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The Mule Ultra-light Freighter

Lamb

Lamb

Ovine Member
Inactive Member
Okay guys, here it is: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=or ... _freighter

So, this was my idea, but Kai did far more work than I did on it. As seen by the relatively seductive DoGA models and the actually reasonable numbers. However, since it is my baby and he just raised it, I submit it before you in all such tech submission mercy.

PS: Kai, I hope I didn't ruin your reputation by putting your name in with this thing. Sorry buddy!
 
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Before doing an official Review, three big items I noticed right off

Missing a general topic sentence under the title header
Needs to be Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
Missing the in-character year of creation/manufacture.

Later this morning I will do a more indepth review.
Nashoba
 
This review is for: Mule Ultralight Freighter

The submitted article is/has…
[x] A general topic sentence under the title header
[x] Artwork (illustrations are strongly encouraged for all spacecraft and handheld items)
[x] Needed and/or useful to the setting
[x] In the proper format/template
[-] Proofread for spelling and grammar
[x] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[-] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[x] No red and/or broken links
[x] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[x] Reasonably neutral point of view

The submitted article is/does not…
[x] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[x] Obtusely redundant
[x] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[x] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[x] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[x] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[x] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[x] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[x] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[-] Lacking Detail
[x] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)

The article has…
[x] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[-] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[x] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[x] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.


Summary
Note here if any serious issues are present. These are the issues that will hold up approval.

Mispelling: buisinessmen, Orginizations,

Wikified: Durandium should be linked

Lacking Details: What ships are capable of having this freighter fly into it.
What kind of Ion engines does it use?
What kind of CDD does it have?
What kind of Hyperdrive?
What is the Power source for the craft?
Threshold is not listed for shields.
How big is the cargo area? How many SSCC's can it carry?
What is the price of this ship?

Status: Approved.

Notes

All issues resolved.
 
I see six engine nozzles and what could be three to four engines. What are the numbers, exactly?

Also, the damage rating for the turret is outdated. Is that ADR4? SDR4?
 
The Turret should be rated at 2 SDR2, not SDR4. that is a misunderstanding of the DR system by Lam, he seems to have thought that sticking two guns onto one turret gave that turret 2x the DR.
 
I may need a little more information before I edit any more. Actually, I DO need more info:

There is a price listed under the stats and performance header. It is 24,000 KS. If that's too much, too little, or even in the wrong place, I need to know.

As to the details on the engines, what specifically were you wanting to know? Brand names, manufacturers? Or are there actually just as many types of Continuum Distortion Drives as there are types of FTL engines in general? I'm a little bit confused by this.

Everything else has been or will be fixed after I get some sleep.
 
I think he means you need a heading under systems explaining the CDD drive and specifics such as how large of a 'bubble' it can create, etc. same with the Fold drive. Seeing as CDD and Fold bubbles can be used to tow things, this may be important at some point.
 
Actually when it came to the Engines, I was wanting to know the manufacturer, and specific version.

There are just a few minor nits,
You mention a couple of options, but no pricing or description.

This needs to be described as well as a price
However, an attachment can be purchased cheaply for inner portion of the front section so that it can be docked with other vessels incapable of housing it.
Click to expand...

While this doesn't really need a description, it does need to have a price listed.
An entire room-for-room climate control system can be purchased for an extra fee.
Click to expand...

Once these are done, you'll be good to go.
 
Upon attempting to properly describe the device I had in mind, I saw that it really couldn't work without taking up way too much space, so, I converted it instead to an airlock system so people can just carry the cargo into open space, etc. As long as they have space suits, of course; sold separately. If this isn't satisfactory, I may just do away with the whole concept entirely.

Prices have been added to the non-standard features.

I'm still unsure as to what you're asking for on these engines. I can't seem to find a wide variety of specific engines that have their own articles. Nor can I find a list of engines. I know it's a detail, but I'm not sure how it would help if the engines already have an ample description. All I'm doing is putting a name to that description.

If I can make my own though, I'd like to use "FASTECH". Cuz it sounds like a cool name for a company that makes engines.

"FASTECH: Propelling you to success!"
 
I've been wanting to design my own line of engines for a while... Perhaps Origin can open a division named Fastech.

For now, and what has been fine in the past (don't know why it's such an issue now, suddenly) I've just been giving generic descriptions of the generic articles for the types of engines I use in my submissions. try going with that. Or maybe even linking to said articles.
 
Kai,
The Engines is not a big issue, to be honest. Its just I know you recently added the Inline Aether to Plasma Drive to Origin's product line, was not sure if you had any other origin designed engines that he was using.

I fixed a weird character issue 4,fi200 KS that appeared in the life support option.

Approved.
 
Thank you for your patience and effort. And Kai, thank you once again for doing all the work and pretending like you were just helping out here and there.

Today: a very small freighter. Tommorow: FFFFASSSTECH!!!!
 
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