HotelKilo
Inactive Member
Mehitabel's Appartment
Mehitabel sat among the clutter of her brand new apartment. There wasn't much space in the little set of rooms she had acquired with Shiho. It didn't help that there was a general lack of furniture that wasn't arms shipping containers or the bed and futon that came with the place. With all the time on her hands these days, there had been plenty of chances to spare her thoughts from the press of Eucharis business back to what had manifested as fleeting thoughts in the briefing before they had assaulted the Rixxor station.
Afterwards she had been busy, not to mention concussed, with helping the Admiral arrange repairs and preparing the crew's commendations, promotions, all the recognition they had been due for what to her had been a tough assignment. Now, as she scrubbed the packing grease from around one of the rifle optics she'd purchased in bulk, those worrisome thoughts returned.
Rather then fret, remembering how forlorn the ship's advisor had seemed since their return, Bel reached back for her communicator. Picking Wazu's name from the roster's com code list, she knocked out a quick coffee invitation with her name signed at the bottom. It probably wasn't a place he would be familiar with, or at least Mehitabel didn't expect him to be. She had only found it by wandering around the new neighborhood looking for noodles.
A little while later....
*Knock Knock*
It was nice to be away from the ship for a bit, trading the feeling spinning one's wheels for something a lot less serious. The sudden lack of weighty responsibilities feeling refreshing. For a moment, Wazu was considering just heading back to either and hiding from the universe again...
"Mehitabel?" He asked, "Up for some Coffee?"
"Ah! Mr. Wazu! I'm glad you found us," Bel had come to the door in what passed for her 'out of uniform' attire, really just one of her extra uniform skirts and thrift store shirts leftover from various events. She nodded, smiling only a little, "They have teas as well, I've been told."
A slight smile came to Wazu's tired face, Yamatai was certainly never lacking in soldiers who could wear a skirt well. "Pantheon makes it hard to get lost... I picked up a little something for you," He said, handing over a small box.
"I suppose that's true. It's saved me enough times..." Bel replied pleasantly, though she swiftly reddened at the surprise present, "You really didn't have to"
"It is Lewis Pasco day! It'd be rude not to." He replied, "Go on, open it. I do not normally get to do holidays and I do like this one."
"It is already? I thought I'd marked the date on my calendar," she murmured, as bidden she opened the box. Her eyebrows rose as she reached in to run a finger down the long barrel of the sizable Nepleslian revlover.
Looking back up, the Elysian clerk was a tad misty eyed, "And I didn't get you anything either! Oh, thank you Mr. Wazu. The HHG is a fine piece of craftsmanship, even if it is a bit, ah, large for my taste. I'll enjoy trying it out on the range."
Wazu had a genuine smile this time, "It is a bit big for anyone's tastes... which is probably why it is so popular... An enjoyable mess... So where is that coffee place?"
"Just down the street practically. It's on the first floor of another apartment building, with a few other shops," she replied, seeming herself more genuinely happy, less nervous. Looking around at the stacks of gun boxes, Bel carefully rests the box on top of a longer rifle crate.
"You'll have to excuse the mess..." she said after a moment, "Shiho and I just moved in, really, we don't have much furniture to make it seem less like a pile of junk."
"I did not know you were so into guns." Wazu said, taking a peek inside... it was quite the armory. "... though I do prefer the minimalist look. I do not think I have ever actually bought a sofa... or had people over..."
He thought about it for a moment,
"That is probably weird. Right?"
"Um, well," Bel looked around the room of guns and whiskey barrels, "I've never owned, or rented, my own place before. When I was at home on Keren III I lived in the arsenal barracks, then the barracks here, and Eucharis."
"I suppose decorating's not really my forte," She shrugged with her wings, before addressing his first statement with a blush, "Well... It's been something of a quiet obsession... I began my working career refurbishing and maintaining arms for the Elysian Celestial Navy, ever since I've been curious about weaponry."
Mehitabel's expression darkened briefly, brows knitting for a moment, "That is part of what I wanted to ask you about."
"But first, we have to get coffee and holiday cookies!" she chirped, the brief moment of very real worry fading into the background.
"Well lets go find some cookies then." Wazu said, turning back towards the hallway, "What is it that you wanted to know?"
"We may want to eat first," Bel said earnestly, pulling the door shut behind them as she stepped into the hall.
Wazu would wait for Bel to lock up before heading back down towards the first floor of the building. The man had dressed in a generic green sweater, which stood out against the large number of military uniforms in the crowd quite a bit more than he had expected. "Alright, holiday cookies it is."
The pair would soon end up at the small coffee shop and bakery on the first floor, a few small tables setup out in front of the counter where a pair of Mini-Nekos were serving drinks and other goodies.
"HEY! YOU TWO! COME TRY OUR COFFEE!" The mini neko shouted, waving both arms in the air as she jumped up and down on the counter happily, "I BET I KNOW JUST WHAT YOU WANT!"
"Coming!" Bel clasped her hands together in front, "Go ahead, what do I want?"
"YOU! ELYSIAN!" The mini-neko said, pulling her hand in close to hold her chin as she closed her eyes, "You're bird like. You love the nectar of the plants... for you we have a hot chrysanthemum tea flavored with sweetened with a mix of Honey and Agave sap! A sugary treat that is not too heavy and won't weigh you down!"
"That sounds.... Delicious, actually," Mehitabel agreed with the suggestion without even thinking! Her usual coffee order was practically just sweetener with caffeine in it anyway. Why not try something with a little more substance and flavor!
"Of course it does!" The mini-neko said proudly, nodding along at her own amazing insight, "AND YOU!" She turned her attention to the man standing next to the Elysan, "Nepleslian," The mini-neko was certain, Nepleslians smelled a certain way... even the clean ones... all that skin they shed makes them distinct compared to Yamatains or other males... "But you don't got that Super-Y... You want our signature Nepleslian Drink... The Whiskey-Power. A cup of strong black coffee, a splash of whiskey, and a B vitamin shot... and because it is the holidays we'll be sweetening it with Egg-nog mixed with a little bit of sweet milk and topped off with whipped cream and nutmeg."
Wazu paused for a moment, he wasn't exactly Nepleslian... but, well... close enough. "How about we leave out the Whiskey this time?"
"Your choice! You two take a seat and we'll bring the drinks right out... Of course, maybe you'd be interested in a nice sugar cookie to go with the tea? Or a heavy banana pound-cake with lemon frosting for your coffee?"
"Oooh," Bel tapped her nose thoughtfully, "I'll take the sugar cookie, please."
She nodded towards the back, between Wazu and a quiet looking rear booth, "Booth? Or table?"
"Why don't you grab us a booth? I will get the drinks." Wazu said,
"No need sir!" The mini neko piped up, "We'll bring them out to you as soon as they are ready! Go have a seat and enjoy our great view of the other stores here! There is an array of great shopping! Trendy Holiday Sweaters are available just down a few stores!"
Wazu smiled, nodded, and turned towards one of the booths. "She certainly seemed energized... I guess if you work at a job like this on Yamatai you really have to love what you do?"
"It would have to be her choice to work here, I imagine. Plenty of people are very enthusiastic about cooking and baking," Bel headed back towards a booth with a little bit of an unoccupied buffor facing the shopping promenade.
Her eyes briefly flicked back to the greeter and she mumbled, "I've never actually met a mini-neko before. Are they all that, energetic?"
"I also have fairly limited experience there... but it takes a certain type of personality to want to be mini-sized all the time. I would imagine they are all kindred spirits." He replied, taking a seat across from Bel.
She folded her hands on the table, nodding thoughtfully... There wasn't exactly a good way to broach the subjects she wanted to address, Bel reflected at this juncture. Glancing out at the crowds of holiday shoppers bustling around, either singly, with friends, or families. It made her think of home, and the holidays season.
"That is, sort of what I wanted to talk to you about," she turned her attention abruptly back to Wazu, gray eyes downcast.
"Well, just say it. They say the waiting is the hardest part." He replied.
"After this last mission, I was wondering, is this anything like... Before the Freespacers, or, during the Elysian Wars?" Mehitabel asked, her lips drawing thin as she asked, voice lower even then normal, "I can't ask the Admiral, and no one else is old enough to have been there."
"I mean... The decision making, the atmosphere," she drummed on the table, looking uncertain, "I'm not entirely sure how to put it."
Wazu paused for a good long while.
"I was a lot younger then," He said, "Things were, easier... At the time the Elysians were responsible for the plague, they were genocidal mass murderers on a rampage.
Yui, back then, was as hard edged as ever. She was not worshiped like she is now... she, I guess she had people to answer to, but it was still clear that she was something special... She was that kind of leader that made you try harder because you wanted to impress her.
Everyone loves their captain," Wazu said, sighing, "That certainly has not changed....
... Hanako was not yet...Hanako. She... if she was around, you would not notice her. She was quiet, she... I mean, perhaps it is not appropriate to discuss it. Hanako then was very different from Hanako now. Hanako now feels a lot like Yui. She's hard. She's distant. She will kill you, and she'll be just fine with it.
The SAoY was not as professional then as it is now, not as established. You went longer without seeing a starbase, the corridors were full of supply boxes. It felt closer.
...
Now... I suppose now it is less clear who the enemy is."
Mehitabel's wings flexed, whether in embarrassment, shame, or some other emotion it wasn't exactly clear.
"It had to have been different, it was a different time, different threats," she murmured quietly under her breath, inaudible as she acknowledged that really to herself more then Wazu before nodding, "That is... I don't think..."
Bel pressed her fingertips into her forehead, "It's impossible to talk to the crew about it, but, it's the Captain I'm worried about. Like you said, she's distant, she's hard, she tries not to be, but she is... I don't, really know anything about the Empress, but I can see the similarity."
"Death is something I do not fear, not in service of the empire, a worthy cause," Mehitabel regained her footing, voice tightening up to its normal flat tenor as she possibly committed treason, "What I suppose I'm asking, is, if I am laying down my life for killers and despots every bit as bad as my own people's leaders? Is this new war going to go down that path?"
"How far are they willing to go to ensure Yamatai survives?"
"It is not that different now. Sure, you may not fear death, but what about your friends? Your family? People that know you? People who owe you money? ... Knowing who is the good guys, and who is the bad guys is very complex. I am working with people who have killed friends of mine... "
The mini neko hovered over to the table, a floating tray with hot drinks and a large, sugary cookie decorated with smart-frosting showing snow falling on a warmly lit hut was placed infront of them, "You two enjoy! If there is anything else I can get for you just come get me!"
Wazu nodded, then turned his attention back to Bel. "I am worried about Hanako too."
"Good and bad.... Are not necessarily something... I worry about," she admits hesitantly, "Wasn't there an ancient story about a man that went about with a lit lamp during the day looking for an honest man?"
Mehitabel's eyes lowered to her tea, taking a drink of the sweetened tea, "I'm not sure I have friends, Mr. Wazu, or anyone that really cares about me. I've lived my life as a ghost, a cog in a vast bureaucracy that could be replaced at a moment's notice...."
"But I am worried about Admiral Ketsurui..."
"I can not say I am familiar with that one... or that I feel like I have answers for you. Caring is something that develops over time... Even the relationships I feel like I did make on the Eucharis are fleeting... I mean, I sware I just started getting close to someone and they ended up leaving. That kind of thing keeps happening and soon you start to expect it to happen.
... in what way are you worried about Admiral Ketsurui?" He asked, "And... do you feel that way about the entire crew? No one feels close to you yet?"
"She carries an incredible weight on her shoulders, the safety of Empire and the crew's safety. Among numerous other things. I worry that she doesn't have anyone to, vent to? Relax with? She always seems so tense. That stress can't be good," she said, fully candid now. If Wazu was inclined to have her shot, imprisoned, or discharged he had more then enough evidence already.
"I... Care very deeply for the crew," Bel kept going after another gulp of hot tea, cookies untouched, "In no small part, most of the new crew members are here because of me. I don't want to let them down. Even as close as I think Shiho and I are, it doesn't seem like anyone would miss me if I disappeared."
"But, this has gotten much more personal then I meant it to," the Elysian started to pull back, straightening up, having unconsciously hunched down around her mug, "You've always seemed so alone among all us rookies, and here I am whining."
"You are young," Wazu said, "Knowing who you are, where you are at now, is not an easy thing. Just having someone to talk to it about can help. I was barely able to figure myself out until I nearly fried my brain doing..." He looked sheepish for a moment, "Stuff.... You know, I had a personal policy of ignoring the kind of stuff for the longest time. I really... I still do not know how to make this kind of thing work. This is a military, people die."
Wazu refocused his attention,
"So what do you love?"
"Love?" Mehitabel picked up another cookie, filling her mouth with the sugary treat as she thought.
Washing it down with another sip of cooling tea, she looked embarrassed, "Work, I suppose? The Eucharis crew..."
"But you are worried they do not love you back? Maybe you are worried all you have is work and that they have other things in their lives too?" Wazu asked.
"I'm not particularly... Worried about it," Bel said.
"You are worried about it, you just do not know how to express it... or if you should. You are surrounded by people, but you still feel isolated... right?" He asked.
Bel shrugged with wings and arms at the same time, "That's normal enough, isn't it? You feel at least a little like that, don't you Mr. Wazu?"
"No, I do not think that is normal. Yes, I feel that way,... but this does not feel normal... it has been a decade at least since I have felt like a part of something, or since I have felt that sort of close to a group of people.
I do remember what it is like at least.
But what does normal matter? You clear do not like the way you feel, so you should change how you feel. Go out and find those people who matter to you and reconnect. Or, maybe in your case, you should just get to know the people around you a bit better. Develop something deeper than what you already have." He replied.
"I'm trying," she said, finishing off the last of her sweet tea, sagging in her seat, "But... Deeper is, I don't know, if that's what I want? Yamatai still feels so alien to me, almost everyone I've met has been so boisterous... I'm not that energetic a person, Mr. Wazu."
Mehitabel looked down at her empty mug, "...that might be changing. That was extraordinarily sweet."
"WOULD YOU LIKE ANOTHER?!?!?" The mini neko called out from the counter nearby, "Maybe something a bit bitter to cleanse the pallet a bit? A dark coco?"
Wazu would wait for the neko to finish before continuing,
"You can identify something you do not like, and take steps to remove it. Or you can identify something you want and take steps to get it. Maybe you do not know what you want, and I do not think I can help you there, I feel.... Lost more often than not. If you want your friends to be less alien to you, then I think I can help. You enjoy more than just coffee and tea right?"
Mehitabel flushed; the miniature neko had her desires pegged pretty well. She nodded, "Another, please!"
"ONE MORE ON ITS WAY!!"
"As you've noticed," she said with a smile that faded swiftly, "It may be an attitude problem on my part. I... Work a lot, which I enjoy, and come across as... Overly serious? Perhaps that is why I don't get invited to things?"
"It may not be you. The Eucharis has felt..." Wazu trailed off a bit as he tried to find the proper words. "... Strained, maybe. Maybe it is just the more recent crew transfers caught some people off guard. The crew feels very fresh."
The mini-neko floated over, a hovering tray with another cup of tea right behind her... slowly floating down and landing in front of Mehitabel, the empty cup levitating up to the Mini-neko,
"ENJOY!" She shouted, before heading off, giving Wazu some much needed time to collect his thoughts.
"You should throw a party." He said, finally.
"We are very fresh. Most of us have less then a year in uniform, no one more then two. And with established crew members departing..." she tapped her finger on the rim of her new tea mug, giving their waitress a warm grin, "Thank you!"
Nevertheless, Wazu managed to catch her off-guard. Mehitabel slopped some tea out on the table as she chirped, startled by the suggestion, "A party? You saw my home, it is a box full of guns, some furniture, and Ishii-hei. Who, by the way, is not inclined to socialize much."
"I am certain there is a gun range around here if you want to rent it out for a bit and do some shooting with some of the crew... or we could do a house warming party, maybe bring some pictures of the ship to hang up?" Wazu offered, "It is what you make of it."
"I... A range might be fun. There are some rather exotic items for the crew to try if they wish," she said, frowning in thought, "Everyone enjoys explosions. I think."
"Is it something you enjoy? It may be enough to just open yourself up and share what you enjoy with the others." Wazu replied, "
"Perhaps... Would it be something you would like to attend?" Mehitabel asked her tea guest.
"Of course. It might be good for the crew to spend some time together outside of work." He replied.
"This seems like a better and better idea, Mr. Wazu," she agreed, smiling again, "Thank you, for all your help. I'll get the check."
"Alright... I'll get it next time... though would you mind if I got one of those cookies to go?..."
Mehitabel sat among the clutter of her brand new apartment. There wasn't much space in the little set of rooms she had acquired with Shiho. It didn't help that there was a general lack of furniture that wasn't arms shipping containers or the bed and futon that came with the place. With all the time on her hands these days, there had been plenty of chances to spare her thoughts from the press of Eucharis business back to what had manifested as fleeting thoughts in the briefing before they had assaulted the Rixxor station.
Afterwards she had been busy, not to mention concussed, with helping the Admiral arrange repairs and preparing the crew's commendations, promotions, all the recognition they had been due for what to her had been a tough assignment. Now, as she scrubbed the packing grease from around one of the rifle optics she'd purchased in bulk, those worrisome thoughts returned.
Rather then fret, remembering how forlorn the ship's advisor had seemed since their return, Bel reached back for her communicator. Picking Wazu's name from the roster's com code list, she knocked out a quick coffee invitation with her name signed at the bottom. It probably wasn't a place he would be familiar with, or at least Mehitabel didn't expect him to be. She had only found it by wandering around the new neighborhood looking for noodles.
A little while later....
*Knock Knock*
It was nice to be away from the ship for a bit, trading the feeling spinning one's wheels for something a lot less serious. The sudden lack of weighty responsibilities feeling refreshing. For a moment, Wazu was considering just heading back to either and hiding from the universe again...
"Mehitabel?" He asked, "Up for some Coffee?"
"Ah! Mr. Wazu! I'm glad you found us," Bel had come to the door in what passed for her 'out of uniform' attire, really just one of her extra uniform skirts and thrift store shirts leftover from various events. She nodded, smiling only a little, "They have teas as well, I've been told."
A slight smile came to Wazu's tired face, Yamatai was certainly never lacking in soldiers who could wear a skirt well. "Pantheon makes it hard to get lost... I picked up a little something for you," He said, handing over a small box.
"I suppose that's true. It's saved me enough times..." Bel replied pleasantly, though she swiftly reddened at the surprise present, "You really didn't have to"
"It is Lewis Pasco day! It'd be rude not to." He replied, "Go on, open it. I do not normally get to do holidays and I do like this one."
"It is already? I thought I'd marked the date on my calendar," she murmured, as bidden she opened the box. Her eyebrows rose as she reached in to run a finger down the long barrel of the sizable Nepleslian revlover.
Looking back up, the Elysian clerk was a tad misty eyed, "And I didn't get you anything either! Oh, thank you Mr. Wazu. The HHG is a fine piece of craftsmanship, even if it is a bit, ah, large for my taste. I'll enjoy trying it out on the range."
Wazu had a genuine smile this time, "It is a bit big for anyone's tastes... which is probably why it is so popular... An enjoyable mess... So where is that coffee place?"
"Just down the street practically. It's on the first floor of another apartment building, with a few other shops," she replied, seeming herself more genuinely happy, less nervous. Looking around at the stacks of gun boxes, Bel carefully rests the box on top of a longer rifle crate.
"You'll have to excuse the mess..." she said after a moment, "Shiho and I just moved in, really, we don't have much furniture to make it seem less like a pile of junk."
"I did not know you were so into guns." Wazu said, taking a peek inside... it was quite the armory. "... though I do prefer the minimalist look. I do not think I have ever actually bought a sofa... or had people over..."
He thought about it for a moment,
"That is probably weird. Right?"
"Um, well," Bel looked around the room of guns and whiskey barrels, "I've never owned, or rented, my own place before. When I was at home on Keren III I lived in the arsenal barracks, then the barracks here, and Eucharis."
"I suppose decorating's not really my forte," She shrugged with her wings, before addressing his first statement with a blush, "Well... It's been something of a quiet obsession... I began my working career refurbishing and maintaining arms for the Elysian Celestial Navy, ever since I've been curious about weaponry."
Mehitabel's expression darkened briefly, brows knitting for a moment, "That is part of what I wanted to ask you about."
"But first, we have to get coffee and holiday cookies!" she chirped, the brief moment of very real worry fading into the background.
"Well lets go find some cookies then." Wazu said, turning back towards the hallway, "What is it that you wanted to know?"
"We may want to eat first," Bel said earnestly, pulling the door shut behind them as she stepped into the hall.
Wazu would wait for Bel to lock up before heading back down towards the first floor of the building. The man had dressed in a generic green sweater, which stood out against the large number of military uniforms in the crowd quite a bit more than he had expected. "Alright, holiday cookies it is."
The pair would soon end up at the small coffee shop and bakery on the first floor, a few small tables setup out in front of the counter where a pair of Mini-Nekos were serving drinks and other goodies.
"HEY! YOU TWO! COME TRY OUR COFFEE!" The mini neko shouted, waving both arms in the air as she jumped up and down on the counter happily, "I BET I KNOW JUST WHAT YOU WANT!"
"Coming!" Bel clasped her hands together in front, "Go ahead, what do I want?"
"YOU! ELYSIAN!" The mini-neko said, pulling her hand in close to hold her chin as she closed her eyes, "You're bird like. You love the nectar of the plants... for you we have a hot chrysanthemum tea flavored with sweetened with a mix of Honey and Agave sap! A sugary treat that is not too heavy and won't weigh you down!"
"That sounds.... Delicious, actually," Mehitabel agreed with the suggestion without even thinking! Her usual coffee order was practically just sweetener with caffeine in it anyway. Why not try something with a little more substance and flavor!
"Of course it does!" The mini-neko said proudly, nodding along at her own amazing insight, "AND YOU!" She turned her attention to the man standing next to the Elysan, "Nepleslian," The mini-neko was certain, Nepleslians smelled a certain way... even the clean ones... all that skin they shed makes them distinct compared to Yamatains or other males... "But you don't got that Super-Y... You want our signature Nepleslian Drink... The Whiskey-Power. A cup of strong black coffee, a splash of whiskey, and a B vitamin shot... and because it is the holidays we'll be sweetening it with Egg-nog mixed with a little bit of sweet milk and topped off with whipped cream and nutmeg."
Wazu paused for a moment, he wasn't exactly Nepleslian... but, well... close enough. "How about we leave out the Whiskey this time?"
"Your choice! You two take a seat and we'll bring the drinks right out... Of course, maybe you'd be interested in a nice sugar cookie to go with the tea? Or a heavy banana pound-cake with lemon frosting for your coffee?"
"Oooh," Bel tapped her nose thoughtfully, "I'll take the sugar cookie, please."
She nodded towards the back, between Wazu and a quiet looking rear booth, "Booth? Or table?"
"Why don't you grab us a booth? I will get the drinks." Wazu said,
"No need sir!" The mini neko piped up, "We'll bring them out to you as soon as they are ready! Go have a seat and enjoy our great view of the other stores here! There is an array of great shopping! Trendy Holiday Sweaters are available just down a few stores!"
Wazu smiled, nodded, and turned towards one of the booths. "She certainly seemed energized... I guess if you work at a job like this on Yamatai you really have to love what you do?"
"It would have to be her choice to work here, I imagine. Plenty of people are very enthusiastic about cooking and baking," Bel headed back towards a booth with a little bit of an unoccupied buffor facing the shopping promenade.
Her eyes briefly flicked back to the greeter and she mumbled, "I've never actually met a mini-neko before. Are they all that, energetic?"
"I also have fairly limited experience there... but it takes a certain type of personality to want to be mini-sized all the time. I would imagine they are all kindred spirits." He replied, taking a seat across from Bel.
She folded her hands on the table, nodding thoughtfully... There wasn't exactly a good way to broach the subjects she wanted to address, Bel reflected at this juncture. Glancing out at the crowds of holiday shoppers bustling around, either singly, with friends, or families. It made her think of home, and the holidays season.
"That is, sort of what I wanted to talk to you about," she turned her attention abruptly back to Wazu, gray eyes downcast.
"Well, just say it. They say the waiting is the hardest part." He replied.
"After this last mission, I was wondering, is this anything like... Before the Freespacers, or, during the Elysian Wars?" Mehitabel asked, her lips drawing thin as she asked, voice lower even then normal, "I can't ask the Admiral, and no one else is old enough to have been there."
"I mean... The decision making, the atmosphere," she drummed on the table, looking uncertain, "I'm not entirely sure how to put it."
Wazu paused for a good long while.
"I was a lot younger then," He said, "Things were, easier... At the time the Elysians were responsible for the plague, they were genocidal mass murderers on a rampage.
Yui, back then, was as hard edged as ever. She was not worshiped like she is now... she, I guess she had people to answer to, but it was still clear that she was something special... She was that kind of leader that made you try harder because you wanted to impress her.
Everyone loves their captain," Wazu said, sighing, "That certainly has not changed....
... Hanako was not yet...Hanako. She... if she was around, you would not notice her. She was quiet, she... I mean, perhaps it is not appropriate to discuss it. Hanako then was very different from Hanako now. Hanako now feels a lot like Yui. She's hard. She's distant. She will kill you, and she'll be just fine with it.
The SAoY was not as professional then as it is now, not as established. You went longer without seeing a starbase, the corridors were full of supply boxes. It felt closer.
...
Now... I suppose now it is less clear who the enemy is."
Mehitabel's wings flexed, whether in embarrassment, shame, or some other emotion it wasn't exactly clear.
"It had to have been different, it was a different time, different threats," she murmured quietly under her breath, inaudible as she acknowledged that really to herself more then Wazu before nodding, "That is... I don't think..."
Bel pressed her fingertips into her forehead, "It's impossible to talk to the crew about it, but, it's the Captain I'm worried about. Like you said, she's distant, she's hard, she tries not to be, but she is... I don't, really know anything about the Empress, but I can see the similarity."
"Death is something I do not fear, not in service of the empire, a worthy cause," Mehitabel regained her footing, voice tightening up to its normal flat tenor as she possibly committed treason, "What I suppose I'm asking, is, if I am laying down my life for killers and despots every bit as bad as my own people's leaders? Is this new war going to go down that path?"
"How far are they willing to go to ensure Yamatai survives?"
"It is not that different now. Sure, you may not fear death, but what about your friends? Your family? People that know you? People who owe you money? ... Knowing who is the good guys, and who is the bad guys is very complex. I am working with people who have killed friends of mine... "
The mini neko hovered over to the table, a floating tray with hot drinks and a large, sugary cookie decorated with smart-frosting showing snow falling on a warmly lit hut was placed infront of them, "You two enjoy! If there is anything else I can get for you just come get me!"
Wazu nodded, then turned his attention back to Bel. "I am worried about Hanako too."
"Good and bad.... Are not necessarily something... I worry about," she admits hesitantly, "Wasn't there an ancient story about a man that went about with a lit lamp during the day looking for an honest man?"
Mehitabel's eyes lowered to her tea, taking a drink of the sweetened tea, "I'm not sure I have friends, Mr. Wazu, or anyone that really cares about me. I've lived my life as a ghost, a cog in a vast bureaucracy that could be replaced at a moment's notice...."
"But I am worried about Admiral Ketsurui..."
"I can not say I am familiar with that one... or that I feel like I have answers for you. Caring is something that develops over time... Even the relationships I feel like I did make on the Eucharis are fleeting... I mean, I sware I just started getting close to someone and they ended up leaving. That kind of thing keeps happening and soon you start to expect it to happen.
... in what way are you worried about Admiral Ketsurui?" He asked, "And... do you feel that way about the entire crew? No one feels close to you yet?"
"She carries an incredible weight on her shoulders, the safety of Empire and the crew's safety. Among numerous other things. I worry that she doesn't have anyone to, vent to? Relax with? She always seems so tense. That stress can't be good," she said, fully candid now. If Wazu was inclined to have her shot, imprisoned, or discharged he had more then enough evidence already.
"I... Care very deeply for the crew," Bel kept going after another gulp of hot tea, cookies untouched, "In no small part, most of the new crew members are here because of me. I don't want to let them down. Even as close as I think Shiho and I are, it doesn't seem like anyone would miss me if I disappeared."
"But, this has gotten much more personal then I meant it to," the Elysian started to pull back, straightening up, having unconsciously hunched down around her mug, "You've always seemed so alone among all us rookies, and here I am whining."
"You are young," Wazu said, "Knowing who you are, where you are at now, is not an easy thing. Just having someone to talk to it about can help. I was barely able to figure myself out until I nearly fried my brain doing..." He looked sheepish for a moment, "Stuff.... You know, I had a personal policy of ignoring the kind of stuff for the longest time. I really... I still do not know how to make this kind of thing work. This is a military, people die."
Wazu refocused his attention,
"So what do you love?"
"Love?" Mehitabel picked up another cookie, filling her mouth with the sugary treat as she thought.
Washing it down with another sip of cooling tea, she looked embarrassed, "Work, I suppose? The Eucharis crew..."
"But you are worried they do not love you back? Maybe you are worried all you have is work and that they have other things in their lives too?" Wazu asked.
"I'm not particularly... Worried about it," Bel said.
"You are worried about it, you just do not know how to express it... or if you should. You are surrounded by people, but you still feel isolated... right?" He asked.
Bel shrugged with wings and arms at the same time, "That's normal enough, isn't it? You feel at least a little like that, don't you Mr. Wazu?"
"No, I do not think that is normal. Yes, I feel that way,... but this does not feel normal... it has been a decade at least since I have felt like a part of something, or since I have felt that sort of close to a group of people.
I do remember what it is like at least.
But what does normal matter? You clear do not like the way you feel, so you should change how you feel. Go out and find those people who matter to you and reconnect. Or, maybe in your case, you should just get to know the people around you a bit better. Develop something deeper than what you already have." He replied.
"I'm trying," she said, finishing off the last of her sweet tea, sagging in her seat, "But... Deeper is, I don't know, if that's what I want? Yamatai still feels so alien to me, almost everyone I've met has been so boisterous... I'm not that energetic a person, Mr. Wazu."
Mehitabel looked down at her empty mug, "...that might be changing. That was extraordinarily sweet."
"WOULD YOU LIKE ANOTHER?!?!?" The mini neko called out from the counter nearby, "Maybe something a bit bitter to cleanse the pallet a bit? A dark coco?"
Wazu would wait for the neko to finish before continuing,
"You can identify something you do not like, and take steps to remove it. Or you can identify something you want and take steps to get it. Maybe you do not know what you want, and I do not think I can help you there, I feel.... Lost more often than not. If you want your friends to be less alien to you, then I think I can help. You enjoy more than just coffee and tea right?"
Mehitabel flushed; the miniature neko had her desires pegged pretty well. She nodded, "Another, please!"
"ONE MORE ON ITS WAY!!"
"As you've noticed," she said with a smile that faded swiftly, "It may be an attitude problem on my part. I... Work a lot, which I enjoy, and come across as... Overly serious? Perhaps that is why I don't get invited to things?"
"It may not be you. The Eucharis has felt..." Wazu trailed off a bit as he tried to find the proper words. "... Strained, maybe. Maybe it is just the more recent crew transfers caught some people off guard. The crew feels very fresh."
The mini-neko floated over, a hovering tray with another cup of tea right behind her... slowly floating down and landing in front of Mehitabel, the empty cup levitating up to the Mini-neko,
"ENJOY!" She shouted, before heading off, giving Wazu some much needed time to collect his thoughts.
"You should throw a party." He said, finally.
"We are very fresh. Most of us have less then a year in uniform, no one more then two. And with established crew members departing..." she tapped her finger on the rim of her new tea mug, giving their waitress a warm grin, "Thank you!"
Nevertheless, Wazu managed to catch her off-guard. Mehitabel slopped some tea out on the table as she chirped, startled by the suggestion, "A party? You saw my home, it is a box full of guns, some furniture, and Ishii-hei. Who, by the way, is not inclined to socialize much."
"I am certain there is a gun range around here if you want to rent it out for a bit and do some shooting with some of the crew... or we could do a house warming party, maybe bring some pictures of the ship to hang up?" Wazu offered, "It is what you make of it."
"I... A range might be fun. There are some rather exotic items for the crew to try if they wish," she said, frowning in thought, "Everyone enjoys explosions. I think."
"Is it something you enjoy? It may be enough to just open yourself up and share what you enjoy with the others." Wazu replied, "
"Perhaps... Would it be something you would like to attend?" Mehitabel asked her tea guest.
"Of course. It might be good for the crew to spend some time together outside of work." He replied.
"This seems like a better and better idea, Mr. Wazu," she agreed, smiling again, "Thank you, for all your help. I'll get the check."
"Alright... I'll get it next time... though would you mind if I got one of those cookies to go?..."
