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Approved Character [YSS Heartbreaker] Yjara Dust

Okay, in general, I found a few small typos, but nothing huge. If you could take a close look and try to catch the rest of those, that would be great, but it's not a big deal.

Since this character is Human/Nepleslian and 20 years old, she would have lived through lots of interesting times, including a couple of wars. I would recommend adding one more paragraph of history, just giving a brief look at where she was and how that might have affected her. Also if she went to school and then college, she would probably be older. 22 at least, I think?

Now, to the part that might actually be a problem...I've never really interacted with the SSS before. I'm not sure how normal it is for them to be on a SA ship, especially one going on a secret mission. I'm going to poke @Nashoba and see if he can enlighten me, because I know I'd seen his characters working for them and referencing them before. Along those same lines, a normal human (especially from an outside organization) might not be treated all that well by some of the crew members. When everyone else is super strong and agile, plus can fly and jack in to computers and armors, normal people can almost seem like a waste of a spot ICly. Especially if she has a disability that she refuses to get fixed, making her even more of a liability in their eyes (ha). Again, if she's placed on the ship as some sort of civilian/science liaison, it makes sense that the Captain didn't have any choice on her selection, but it still might create IC friction.

But I don't see any real problems with the character sheet itself, so hopefully @Nashoba or @Wes or another GM can help clear up the rest for me.
 
Ok I'll see about the typos and about the history.
She is still 20, her passion and being studying the forest around her town made her already know the basics of Archeology for the Bachelor's degree, and she had school at the town, but I guess I could add that to the history
 
I would weigh in that while it is fine for an SSS Science liaison to be aboard a SAOY ship under normal circumstances (I myself play one on the YSS Anoiktos, and so does SmokeEmpress on another), this is a rather secretive and potentially fatal mission with limited personnel so Reynold's concern is a valid one. If she is simply Human/Nepleslian there's the chance she could perish on it for real, while the rest of the Neko-type compliment are somewhat expendable if something happens. My First Officer character tries to stick up for the non-Neko aboard, but she can only do so much after all... however, if you are willing to compromise and have her migrate to a Minkan bodytype that has been militarized (like my character Rin), then I think that would solve that issue. She is solidly Yamataian after all, hailing from a core world like Tatiana. You could always choose to have her keep the eye scar in some fashion or another on purpose as a distinguishing feature, too.

I don't want to discourage you, though. It's still a very good character at the core of it for any other ship, just might not be the best fit for us at it stands. :)
 
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Even though Tatiana is a Yamataian occupied planet, Yjara was born in an independent town in a strategic location in the middle of the forest. Their farms served to produce food to feed the town's people and mines/basic tools to pay protection and property taxes to Yamatai so I think she isn't solidly Yamataian.
For a Scientist, She doesn't really need an upgraded body (Read the Minkan and past model bodies and doesn't say, or atleast I didn't see, anything that would be of great effect excluding the ability to link with computers and inhanced vision) so I don't know what would be the need for it, and ontop of that (I have to put in the history that) she was born in a tradition where they wouldn't upgrade or change bodies if not completly needed, so it would go against that tradition.
SSS (from what I read) has a Life Insurance program for the members, offering Soul Transfer to a new body and the ships have a way of saving backups that I heard about, the Soul Savior Pod, although I don't know if it's something for newer ship models.
 
All Yamataians have access to Soul Transfer technology and backups, it's just as you say tradition if you wish to stand outside this system as a regular Geshrin-style Human or Nepleslian. Use of the system usually goes hand in hand with artificial biological body types, as every Yamataian citizen in good standing also has a right to the use of a civilian grade body such as the old NH-22C Yamataian, or Nh-31 Minkan Folk, though I do admit another plain human body could be easily cloned for her too, according to the wiki article...
 
The Minkan body is a straight upgrade on a human body all around. The most noticeable one would be the telepathy that is shared by every model of the NH line, and the healing improvements, which is why Minkans don't scar, they can't get tattooed, and so on. The big problem would be that the human body isn't compatible with the Soul Transfer technology. So yes, it's possible to back your character's current body up, but you'd be brought back as a Minkan anyway.
 
I noticed that in your Science skill you don't have a specialty chosen or any real detail listed. If she is supposed to be SSS she should probably be better at that stuff that most people on the ship. She doesn't have much training in any other area, no real combat, driving, piloting, armor etc. skills, so I'm not exactly sure what she's there to do if you don't really emphasize her knowledge.

The two people I hoped would weigh in didn't appear, but if Pal says a SSS person would make sense on board, we can definitely work out a story reason for her to be assigned there, if you're firmly attached to that idea. Again, expect the Captain to be a bit upset at first.

If you can do that sweep for typos (I still see things like "get's" and "Traditional Japanese Clouds" or the number 4 instead of four, little things like that) and expand her history like I asked, we can try to bring her in. I will be out of town this weekend, but if you can do this and Pal thinks it looks okay, you can go ahead and post in the thread. I'll get you formally approved and your info on the ship's page once I'm back and have time to double check everything.
 
While I appreciate the trust placed in me, I'm not technically a character approver, so I can't make a final decision...

But, I agree with Reynolds in that in the Science skill Yjara's area of study should be indicated and detailed more... you technically have it listed in her history like so:
...studied for 4 years to achieve a Bachelor's degree in Archeology and some knowledge at Metallurgy and Astronomy.
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Integrate this into her Science skill that she is obviously primarily an Archaeologist. As an example, take a look at my character Shamshiel Topazios, who is also SSS educated:
Shamshiel possesses a bachelor degree in both Planetology and Astrochemistry from the Scientific Studies Service (SSS), and is experienced in using them for the detailed analysis of stellar & planetary compositions and life signs. She has also recently been taking an interest in Biology, diversifying beyond just her inorganic roots.
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ok I'll be sure to change it today.
I've been studying the Timeline a bit better since I've been a bit busy with classes.
Excuse my typos since I'm not yet totally fluent in English and might not see some, I'll try to correct most of them.
 
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You have done a very good job making the requested corrections, and improved upon the personal history with the inclusion of the Second Mishhu War and how it affected Tatiana and by extension your character. I don't see any major reason why she would not be approved, but we should call @Nashoba in here to verify, since he is the SSS boss and I think makes final decisions about those types of characters.
 
I guess the personal history will stay like this, I had to change some things because I discovered that Tatiana was just first colonized in YE 23, so it would be impossible fro Yjara to be born there and changed the location to Planet Yamatai and also specified the ages, when Yjara's sister was born and former/actual professions of Yjara's parents.
Because of the Elysian Wars I had to add that too, making an excuse for why they would go to Tatiana and the evolution of the town they currently live.
 
Alright, that definitely helps make the background a bit more fleshed out. I fixed a few stray typos myself, more for my sake than anything, but it looks a lot better. I do want to point out that, if you're going to make that event in her history a link, you might want to actually create the page so it's not red/blank. And, even though it's not a huge deal, you would probably need permission from @Wes to enter something into Yamatai's space, and you might want to talk to @raz as well, they seemed to have created that system/planet.

It seems fine to approve you to join our little adventure, though. The writing quality seems generally fine, and things should shake out during the actual RP. Go post in the OOC thread and we'll figure out how to get you integrated. I'm dealing with some stuff, but I should be catching up and posting soon. Just felt I should at least take the time to look this over and not keep you waiting.
 
John2y said:
I guess the personal history will stay like this, I had to change some things because I discovered that Tatiana was just first colonized in YE 23, so it would be impossible fro Yjara to be born there and changed the location to Planet Yamatai
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Yeah, this is a common kink in SARP character histories, as we started the setting out really small and expanded later. With the RP time synced with real time (in terms of years anyway), it's taking a long time for the non-homeworld planets to be colonized long enough for new characters to be born and raised on. Good catch and thank you again for joining!
 
Since nobody else has had any problems with the SSS parts I don't fully understand, and the rest is fine, yes, it's approved.
 
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