Approved Submission Vekimen Martial Art: Vekryu

This review is for: Vekryu

The submitted article is/has…
[x] A very high level of overall quality
[x] A general topic sentence under the title header
[-] Artwork (Required for new species; Strongly recommended for vehicles and hand weapons)\\
[x] Needed and/or useful to the setting
[x] In the proper format/template
[x] Proofread for spelling and grammar
[x] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[-] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[x] No red and/or broken links
[x] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[x] Reasonably neutral point of view

The submitted article is/does not…
[x] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[x] Obtusely redundant
[x] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[x] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[x] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[/] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[/] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[x] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[x] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[/] Lacking Detail
[ ] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)

The article has…
[-] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[-] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[-] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[-] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.

Notes
There's some second-person language in Nratan that can be eliminated.
Also:

"aside from a small few who can switch between the six with fluidity and grace"

Click to expand...

Take out the "with fluidity and grace;" that's something a player and GM can really decide.

The styles seem to compliment each other more than really stand alone, and I want to make sure that's the expectation, as some of the fluff above that suggests that most Vekimen come to styles naturally. I.e. the six put together feel like a complete martial art, while apart they feel smaller and piecemeal.

This submission is pending.

Yes, that is the expectation. These styles are more "Focuses" in fighting rather than styles. They called them "Styles" rather hastily, because of their a little angry regarding a comment made by Tsukisaki Valesti which goes along the lines of...

"I should not have expected a simple logistics officer of a small, insignificant colony of feral animals to understand how to handle a weapon"

Edtoto has been keeping track of things that happen on the YSS Heartbreaker, and the Vekimen, despite knowing Edtoto was unsure to the actual hostility of the comment despite still being angry about it, are admittedly a bit ticked off regarding the comment made.

I corrected the notes you made, but yes. This wasn't classified as a martial art simply because this is just how the Vekimen fought. The VDTF took some time to think about if there were "Styles" to it, and discovered some Vekimen favored different aspects of the natural "Killing Machine" or "Agile Scout" Vekimen can be. Half the styles focus on killing your opponent, one involves running away, one involves subduing your attacker, and one just focuses on using their tail which not all Vekimen Favor.

Take Edtoto, she focuses heavily on Zanom and Taromai styles being a very aggressive, wild fighter who doesn't spare any expense to keep her opponent on the defensive, but once she goes on the defense, she falters.

Zion 'Sivaro who I am currently building though doesn't have that same focus. Of course, she is a prodigy for hand to hand which is why she is being sent to this school.

Gowen 'Laderen would be better at Srafume and Gentak due to not actually wanting to hurt people.

I will also add later that "Honour" is not at all a focus of this. This is win the fight regardless of tactics used, Gentak is just frowned on because it's Dirty even to the Vekimen if used fully. I'll add more information to all of them as I continue the Martial Arts Thread Reynolds is doing, where I feel is a perfect place to expand on all of them. Maybe they will soon earn their rights as individual styles under Zion's time there. But this was just to get that basis down so that people had an idea of the Martial Art.

Approved.