• If you were supposed to get an email from the forum but didn't (e.g. to verify your account for registration), email Wes at stararmy@gmail.com or talk to me on Discord for help. Sometimes the server hits our limit of emails we can send per hour.
  • Get in our Discord chat! Discord.gg/stararmy

Approved Submission The Devata

Ametheliana

Head in the Stars
Staff Member
🌸 FM of Yamatai
🎖️ Game Master
Submission Type: Ship
Submission URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=iromakuanhe:the_devata

Faction: Iromakuanhe
FM Approved Yet? No
Faction requires art? No

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? No
Contains New art? Yes
Previously Submitted? No

Notes:
Ty @Gunsight1 for the art! This ship is going to be used in @Zack's 188604 plot! Couldn't have been done without @Perilous Siege! Thanks @CadetNewb for steering me around the Mishhu issue! @Wes thanks for running the site! Thanks @Doshii Jun, as well, if you review it, too! Thanks to @Soresu for your past and possibly future thoughts on it.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Upvote 0 Downvote
This suggestion has been implemented. Votes are no longer accepted.
In AR 937, YE 32, The Devata underwent massive overhaul of systems in Nepleslian territory.
Click to expand...
Would this be the first contact for Nepleslia and the Iromakuanhe?

Speed (Sublight): .4c [.35 c with 2 active Nen Caps, .30c with 1 active Nen cap, .25c with zero]
Click to expand...
This doesn't meet the site speed rules. See Starship Speed Standards for what speeds should look like.

This post is not a full review.
 
No, the International Relations Conference was in 936.

As for the other, I'll look into it.

[Edit: Edited to reflect that the IRC was in YE 34. I changed it to reflect the correct information, as I was basing mine off of an old forum post and not the wiki.]
 
Last edited:
I'm getting into it some, but the couple things I see at the get-go:

What is the ship? Is it a corvette? A frigate? Where did it come from? How did it land in private hands? Are there more of the model?

Some of these things are good to answer in "Background and History," but the initial question and its plot information could be stated in a lead paragraph, which you do not have right now. This graf goes above the art.
 
It already said stealth frigate in statistical data.

Sorry about the absence of a lead paragraph. I should have known better. I was just a tad excited to have the artwork stand center-stage. That first graf has been added, though, and should clear up your questions.
 
Please don't used forced line breaks in wiki articles. Can you replace most of these with bullet lists? I helped by doing this for the speed section, for an example. Also try to put at least a little actual text after each section == header == (all sections are supposed to have some text).
 
Hopefully I made all of the appropriate changes. Instead of creating bulleted lists I took out the \\ and it worked out just fine, I hope that is still okay. I added text after every header (unless I missed one or two) even in cases where I questioned if it needed it, I went ahead and did so, anyway.
 
Reactions: Wes
You must log in or register to reply here.
Menu
Log in
Register
Cookies are required to use this site. You must accept them to continue using the site. Learn more…