Approved Character Whispering Trees "Panther"

[Scot]

https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=ch ... swift_wind

Notes:

The inventory much like the end of the background is more of in the air, since this Kohanian started off as a local outlaw assassin type thing who soon may join a mercenary force of the ISC Phoenix.

I was planning to put physical in there, I wasn't sure if it was needed so I put art in it's place.

Also I think both AoK and Luca needs to look at this, since one is the faction manager and one is the plot this character is going into.





Non important stuff to the submission:

To think this character started off with an idea of a Freespacer just to mock the "Inefficient walking meat bags."

Though I guess it was AoK's post about technology that influenced me to make another Kohanian, though it was going to be like a Mole man thing, though I'm still unsure to make one since I have very little knowledge about such things myself. When looking for an SP plot, there seemed to be only two choices, then I saw assassin class and thus came on the road to this character.

I do know I like to write backstories a little too much, to the point where the paragraph of his childhood was going to be much bigger, but figured it was unnecessary to say what his favorite game was to play when he was 5, rather than getting on with it.

 

[AoK]

Not a bad bio, Scot. Just like River, you really show off Kohanian thinking and culture through the little things.

First and foremost, however, is the fact just about every time you say Kapua in your bio, it should be Sha'Nai. Kapua is the clan name for the moles, weasels, bats and stuff. Sha'Nai is the organization of spies, assassins and information traffickers.


Also, your skill descriptions are a little sparse. I would like to see you flesh them out a little bit more with information about how far they can go, and what limitations he might have.

 

[Luca]

Looking over this, I'll say that you've got solid stuff, but there is a bit of a glitch: Nepleslia Prime was colonised in YE30, so how did he spend five years there?

Don't let that detail discourage you from letting your character have a year's worth of amazing experiences.

That aside, the most probable way to join the crew via hunting someone down would be the 50,000 KS bounty on Luca. (Nobody else has wanted to collect due to his reputation and the sheer volume of crew he has with him) Other members could have smaller bounties as well, Hitori and Mitch might have smaller bounties on them.

 

[Scot]

Updated!

2 years on what I think could be a colony world town, and one year on the planet which he shows up on.

Some skills are a bit expanded, giving credit to who trained him originally.

 

[Nashoba]

Okay, interesting back ground, would have liked to seen a bit more wiki linkage, but not a real problem there.

Numerous spelling errors.
Yamatain (sp) Yamataian

No English. Nepleslian (Two places) There is no English in SARP.

4rd should be 4th

Grammar had should be have
He did however had to learn to pick locks...

requirments (sp) requirements
assasin (sp) assassin
matra (sp) mantra
poisoness (sp) poisonous

Get these things fixed, and you'll be good to go.

This character is still pending

 

[Scot]

Such a poisonous character sheet!

Anyway fixed the spelling.

 

[Nashoba]

I found a few typos but fixed them since there was only two.

Good character have fun with it.

This character is approved for IC usage.

 

[Wes]

In the SARP, the English language is typically called "Trade" because basically all factions speak it and it's international and used for commerce.