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The Troyan War
Presented by the Romero Theatre of Performing Arts
Soundtrack: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwiwQTb ... jJ&index=1 (suggested by DocTomoe)
Dramatis Personae
Bernhard Greer – Bernados, Prince of the Murderdons
Laura Romero – Laurania, Queen of Amazons
Dominic Valken – Dominios, High King of the Aikeans
Valencia Ironside – Valencia, Amazon Warrior-Queen, his wife
Leon Santiago – Leonike, King of Santiago
Sawyer Aubrey – Aubreuos, Prince of Troy
Luca Pavone – Pavones, King of Feenicks
Phaedra Volkov – Phaedra, Queen of Santiago
Talbain – Talbanos, from some thundery mountain
Old Salt – Old Salty the Wise
Henry Morris – Moriseus, King of Doshington
Vladimirus Corcyra – Corcyrus, King of Troy
Wulfe Stones – Battle captain Stonesy
Darryl Murdoch – Darrylius, King of Headquartus
Flint Vanderhuge - Vanderhuge
Charlie Coast – Coastus, King of Wolfen
Pyros Westwood – Pyrozeus, Supreme God
Book 1
Sing to me, O Jukebox of Fury,
of those years of strife whence heroes clashed,
and a thousand dark ships set sail to revenge the slight
to noble Aikean pride!
Sing to me of the men and armies,
when a thousand times itself of men marched to war
for the sake of a single woman!
Sing of those heroes, who took up sword and shield,
spear and bow, to defend their honor and homes!
Recount their names, from that neverending roll call,
they who set themselves apart by their deeds and glory won!
Bernados, Prince of the Murderdons, son of a goddess,
who sailed with dread purpose,
and whose wrath caused both armies pause!
Or mighty Pavones, who caused the earth to tremble
at his roar!
Tell us of great Talbanos, he who shook the walls of Troy!
Brave, noble warriors all who set out for honor and glory!
Sing to me of the great Kings of Old:
Ruthless Dominios and noble Leonike,
Proud King Corcyrus, who doomed his country
by refusing to surrender the silver-haired beauty,
she who was responsible for the conflict!
Yet how was he to know of the ancient pact made by
the hotheaded kings of Aikea?
Was it not fate?
Nay, for ‘twas the cunning design of the great God, Pyrozeus,
to rid Nepleslia of its overflowing population in a single great war.
For all the world was his stage, and all the mortals his actors,
in the great drama to unfold.
At its center, Phaedra, the young beauty whose flowing silver hair
stole the breath of men, and whose voice captured their tongues,
and whose smile bent their wills to her own.
For whom, a thousand ships would sail
and upon a thousand thousand warriors’ lips as a battlecry.
She had the pick of suitors for her hand,
lords and kings, famous knights from near and far,
all had gather before the woman, eager to make her their own.
In the end, she chose the powerful Leonike, king of Santiago,
who had gifted her with simple words and fine jewelry.
He was older than she, and a surprise choice,
for he was thought a warrior-king, too rough to woo such a maiden.
With her betrothal to Leonike, the pact was sealed;
all of Phaedra’s would-be suitors pledged to aid Leonike
if his marriage to Phaedra was threatened.
So the happy couple travelled together to Santiago,
accompanied by an escort of the greatest warriors,
and bound for a happy life.
Yet Fate was to trick the couple and Deceit,
ever present and cunning, worked his trade.
For the next year, ambassadors from distant Troy made call.
At their head, a Prince of Troy, Aubreuos, tall and handsome,
with charm and youthful vigor.
Three scores of men, warriors and diplomats, was the embassy
alongside them, yet more dancing and musical slaves
who graced the halls of Santiago’s marble palace with their gaiety.
Well received was the embassy of Aubreuos,
who bore olive branches of peace and prosperity
and the promise of trade with distant, foreign lands.
While Leonike tended to all of his guests,
Aubreuos only had eyes for another host:
the stunning Phaedra had stolen his heart the moment he saw her.
But naught could develop while the merry Leonike attended every function,
so Pyrozeus arranged for Leonike to be taken away,
his attention required to quell a sudden rebellion in the hinterlands.
With the great king went much of his army, brave and bold warriors,
leaving the white marble walls of his palace a lonesome place.
Thereupon, Aubreuos, Prince of Troy, stole his away into Phaedra’s heart,
warming her young, fickle heart with promises of even greater wealth
and warming her bed with his manhood.
‘Twas an easy feat while her husband was warring afield,
his loyal and watchful retainers at his side
with few guards and only the Queen’s handmaidens in the palace,
for none of the Queen’s servants would betray their mistress
and ‘twas a few who knew of the bold treachery hatched by the two.
When gallant Leonike and his victorious army returned,
‘twas to an empty palace.
The great king stormed through his home,
Searching high and low for his wife and wealth.
But neither was to be found.
First came the sorrow,
manly tears of sadness rolled down the great king’s face.
Then came the rage, white hot and terrible.
For thirty days and nights, the great king was blinded by fury,
and only whence his brother wrestled him to the ground,
did he return to calmness, an empty shell.
“We shall invoke the ancient pact! Let us gather the mighty armies of all Aikea,
And make Troy remember the day it stole our women!”
For it was a most heinous crime to steal women from their husbands or boyfriends.
All who received the call took up righteous arms,
Ready to avenge the slight and return Phaedra to her rightful place
And more joined, eager for glory and plunder.
So that then a great armada of a thousand ships, each with a thousand men
Set forth to reclaim the errant Queen.
O Great Jukebox, tell us their names and count their spears!
Those brave, foolhardy men who leapt into war with joyful hearts!
In the van, there sailed Prince Stanislaus, of distant Funky Town, with fifty ships,
And the proud battle-captain Stonesy with another twenty five ships,
Leading them was the mighty Pavones,
rumored to be the son of the god of Awesomeness,
with a further hundred ships at his command.
Each battle ship cutting a sharp figure on the waves,
heralds for the great force following.
For behind them sailed the host of Aikean manhood,
at their head was the High King himself, clad in his gold battle armor.
And at his side, his Amazonian Warrior-Queen, whom he had bested in single combat,
who was forced to agree that he was not just a dick.
With her long, fire red hair and crimson armor,
Queen Valencia was to be counted amongst the greatest of Aikea’s champions.
None could match the High King’s fleet of two hundred ships.
Beside the High King, sailed the dark vessels of Leonike.
All of Santiago’s proud warriors had mustered to revenge their King.
A full hundred and fifty ships they brought, each warrior dressed in black
just as their King, who donned the color of death.
And all but the oldest or youngest were aboard, chanting for war.
For none could outdo them in their craft.
Lest they be the Murderdons, greatest of warrior breeds.
Each was able to best ten men in single combat,
none could hurl a spear farther or strike harder with sword.
Unless it be their captain, Prince Bernados,
son of a woman who might as well be a goddess,
and a father whose hands brought new life to each patient.
By a bitter twist of fate, the healing hands had not passed from father to son,
passing instead hands that sent souls to meet grey Hades.
Fifty ships sailed under the great Prince’s command with full crew.
Next was the cunning Moriseus,
Strate-magician and builder of things for the army.
No one could fathom his labyrinthine mind,
nor predict his unpredictable tactics.
His quick mind earned him the respect of other, greater warriors.
From far off Doshington, he brought fifty ships.
There followed the ships of Darrylius, hardy veteran of a thousand battles,
and loyal warrior of Dominios.
His tenacity and great size made him the next greatest warrior,
of the Aikean host, only Bernados surpassed him.
From Headquartus, he brought seventy-five ships.
Then came the host of Coastus, great king of Wolfen,
a hundred ships with warriors bearing the sigil of a wolf,
ready to reclaim Phaedra for her true husband.
In their wake, the fifty black ships of wise Old Salty,
revered as the wisest of rulers in Aikea and learned in all matters.
T’was believed only he could outdo the cunning Moriseus in strate-magery
Or lead soldiers more faithfully than Bernados.
Next was Talbanos, mighty Talbanos, thunderer of mountains.
At the head of fifty ships, his army were a sight to behold,
tall, silent, stern warriors armored from head to toe,
with spears twice the height of a man.
Many of the Aikean host believed that one of such men could best a Murderdon
and that mighty Talbanos was a greater warrior than Prince Bernados.
Last came the great host of Vanderhuge,
warriors who brought with them aggression unfettered.
Of these warriors, upon fifty ships, all to a man
were eager to plunder the riches of Corcyrus’ treasure vaults.
Thieves and scoundrels, roughshod and ill-bred men of poor bearing,
but led by a man of such great stature and courage that obedience was total.
Such was the host assembled in Aikea,
that landed upon Troy’s distant shores.
A thousand black ships, beached upon the white shores,
out of whom leapt a thousand warriors each,
spear and shield in hand.
