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Approved Submission VF-41 Sparrowhawk

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Blegh, I can't believe I forgot to list them as unapproved sub articles, that's completely on me! Please, do review them. I think I've addressed everything else.
 
  • The armor section description is actually above the heading for armor
  • I see the sensor system is from Axis, they're not listed in the companies that worked on this, so are you using something with similar specs to the axis sensor array, or are you using the axis sensor array(and if so do you have permission?)
  • I'll handle those weapons once I make sure the main article is in order, so we're taking it one at a time and no confusion.
 
  1. Fixed the Armor section
  2. Like in the past with other OHI mecha, they've outsourced on certain components before, buying what they couldn't make themselves. I can tag @Legix, who handled the who allowed me to use Axis products in the past, but I don't see why it would be an issue when this particular piece of equipment has been purchased and used on older OHI mecha. In this case, it was chosen because it was one of the few sensor suites that actually had stats on it that I could find that was commercially available. If need be, I could probably switch it over to a component from within Yamatai and ask @Nashoba, (Though OHI has also used Tamahagane products in its past designs as well).
 
In this case (after careful reading and backlink checking), I am not opposed to the use of Axis Mechworks' sensor in this as it's not something used in any current military unit/application for SMDioN or any Nepleslian power. Seems like a clear-cut, perfectly fine use of our corporations. As long as this doesn't spawn/backflow into another faction developing technology from our basis, FM Approved from me on the Axis sensors.

In the future, please tag a Nepleslian FM for using something we own/manage, even if there's precedent ICly to do it. I normally don't care about withholding it as long as it looks proper and straightforward like this does, but we need to be alerted to things using assets from our faction no matter how small.
 
Okay looking at the Torrent;
  • It's ammo capacity, says 300 rounds consecutively before overheat, but 'consecutively' can mean lots of things we need a time period it can fire that in.
  • There are two 'features' that need to be listed in a features section for the sake of clarity and transparency.
    • As mentioned before one of those is it's ability to fire while mounted on the fuselage of the sparrowhawk. Unless it is changing configuration while the Sparrowhawk is transforming, it'd still be a handheld weapon so how is it firing? That needs to be explained.
    • Second is the fact that is is configurable, I know it's mentioned in the article, but it's not actually listed statistically that it can be configured into different grips. So a person could be confused if the mounted and handheld forms are interchangeable, or if you buy it one way and it's stuck like that forever.
 
Alright, I think I've addressed all of those issues, as well as made it clear that it's able to be bought as just a barebones version.
 
Okay since the missile article is literally just the missile, on the sparrowhawk, we need some more info about the launchers, like what's their firing capacity? So they have all 40 in separate tubes? Or are some stacked? Things like that.
 
Each of the two missile bays on the back of the craft has a capacity of 40 total missiles, which is explained in the article, and no stacking. Would including a picture of the arrangement in the article be necessary?
 
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The picture could help, and I know the missile pods hold 40 missiles. But What I'm saying is all we know about the missile pods is "They hold 40 missiles" from the article. We don't know how big the salvo is, or things like that. The missiles have the 'ammunition' data on their page, but we need the 'gun data' so to speak, if that makes any sense.
 
I've always handled missiles as "The pilot fires as many as they want out of however many they have remaining" rather than constraining potential users to a volley size, so as to account for different playstyles and situations.
 
Well just make a note that it can fire all 40 then (Cause not every missile bay in setting can fire it's full payload at once)
 
[ ] 1. The destination URL should be a page in the appropriate namespace and titled lower_case_with_underscores
[ ] 2. The article is in the appropriate format and article template
[ ] 3. The article follows our wiki-style guidelines, including No forced line breaks, text after each section header, etc.
[ ] 4. The article is easily read and free of errors in spelling and grammar
[ ] 5. Links to other wiki articles are present as appropriate and are not broken
[ ] 6. The article fits into the Star Army universe's space opera theme and technology levels
[ ] 7. Images in the article are hosted on Star Army's wiki and sourced responsibly (contact Wes privately if there's a concern)
[ ] 8. The article is original and doesn't contain copy-pasted content from other articles.
[ ] 9. The article complies with Star Army's rules in terms of damage ratings, speed limits, etc.
[ ] 10. The Faction Manager(s), if applicable, have posted approval for this article in this thread.


APPROVED
 
I just realized that I completely forgot to add any STL space speeds, so I added them. Would you be so kind as to take a look at them and give the thumbs up/thumbs down?
 
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