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Approved Character Wavrian
- Thread starter Kassidy
- Start date
Kassidy, I've PM'd the creator of the Azorians to review your character before I step in. He should get to it by tomorrow. Thanks for your patience.
Fay
Well-Known Member
I apologize for not getting to this sooner. I'll go through this as orderly as possible:
1) Minor error: "Ares" instead of "Aries" in the Zodiac Sign.
2) I am unsure if the UOC ever signed a peace treaty with the Azoreans are not. It was unconcluded, last I checked. Thus, I'd like the second opinion from one of the UOC GMs please. If you can get one of them to sponsor this character for their plot, I'd appreciate it.
3) I have to admit that I never specified if an Azorean could have white eyes or not.. but I'd prefer it be gray, at least... especially if he will be working for another faction other then his own. Having noticeably special features such as pure white eyes will be a strange first impression for people, whom will believe that all of his species have such anomalies. My recommendation is to change it, but because I never stated otherwise, I'll give you the option of keeping it.
4) For the record, Yuki Toshiro didn't destroy the Nepleslian ship. Hanako did. He did, however, warn her of its presence. Thus, I can understand where some people (especially local media) may get confused by this. Do you want your character to be misguided anyways? Also, what does the scar look like? A rough description of the pattern on his arm should be sufficient.
5) In the Pre-RP, could you possibly explain what his childhood and overall life was like before he left? Was he a smithy? Fisherman? Windsurfer? Also, how did he get off of Azorea? I don't think that the UOC has any ships heading there, and the Azoreans themselves don't have any ships fast enough to get to UOC territory before the end of their lifetimes.
6) In Humanities, you put "Commonwealth" twice... but the UOC isn't a Commonwealth. A simply, mistake via dyslexia, I'm sure. I do that all of the time, myself.
7) I'd think that UOC personnel require first aid training, so you should probably put that in there as well. I'll leave non-Azorean stuff like that to Doshii, though.
8) Again, the term "Commonwealth" is used in the Communications skill section.
9) I recommend asking his CO ICly if it would be okay to sew a UOC patch on his Ikonmoud. It'd help keep him hydrated a lot better then just dragging twenty bottles of water around. ^^;
10) Did he leave behind all of his Azorean currency as well?
So far so good. Keep up the good work! You are one step closer to being approved... however, I cannot approve of this character just yet. My apologies.
1) Minor error: "Ares" instead of "Aries" in the Zodiac Sign.
2) I am unsure if the UOC ever signed a peace treaty with the Azoreans are not. It was unconcluded, last I checked. Thus, I'd like the second opinion from one of the UOC GMs please. If you can get one of them to sponsor this character for their plot, I'd appreciate it.
3) I have to admit that I never specified if an Azorean could have white eyes or not.. but I'd prefer it be gray, at least... especially if he will be working for another faction other then his own. Having noticeably special features such as pure white eyes will be a strange first impression for people, whom will believe that all of his species have such anomalies. My recommendation is to change it, but because I never stated otherwise, I'll give you the option of keeping it.
4) For the record, Yuki Toshiro didn't destroy the Nepleslian ship. Hanako did. He did, however, warn her of its presence. Thus, I can understand where some people (especially local media) may get confused by this. Do you want your character to be misguided anyways? Also, what does the scar look like? A rough description of the pattern on his arm should be sufficient.
5) In the Pre-RP, could you possibly explain what his childhood and overall life was like before he left? Was he a smithy? Fisherman? Windsurfer? Also, how did he get off of Azorea? I don't think that the UOC has any ships heading there, and the Azoreans themselves don't have any ships fast enough to get to UOC territory before the end of their lifetimes.
6) In Humanities, you put "Commonwealth" twice... but the UOC isn't a Commonwealth. A simply, mistake via dyslexia, I'm sure. I do that all of the time, myself.
7) I'd think that UOC personnel require first aid training, so you should probably put that in there as well. I'll leave non-Azorean stuff like that to Doshii, though.
8) Again, the term "Commonwealth" is used in the Communications skill section.
9) I recommend asking his CO ICly if it would be okay to sew a UOC patch on his Ikonmoud. It'd help keep him hydrated a lot better then just dragging twenty bottles of water around. ^^;
10) Did he leave behind all of his Azorean currency as well?
So far so good. Keep up the good work! You are one step closer to being approved... however, I cannot approve of this character just yet. My apologies.
Thanks! I'll get to work on fixing it up. 
Would it be reasonable to expect that the Nepleslians might take a bright young lad like Wavrian with them when they picked up their comrade and his ship? From there, Wavrian could join up with the UOC after some time traveling with the Nepleslians.
Would it be reasonable to expect that the Nepleslians might take a bright young lad like Wavrian with them when they picked up their comrade and his ship? From there, Wavrian could join up with the UOC after some time traveling with the Nepleslians.
Kim
スター軍の司書
We (the UOC) actually never went that far North and...we actually never finalized a treaty with Azorea so I'm not too sure how an Azorean would be able to get to our area of space since they have just gained space flight themselves. :/
I would allow an Azorean into the Peacekeeping Forces if they could somehow get to the UOC on their own. I'd also think think that their training would take longer considering it's a completely different level of technology and...language.
I would allow an Azorean into the Peacekeeping Forces if they could somehow get to the UOC on their own. I'd also think think that their training would take longer considering it's a completely different level of technology and...language.
SUBLIMEinal
Well-Known Member
The Nepleslians that came to pick up the downed Malchik were all IPG. In other words, hardcore Spec Ops types. They wouldn't have picked up a random alien on one of their ships, and if they had, it probably would've been only for interrogation or vivisection, not for a free ride.
I'm pretty sure Yamatai has established trade routes with Azorea, and maybe even some freelancers from the Nepleslian colonial expanse, so you could use one of those groups to move him off Azorea.
I'm pretty sure Yamatai has established trade routes with Azorea, and maybe even some freelancers from the Nepleslian colonial expanse, so you could use one of those groups to move him off Azorea.
Fay
Well-Known Member
It'd probably be a good idea RP-wise to make him a little younger... Although, any younger then 25 and he'd not have any gray on him.
Thank you, Kim, for refreshing my memory. I hope we can get that finished eventually.. but Andrew's slight absence is making that a little difficult. ^^;
The history is still a little.. bare. It needs a little more fleshing out, but I'm afraid that is a little difficult with the information given to you by the wiki... Do you think that you can write any more?
Thank you, Kim, for refreshing my memory. I hope we can get that finished eventually.. but Andrew's slight absence is making that a little difficult. ^^;
The history is still a little.. bare. It needs a little more fleshing out, but I'm afraid that is a little difficult with the information given to you by the wiki... Do you think that you can write any more?
I could bring him down to 23 and remove the gray collar bones. Not like he'll be running around shirtless often, anyhow. :]
As for writing up more in his history, sure thing! I'll look over some other character profiles to see if they'll inspire me and give me an idea about what sorts of things you might be looking for.
As for writing up more in his history, sure thing! I'll look over some other character profiles to see if they'll inspire me and give me an idea about what sorts of things you might be looking for.
