Approved Character [YSS Kaiyo] Shasse Emiko

[club24]

New Infantry Neko for the Kaiyo
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=characters:yamatai:shasse_emiko

advise if it needs any work

 

[Kim]

@Ametheliana

 

[Ametheliana]

She wouldn't have traveled Yamatai, she would have been assigned. You can choose a non-plotship Yamataian ship for this time or a fort.

 

[Kim]

Taking a look at this, you've made a fairly standard new neko. Most of the things I see are places where punctuation or line breaks would help it read better. But otherwise it looks fine.

 

[club24]

Edited the travel bit out, which parts need better punctuation I'm not the best with that stuff

 

[Kim]

Would you be opposed if I helped you with that?

 

[club24]

no go ahead I don't mind

 

[Kim]

There.

 

[club24]

many thanks, sorry for having to get you to do that

 

[Ametheliana]

So now we've run into the issue that you've written a new from the vat Neko with not much history besides training (90 days) but she was born 2 years ago.

 

[Ametheliana]

Check out the character skill areas and change around the skills you listed to fit these.

 

[club24]

ok ive made the required changes, sorry this is dragging out i clearly needed to do more work on the sheet

 

[Ametheliana]

Approved