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Weaponized Kawaii

Jimmy

Jimmy

Lover of Purple
Inactive Member
Straight out of the nightmares of an insane criminal mastermind, comes one of the most nefarious inventions this galaxy has ever known.

THE SQUEEING DEATH.

Who knew one day of ODing on life would lead to the bullying that created this page. I've attempted to not make the article too serious, and the kawaii themselves are quite unreliable. They're mainly in for a bit of fun, and to help a bad guy (or PC) "kick the dog" as far as evilness goes.

The kawaii are still maleble enough to be nerfed/buffed, and none of it is really new material apart from the application. Over time I may put up a few more variants, but those will probably come in seperate submission threads as sub articles.
 
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This review is for: Weaponized Kawaii

The submitted article is/has…
[X] A general topic sentence under the title header Not a sentence, just a fragment
[ ] Artwork (illustrations are required for Starships, Vehicles, Hand weapons or Small Arms, Uniforms for military forces or large corporations and new alien species not from the race of the day CCG) No art
[ ] Needed and/or useful to the setting Really?
[ ] In the proper format/template Forced line breaks ( \\ ) were used
[ ] Proofread for spelling and grammar Not spellchecked, it's/its errors
[ ] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble) See above. Bullets should be used.
[ ] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link) Black Market link
[X] No red and/or broken links
[ ] Reasonably scientifically plausible Explosive method not explained
[X] Reasonably neutral point of view

The submitted article is/does not…
[X] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[X] Obtusely redundant
[X] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[X] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[X] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[ ] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[X] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[X] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[X] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[X] Lacking Detail
[X] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)

The article has…
[NA] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[X] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[ ] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[NA] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.


Summary
Needs polish
** Needs thorough grammar review and resolution of the above listed items.

Status: Pending

I intend to finish this review by: Nov 15 2010
 
I plead Not Guilty to the charge of Artwork.

The orignal creature this device is based on does not have artwork, and has been a well-known feature in SARP for many years. As there is no external difference between the device and the creature it is based on (indeed, some specimens may actually be converted from normal Kawaii) any art would apply over the two articles and be out of my jurisdiction.

It is also my belief that any art submitted by myself would be substandard, and degrade the article rather than enhance it. Sometimes ones own imagination is better than an artists.
 
Not sure if it is needed for teh setting but it would be definetaly useful. Me and few others asked Jimmy to od it, because I find it original and a little funny. It is certainly useful for any assassin wannabe who plays here.
 
Artwork should be easy. It's just a fuzzball. To me, the main thing is not artwork, but that all the other stuff I pointed out is fixed.
 
The kawaii has been around for so long that if anyone was even half-serious, or cared for that matter, it would have already received art. Sniping the submission because of art is obeying the letter of the law, but not the spirit, it is not a starship, hand weapon, uniform, OR alien species, and it makes a debatable weapon (it's arguable if it would even count as a small arm). Any art put up for the submission by the creator is likely to be substandard, and will then draw complaints because of that.
 
Jimmy said:
if anyone was even half-serious, or cared for that matter, it would have already received art.
Click to expand...

If no one cares enough to produce art then why should this be approved?
 
Why? Why did no one care? Because art is hard. If art were easy we'd get stacks of volunteers offering to create imagines for every item imaginable, the world would be full of rainbows and smiles, and world peace would reign. Taking a second whiff of that grass, if everyone could read the images in other peoples heads clearly no one would be disappointed when an artists impression comes out, unless that artist was poor at his trade.

And lets face it, nobody is going to spend ten bucks for a pro for thousands of items when he can arm twist Joe Schmoe into doing it for him.
 
Uso said:
Jimmy said:
if anyone was even half-serious, or cared for that matter, it would have already received art.
Click to expand...

If no one cares enough to produce art then why should this be approved?
Click to expand...

Because it's a submission that needs to be reviewed. Therefore, if it meets guidelines it will be approved and people will care because a fuzzball just blew off their legs.

If all this needs to be approved is artwork, I'll do some DOGA shenanigans and get it up.
 
This needs more than artwork...it needs to have the issues I highlighted corrected. I have said this repeatedly.
 
Technically you've said it two times, which is twice, while repeatable this is not usually enough to qualify for repeatedly.

Have another read. Still not quite sure what you want bullet points in for, but I'll add a TL;DR if that's what you want.
 
Go through, fix grammar, fix unneeded "you's", prove it's relevant to SARP.

I see you've already gotten artwork.

Edit: Put in wiki links as well. There is an article for YE 32, for example. Also, don't snark. We're all guilty of it, but it's never good and this isn't a good time for you to be.
 
I'm about ready to reject this submission for Jimmy's attitude alone.
 
That could have been snark, but it could have also been said straight. He is right, twice is not "repeatedly" and saying it was makes it sound more serious than it is. And the rest of the post could have been an easy-going way of saying he doesn't know what you're asking for. I don't know him enough to make that call, though, I'm just bringing attention to that possibility.

 If you do want to punish him for perceived disrespect though, punish him, not his work. Suspension or loss of chat privileges, something like that. Basing approval on how much you like or dislike someone is a flawed process. If that was how it always worked, some people would never have anything approved.

 As for the article, there have been other humor or joke weapons and items that have made it in. This one has a use, and others have made it in without a chemical-science-level explanation of their workings. IMHO, the kawaii are engineered creatures to start with so why couldn't they biologically (or even via implanted mechanisms or nanites) create explosive compounds inside themselves?
 
I originally imagined it as being a very slip-shod operation that basically takes parts of out grenades and other explosive materials and puts them into the animals rather than changing the base animal to make the explosive. Low budget, low key, low reliability. Pretty much something you can fit in a basement or garage.
 
Thought I forgot about this? ;)

I've done a bit of reformatting and tidying up. I'm still not quite sure about the bullet points, but I've made a best-effort attempt. The technobabble checkmark was a little perplexing to me, the longest word in the article is behaviour, but I've done a bit more explaining and a little rewording.

Anyway, I think the changes have been an improvement, and help make the article more uniform compared to the relatively messy Bio Kawaii section as it used to exist. Any feedback (apart from Exhack asking if he's cute yet) would be welcome, the deadline approaches.
 
This review is for: Weaponized Kawaii

The submitted article is/has…
[X] A general topic sentence under the title header[/color] Fixed location, spelling, and sentence structure for this for you
[X] Artwork (illustrations are required for Starships, Vehicles, Hand weapons or Small Arms, Uniforms for military forces or large corporations and new alien species not from the race of the day CCG)[/color]
[ ] Needed and/or useful to the setting Still not entirely convinced
[X] In the proper format/template[/color] Forced line breaks ( \\ ) removed
[X] Proofread for spelling and grammar[/color] You need to learn when to use "its."
[X] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)[/color]
[X] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link
[X] No red and/or broken links
[X] Reasonably scientifically plausible[/color] Explosive method not explained
[X] Reasonably neutral point of view

The submitted article is/does not…
[X] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[X] Obtusely redundant
[X] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[X] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[X] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[X] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[X] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[X] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[X] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[X] Lacking Detail
[X] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)

The article has…
[NA] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[X] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[X] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[NA] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.


Summary

Why is this needed and/or useful to the setting? How does this make SARP more fun?

Status: Pending

I intend to finish this review by: Nov 15 2010
 
Then my mission is clear. :)

Sorry for the essay.

That is a two part question, with two quite different answers beyond yes or no. I believe this item is needed/useful in the setting in the same way that a new handgun would be needed/useful. It isn't really needed, but its unique traits, and its appeal to different players means it still adds to the setting in its own little way. So this question shouldn't be is it needed, it should be does it add anything to the setting, I believe it does in a small way, but from small things comes greatness.

In a plot sense I believe this weapon makes a perfect bad-guy weapon, it shows the ruthlessness of a character that they are willing to sacrifice an animal for their purpose. Leaning towards game-play this weapon falls into a niche of being a highly unpredictable, but possibly highly effective low-level weapon, this would be a weapon used by those who like high risk /high gain, or just like it because of its shock value. Leaning towards the lore as a whole, this provides a small look at some of the brutality in SARP's underworld, as well as opening a minor plot avenue about shutting down these labs should a GM ever be inclined.

Ordinarily I would have just made this a trunk concept thought up in a moment of daydreaming, however I began to receive requests that I complete the project. I can't say I was flooded, but it was enough for me to be convinced that they would at least be used by someone. These people told me the main appeal of the weapon was that it was so exotic, and that they could actually use it for things they otherwise couldn't do without being over-powered. Although one of the answers was to use the flash kawaii for onboard shenanigans.

This weapon is an example of old items given new application, and I believe this new application will appeal to players who could use it. It provides a look into some of the rarely seen parts of SARP, and its appearance does not cause ground shaking effects on the setting or incite an arms race (unless some corp decides it too needs a living bomb, that would be kinda weird :-\). It takes nothing away from the setting and has everything to give, it may not fill the stockpiles of any armies, but it gives Independents a weapon they can call their own, and only their own.
 
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