Approved Submission The Mining Guild's Capital Ship,

[Charaa]

Submission RP Example

https://stararmy.com/roleplay-forum/threads/in-the-business-of-the-mining-guild.70913/page-4

Submission URL

https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=corp:mining_guild:starships:commander

Submission Faction(s)

1. Outlaws (Independent)

Submission Terms

1. I agree

The Mining Guild's capital ship, the Dominion-class Command Ship the MG.S.S Imperium, a ship that serves as a command center for all Mining Guild operations, and as a replacement Headquarters. I wanted this to be slightly smaller than the Polaris-class Ultra Carrier since i didn't want the carrier to.. well carry it. I also left a humorous Easter egg in the page too.

 

[Andrew]

Hello Charaa, Let's go over what needs to be done to get this article approved.

Checklist​

• [ ] 1. The destination URL should be a page in the appropriate namespace and titled lower_case_with_underscores
  • Dominion-Class Starship: MG.S.S Imperium on Star Army Space Roleplay should be wip:corp:mining_guild:starships:dominion_class_command_ship
  • being specific in the your titles will help the wiki search engine find it
• [ ] 2. The article is in the appropriate format and the article template. Is all the information for struct present?
  • Many sections of the article, much like Wes mentioned in an earlier comment on a submission read like advertising or marketing articles vs a factual encyclopedia, a lot of phrases like state-of-the-art, and cutting-edge give this impression.
• [] 3. The article follows our wiki-style guidelines, including No forced line breaks, text after each section header, etc.
• [] 5. Links to other wiki articles are present as appropriate and are not broken
  • There are many opportunities missed here for linking words in, things like Mining Guild, etc. The more an article is linked to others in the wiki the more cohesive to the universe that it is.
• [] 7. Images in the article are hosted on Star Army's wiki and credited in the OOC section.
  • There is not credits made to where the art is from in the OOC section.
• [ ] 8. The article is original and doesn't contain copy-pasted content from other articles.
• [ ] 9. The article complies with Star Army's rules in terms of damage ratings, speed limits, etc.
• [ ] 10. The Faction Manager(s), if applicable, have posted approval for this article in this thread.

Other Reviewer Tasks​

• Nomenclature should be MG-B1-1A or MG-X1-1A if it is a unique prototype ship.
• Pricing on the page says 10 billion, 10billion what? 10 Billion KS? Price should be in KS. Do you think that cost is reasonable? Remember we come up with prices even if the product isn't being sold, it just gives us a realistic view of its value.

Things to consider (not required for approval)​

• Your articles are very long in the tooth, due to the fact that it is AI doing most of the work (per AI detector 91% of this article were written by AI). It would be nice if the Mining Guild could follow suit with the rest of the factions on SARP that have standardized systems and interiors that easily link into the article. The length of the articles you have been submitting are in my opinion less useful to new players because they are so long and drawn out.
• If you are going to use AI, perhaps it would be best to consider rewording what is generated using your own words so that it will be more factual encyclopedia-like rather than a large marketing campaign.
• It would be great if this ship had a construction story behind it that lasted over a period of time, due to the fact this is a big/monumental construction effort by the Mining Guild. I see you provided a RP example, which is good enough for approval but it would of been nice to see a story about it being built, and maybe include other players who come to see this new monumental project completed.

Some good things about this article​

• Article is marked as a green smile at the bottom meaning it follows our standards.
• Very informative.
• The AI Art is nice and reflects what is explained on the pages.
• The article has everything needed for struct to be filled out.

 

[Charaa]

Hiya Andrew,

thank you for taking this on!

[*][ ] 1. The destination URL should be a page in the appropriate namespace and titled lower_case_with_underscores

• Dominion-Class Starship: MG.S.S Imperium on Star Army Space Roleplay should be wip:corp:mining_guild:starships:dominion_class_command_ship
• being specific in the your titles will help the wiki search engine find it

I mostly made it ending in commander, mostly to make it easier but I’ve made a edit to the namespace now

[*][ ] 2. The article is in the appropriate format and the article template. Is all the information for struct present?

• Many sections of the article, much like Wes mentioned in an earlier comment on a submission read like advertising or marketing articles vs a factual encyclopedia, a lot of phrases like state-of-the-art, and cutting-edge give this impression.

I have attempted to go through and removed mentions of state of the art and cutting edge from the page

[*][] 3. The article follows our wiki-style guidelines, including No forced line breaks, text after each section header, etc.

[*][] 5. Links to other wiki articles are present as appropriate and are not broken

• There are many opportunities missed here for linking words in, things like Mining Guild, etc. The more an article is linked to others in the wiki the more cohesive to the universe that it is.

[*][] 7. Images in the article are hosted on Star Army's wiki and credited in the OOC section.

• There is not credits made to where the art is from in the OOC section.

I had linked as much as I could, The Mining Guild is linked at the top, and added credits to the link at the ooc section



.

[/LIST]

Other Reviewer Tasks​

• Nomenclature should be MG-B1-1A or MG-X1-1A if it is a unique prototype ship.
• Pricing on the page says 10 billion, 10billion what? 10 Billion KS? Price should be in KS. Do you think that cost is reasonable? Remember we come up with prices even if the product isn't being sold, it just gives us a realistic view of its value.

EDITED, the nomenclature, and added Ls to the pricing. as for the cost, I have no clue, I hope it is.

Things to consider (not required for approval)​

• Your articles are very long in the tooth, due to the fact that it is AI doing most of the work (per AI detector 91% of this article were written by AI). It would be nice if the Mining Guild could follow suit with the rest of the factions on SARP that have standardized systems and interiors that easily link into the article. The length of the articles you have been submitting are in my opinion less useful to new players because they are so long and drawn out.
• If you are going to use AI, perhaps it would be best to consider rewording what is generated using your own words so that it will be more factual encyclopedia-like rather than a large marketing campaign.

• 
  
  mainely when I make the pages, what I do is write what I want to add in the places, but before that I add the words please expand on the following, but during location focus which I’d like to do once everything is through NTSE eyes, I may add interiors, but it does have some standard systems (jusst not pages for the power systems ).
  
  

  [*]It would be great if this ship had a construction story behind it that lasted over a period of time, due to the fact this is a big/monumental construction effort by the Mining Guild. I see you provided a RP example, which is good enough for approval but it would of been nice to see a story about it being built, and maybe include other players who come to see this new monumental project completed.

Sadly I don’t have players in the Mining Guild, I may do a open thread, and especially I am interested in doing a jp with you, since yugumo and the Motoyoshi are allies of the Mining Guild.

Some good things about this article​

• Article is marked as a green smile at the bottom meaning it follows our standards.
• Very informative.
• The AI Art is nice and reflects what is explained on the pages.
• The article has everything needed for struct to be filled out.

I’m glad

 

[Andrew]

Hello! Let's see if this submission meets the requirements for inclusion in Star Army's lore...

[ ] 1. The destination URL should be a page in the appropriate namespace and titled lower_case_with_underscores
[ ] 2. The article is in the appropriate format and the article template. Is all the information for struct present?
[ ] 3. The article follows our wiki-style guidelines, including No forced line breaks, text after each section header, etc.
[ ] 4. The article is easily read and free of errors in spelling and grammar
[ ] 5. Links to other wiki articles are present as appropriate and are not broken
[ ] 6. The article fits into the Star Army universe's space opera theme and technology levels.
[ ] 7. Images in the article are hosted on Star Army's wiki and credited in the OOC section.
[ ] 8. The article is original and doesn't contain copy-pasted content from other articles.
[ ] 9. The article complies with Star Army's rules in terms of damage ratings, speed limits, etc.
[ ] 10. The Faction Manager(s), if applicable, have posted approval for this article in this thread.

This submission is approved. Once it is moved out of WIP you will need to fill out struct and link it into other pages as needed.