SDR 5, which frankly, anyone can have if they got the know how to make something to do so.
 
Ah yes, it comes down to the Lorath being supposed threats once again, lemme lay it down on the table here...

We have aether technology
We have quantum singularity technology
We have transposition technology
We have enough antimatter to blow up every star in the setting, twice
We have self-regenerating armor
We have energy weapons that deal SDR 5
We have torpedoes that deal SDR 5
We have the means to destroy entire systems

Despite all that, I don't use them in that way. I've had all that is needed to make everything bleed, but I have not done so. If you people are going to start accusing the Lorath of being a threat, then you're going to be needing to insert "slowpoke.jpg" because its too late to have that little concern now. Suck it up and deal with it, the Lorath have technology, oh noes.

Instead of worrying about the species that uses their technology carefully, I would suggest more people invest their concerns in the faction which straps planet killing weapons to every ship they have, and has enough anti-anti-everything to overcome any threat. Oh wait, that's another faction other than the Lorath, no one will fret.

Angst aside, relax, chill, everything will be okay, you'll live through this.
 
Yet still not seeing an answer to other points, other than long-winded replies that are overly aggressive or outright rude that say, 'We have that' which, I know, but this is something different. If you have this already, why do you need it approved?

The main tenant and reasoning behind more than my concerns, personally, I feel are not answered by or addressed being condescending in a wall o' text.
 
Well, considering you more or less insulted someone's integrity, and work. You frankly deserved the big wall'o text for that flowery little speech of yours.
 
The really dangerous kit is plot-specific and won't be used outside of that plot and other plots involved with it.

The possibly-mass produced kit provides a weaker but more reliable and stealthier alternative to aether beam-style weapons seen on powered-armor.

The device does not scale up well so big modern starship would need two or maybe three. It's worth noting the thing is almost the size of a V12 engine so it wouldn't fit well on a dinky powered-armor very well (hence why it'll be mounted to a Power Frame).
 
Thanks to Osakanone for providing a legitimate answer.

Submission APPROVED.

No mass production until we discuss it in the GM nook, okay?
 
Of course. I'm not going behind your back, Wes.

I need to talk to Scribbles and find a venue of three planets to work with.
 
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