Zero has a stoic, cold personality and is best described as a frozen ball of anger and hatred. He is anti-social ...
He doesn't make friends easily but does value what little he can manage in that way, even if it is offsetting for everyone.
Those two statements don't jive. How does he make friends at all? If he's an angry asshole, with Asperger's Syndrome, offsets everyone around him, and so on, how does he make friends? What would he talk about with them?
Zero would be found by a mob of nekos out looking for slaves ...
This would have been around YE 20, right? Maybe YE 22 at the very, very latest? In YE 20, NH-7s were just on the market as possible private soldiers, but seem to mostly have been Yamataian military weapons. I rule it's not possible for Nekos to have been roaming the streets of Funky City, let alone as slavers. You need to replace this part.
... His peers treated him like he was a lesser being because of being Nepleslian, his opportunities to advance were always given to others.
As far as I know — and I'm happy to have another mod correct me on this — there are no hard or even soft examples where Geshrin or Yamataians, many of whom used to be Nepleslian, would be so racist against the Nepleslians. Nepleslians and Geshrin/Yamataians served alongside admirably with each other. Neko racism I can understand. But the Geshrin weren't that much better than Nepleslians, besides semi-computerized brains and some disease resistance, and Yamataians are still VERY new — only three years old.
This also begs the question of, "When did he join the military?" If he joined at 18, which I would assume he did, that's not a lot of time for him to get pissed about assignments going to Yamataians — by then, he'd likely have to be a Yamataian himself, with the Species Restriction Act.
Other than these points, the character's fine.
This character is pending. The submitter must address the list of edits and then bump the thread when it is ready for review.