I apologize for not getting to this sooner. I'll go through this as orderly as possible:
1) Minor error: "Ares" instead of "Aries" in the Zodiac Sign.
2) I am unsure if the UOC ever signed a peace treaty with the Azoreans are not. It was unconcluded, last I checked. Thus, I'd like the second opinion from one of the UOC GMs please. If you can get one of them to sponsor this character for their plot, I'd appreciate it.
3) I have to admit that I never specified if an Azorean could have white eyes or not.. but I'd prefer it be gray, at least... especially if he will be working for another faction other then his own. Having noticeably special features such as pure white eyes will be a strange first impression for people, whom will believe that all of his species have such anomalies. My recommendation is to change it, but because I never stated otherwise, I'll give you the option of keeping it.
4) For the record, Yuki Toshiro didn't destroy the Nepleslian ship. Hanako did. He did, however, warn her of its presence. Thus, I can understand where some people (especially local media) may get confused by this. Do you want your character to be misguided anyways? Also, what does the scar look like? A rough description of the pattern on his arm should be sufficient.
5) In the Pre-RP, could you possibly explain what his childhood and overall life was like before he left? Was he a smithy? Fisherman? Windsurfer? Also, how did he get off of Azorea? I don't think that the UOC has any ships heading there, and the Azoreans themselves don't have any ships fast enough to get to UOC territory before the end of their lifetimes.
6) In Humanities, you put "Commonwealth" twice... but the UOC isn't a Commonwealth. A simply, mistake via dyslexia, I'm sure. I do that all of the time, myself.
7) I'd think that UOC personnel require first aid training, so you should probably put that in there as well. I'll leave non-Azorean stuff like that to Doshii, though.
8) Again, the term "Commonwealth" is used in the Communications skill section.
9) I recommend asking his CO ICly if it would be okay to sew a UOC patch on his Ikonmoud. It'd help keep him hydrated a lot better then just dragging twenty bottles of water around. ^^;
10) Did he leave behind all of his Azorean currency as well?
So far so good. Keep up the good work! You are one step closer to being approved... however, I cannot approve of this character just yet. My apologies.